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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a baby in your room after 6 months?

144 replies

Pumpkinx3x · 25/10/2020 14:12

Hello,

So my baby girl will be 6 months at the end of nov. Her nursery is set up and everything but I’m starting to not want her to go in?

The room gets pretty cold in winter, putting the heating up makes partner and my room too hot so there’s no balance.

But also she’s exclusively breastfed. Obviously she will be weaning at 6 months but in the night I’m the one to feed her meaning I’ll be the one up every night. She refuses bottles and even if she would magically take them having to go sterilise the bottles, heat them up in water etc compared to just putting her on the boob. So yeah maybe I’m just being lazy...

Partner wants her in her room at 6 months but obviously understands where I come from.

Question 1; have you waited past 6 months to move over?
Question 2; how do they sleep in your room? Next to me cots last till 6 months and we have a cot bed which won’t fit anywhere in our room?

Thanks

OP posts:
Myglorioushairdo · 25/10/2020 15:10

Both of mine stayed in our room until they were about 2 and 4. The younger one still climbs into our bed almost every night. I like to keep them close. They are little for such a short time.. No rush to move them to another room. Especially since she's still breastfed..

Twigletfairy · 25/10/2020 15:11

My eldest was 18 months when she went in her own room. Hoping to kick out the youngest sooner than that, but just taking it day by day

jessstan1 · 25/10/2020 15:15

@angelikacpickles

My DD was in a cot in our room until 13 months. My DS was in our bed until he was 3 and half.

If you are doing all the night feeds then I think it's much easier to have them in the room with you at least.

That.

Six months is too young to be in a room of their own - for most babies, at least.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 25/10/2020 15:15

Eldest was in my room (and my bed) all of the night until 3 years; part of the night until 5 years, at which point he actually moved back in for the whole night for a bit. Moved out into his own room again at 6.5 (new home), stayed there all night every night, all good since. He’s 8 now and still comes in very occasionally if he’s had a nightmare.

Youngest is still in my room at 2.5. Starts off in her own bed, comes into mine at some point. Planning to move her soon (to shared room with eldest), just need to move some furniture around. I don’t feel in any rush. It is important to me at the min that she starts in her own bed because I love that space, but I haven’t always felt like that.

coffeelover123987 · 25/10/2020 15:17

All babies are different, I don't see how there can be set rules or guidelines for the transition.
DD moved into her own room at 14 months... but like a boomerang she was back in our bed until she was about 7 😫
Ds stayed in our room until he was over 2.

My sister put her son into his own room at 8 weeks. I've had friends do it from 3/4 weeks. All these kids are happy and balanced!

StopCryingYourHeartOut · 25/10/2020 15:22

11 months our was in our room till. In a cot

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 25/10/2020 15:23

I had my first in a bassinet by the bed until he was 6 months, then coslept after that. My second has been cosleeping with me since birth. Ds has just turned 4 and still cosleeps with his dad in one room, dd has just turned 2 and cosleeps with me in the other room. This has been partly due to me doing longer term breastfeeding. My cousin and his Japanese wife still cosleep with both their children who are about 6 and 8, which I think for her at least is a cultural preference. Early night time seperation from children is definitely not the norm in lots of places. Like you I'd planned to put ds in his own room at 6 months but when it came to it it didn't feel right so I didn't. I know it's not for everyone and some people even get judgy about it, but I wouldn't change anything, its worked great for us. Do whatever feels best for you.

Mulhollandmagoo · 25/10/2020 15:23

My daughter was just shy of 7 months when she went into her own room, but I was blessed with a good sleeper who was sleeping through consistently by then, and to be fair the only reason we moved her is because we were disturbing her when we came to bed. That just worked for us, but where sleep is concerned I would do whatever works for you to ensure everyone gets a decent amount of sleep, and as you're BFing and will be getting us every night then it's entirely up to you as nobody else in the house will be impacted!

The guidance surrounding babies in their own room isn't 6 months it's 'no less than 6 months' there isn't a top age on it, so worth maybe just letting your partner know that gently

Wildflower219 · 25/10/2020 15:26

I'm glad you asked this I'm anxious about my just turned 6month old going into his own room. I still think he's too small and precious and likes to try and sleep on his tummy. I think I over worry but I will be keeping him in until at least 7 months. I'm not ready to give up my little boy yet for his own big room Sad

Crystal90567 · 25/10/2020 15:28

Also. Don't put baby in a cold room ever.
Far more important that partner is too hot than baby too cold. Partner will just have to put up and shut up. Follow your instincts.

AngryFeminist · 25/10/2020 15:33

At least one of us still sleeps next to our 4 year old. At 6 months they still have a bunch of sleep regressions to come (I remember 6 months and 18 months being particularly fucking terrible) and he breastfed til 2.5 so it maximised sleep. Which, if it works for you, is sensible as others have said. You can just semi-stir, latch them on and go back to sleep instead of having to get up, fully wake up and end up not being able to get back to sleep.

I think of you're the one feeding then you really do get the final say on this - she won't be little forever and you'll have your space back in another few months if that's what you want and need :)

majesticallyawkward · 25/10/2020 15:36

My eldest was about 18 months cosleeping in my bed, then either me or dh slept some of the night in her bed until she was 3.
DS is 11 months now and I cosleep with him, he'll go into his own room eventually but I'm in no hurry. Until recently he was still having 2-3 feeds a night and as the one feeding him (ebf) I much prefer just popping a boob out and staying half asleep. Now he just settles better having a quick cuddle, again no need for me to fully wake up. He's also a wiggler and a tummy sleeper, I'm not sure he'd accept the space restrictions of a cot.

Cosleeping isn't for everyone, but done right is safe and the norm in lots of countries. The obsession we have with babies being away from us and 'sleeping through' isnt helpful. Do what feels right for you and your baby, they'll let you know when it's time to change.

MaryMashedThem · 25/10/2020 15:38

DS is 11 months and still in our bed. I love it! Love the snuggles, love not having to get up for his million night time feeds. It helps that DH is 100% on board. Also, we don't have a choice because what would have been DS's room is now DH's office. We'll keep this arrangement until next summer when our fixed term mortgage is up and we can look at moving somewhere bigger, but by that time DS will be about 20 months.
The only issue is that you have to either get used to having sex next to your sleeping baby (we've never managed to get past the awkwardness enough to do this) or you have to get creative/spontaneous - which isn't a bad thing!

MrsKoala · 25/10/2020 15:39

I find it so odd that people can sleep with their babies in another room because it feels so alien to me - the few times I’ve tried it I haven’t slept at all. Proof of how different we all are because I know people who can’t sleep at all of the baby is in the same room as them.

I’d have been more likely to run a marathon than consider putting one of mine in another room at 6 months - we still co sleep and mine are 8, 6 and 4 Grin so I am definitely at the more unusual end of the spectrum! Don’t do it till you feel comfortable.

OwlBeThere · 25/10/2020 15:40

Mine were all in my room past 6 months. The oldest was 9 months, then the middle two about a year, the youngest 18 months.

Lazypuppy · 25/10/2020 15:42

My dd used to only take 10mins to feed, and by 6 months she was only waking up maybe once a night if that. She was in her own room younger anyway, i just had a nice comfy rocking chair in her nursery to sit in while i fed with a nice blanket. It was easier as then i didn't worry about waking my partner up either, and he didn't wake DD up when he went to work

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 25/10/2020 15:42

DD10.5m is still in her next-to-me crib, and comes in with us in middle of night (happened just over the past few days). Sod getting up and going over to another room when she can't settle herself. if she doesn't settle, I just pat-shhh, sing or ... now, bring her in with us.

Much easier!!!

AbsolutWitch · 25/10/2020 15:43

DS is 2 and still in our room as there is nowhere else for him to sleep. He's in a cot with the side off and I'm quite happy for him to stay in with us until he grows out of that

mintyfreshh · 25/10/2020 15:44

Ours stayed in with us for a whole year.

Maireas · 25/10/2020 16:03

I also think it's strange to have a little baby sleeping alone in a room, but if that's what works for you it's fine, but not until you and the baby are ready. Mine were 3 years. I would keep a 6 month old breast fed baby close.

Witchend · 25/10/2020 16:15

Ds did until he was 18 months old mostly because we were selling the house and moving on.
We'd have had to get a bunk for the girls to go in together, rearrange all the rooms, knowing we were planning on moving to a 4 bed so we wouldn't need the bunks, so we'd have had to store their midsleepers etc...
Also it meant that when people looked round the rooms looked more spacious.

He started in Moses' basket, moved to a travel cot and ended up in a mattress on the floor. Although the later was because he was climbing out of the cot regularly (wearing a sleeping bag!) and then climbing in with us, so we felt it was safer for him. It also meant the mattress could be put away when we had viewings.

PebblesAndBamBam · 25/10/2020 17:26

She slept in our bed between me and the next to me, using it as a barrier to prevent her falling off the bed. We started the night off with her in her cot in her room though, and just moved her in with us at the next wake up after I'd gone to bed. Continued that until eighteen months, then put her in a proper bed in her room. At six months she'd wake several times in the evening and come in with me at ten. At ten months she would make it until midnight before walking up, then move in with us. At eighteen months after the introduction of the bed and night weaning she slept until about four in the morning, then came in with us. She slept through by age two in her own bed in her own room.

Thehop · 25/10/2020 17:28

Keep her with you until it feels right, and we’ll done for feeding her yourself. It’s not easy, you’re doing great.

Idontbelieveit12 · 25/10/2020 17:29

Our youngest is 3y9m and still in with us 🤣

Bert2020 · 25/10/2020 17:31

DD was in for 11 months ended up in a travel cot for space. DS will likely stay the same but not sure of sleeping arrangements once he outgrows his crib.