Are carers taking the piss?

[londewy123]

Hi all, I'd really appreciate some advice for others who might have been through the same situation.

My retired parents have hired carers to come to their house 3 times a day, 7 days a week for 1 hour per visit recently- they hired them within the last month.

Dad has (3 days ago) been diagnosed with vascular dementia and my mum has had servere, demolishing depression for 4 years.

Dad doesn't really want carers but needs them to prepare meals, wash up and do basic things like take out the bins.

My concern is recently I've been off work to take dad to appointments and if i randomly come in the house:

X The carers aren't wearing PPE at all!
X They're late by 30 minutes to an hour for their start time- no call or explanation!
X the carers don't seem to do abything; don't engage with parents, house is a shit heap, no washing has been done, floor really obviously dirty, fridge empty almost as if a carer hasn't even been in, let alone three in any 24 hour period!! 7 days a week!! I went in today randomly and the fridge was full of empty food packets. Nothing had been done.

It's heart breaking. I can't afford to give up my job (my own family depend on it).

Should I complain to the carer company? Am I expecting too much?! Wtf, this is the first really experience I've had with carers.

My parents are paying £25,400 PER YEAR for carers to come in 3 times a day, every day per year.

Am I being unreasonable to think they should wear PPE, actually mop the floor, wash clothes? Ensure fridge is semi full of food?
It's so depressing to feel my parents are being taken advantage of.

I work full time and am there when I can be,, hence why we've employed carers!!

@NetflixWatcher

Call the care company tomorrow and discuss what the carers are supposed to do when they go.

Agreed. There's a mismatch in expectations here, find out what they think their responsibilities are and take it from there.

So the carers that came in for MIL did the following, they were in 4 times a day

Personal care and get her up in the morning
Give her breakfast and put stuff in dishwasher
clean her up and put her back to bed(she couldn't sit all day)
Snack
personal care and put a wash on, lunch
dinner, clean her up and put her to bed properly put dishwasher on overnight

We did a weekly shopping delivery, they would write the list with her and we'd order and be there to receive and put it away.

We paid for one of her carers to come in on a Saturday and clean. They'd hoover and clean the kitchen up, that was about it.

We had to rehome the cats as no one was cleaning litter trays everyday and they were shitting all over the house.

The most cooking that was done by care staff was toast, fired egg and microwave stuff so MIL did not have a healthy diet.

You may need to adjust your expectations.

YANBU.

I wonder whether a private advert for a career/housekeeper might be better suited? D

You have now joined the club of constant chasing of poor care. I have been through this and it is hard work.

You may need to help your parents a little bit to get the right care company in place. There are some amazing companies, there are certainly some amazing carers but unfortunately, there can be a lot of shit to wade through.

1. Check the current care plan, it should be in the house and will say what the carers should be doing on each visit.

2. Absolutely complain to the care company and keep complaining if you are not happy.

3. Don't be afraid to change care companies if the current one is not working out.

4. They should write detailed notes as to what they completed each visit. They also should be in the house or be able to be accessed.

Lots of carers only do personal care but you will also find care agencies that provide small amounts of cleaning.

Also, I would check the current set up because one hour per visit three times a day is a lot of money and it is amazing what can be achieved in a short period of time.

My Mum required a great deal of personal care and they could get her up, washed, dressed and breakfast in 45 minutes. Make sure they are not doing for additional time that is not needed.

It is important to make sure you have Lasting Power of Attorneys for both parents if you haven't already for both Fiance and Health and Welfare because it will mean you will be able to speak to the agencies on their behalf.

Also, check with the Care Quality Commission to see that agency rating.

It is a lot when it first happens but you will become more experienced. If you have siblings please get them involved.

I have just done a bit of brain dump but I hope that helps.

Absolutely speak to the care company and get a written agreement of what is to be done. They are carers so they won't deep clean obviously however they should be doing a bit of housekeeping so that the environment isn't hazardous to the client.

Also perhaps get a laminated piece of paper to leave out so that the carers can access it upon their visit and outline what you would like done.

DM has recently had carers 4 times a day due to a fall - she needed help with washing dressing and toilet - they would also make her breakfast sandwich at lunch time, and warm up a pre prepared meal plus hot drinks
I still had to do her washing and shopping - she also has a cleaner who as well as cleaning, does the ironing and puts clean sheets on
DM also has a gardener, neighbours help with things like putting bins and recycling out
DB sorts out all her finances etc
If DM didn’t have all that extra help she would need at least another 20 hours care a week
It’s still a lot cheaper than nursing or care home costs and at the moment she wants to stay in her own home
With 4 hours care a day for a couple I think YABU

Also do your parents have a care manager- a social worker or nurse who is in charge of their care? If so, please discuss it with them.

You seem to be under the impression the carers are home helps and cleaners. Are they employed to clean and shop?

Ex home carer of ten years here.
Firstly, yes, PPE should be being worn

Their times can differ depending on how many other calls they have, the traffic, how far away their last call was, if anything has held them up at the last call etc. Give them some slack on that, they don't do their own Rotas, and the people that do, aren't on the road to understand how hard it can be.

Your parents pay for the carers time, not for jobs. If your parents don't want them carers to do anything, they cannot just go ahead and do things. It's your parents home, and the carers will be respecting that. There are ways of persuading service users into letting you do things, but sometimes that just doesn't work. From your parents POV also, it's a big step for the elderly to let people in to their homes to assist. A lot find it difficult to accept that they are getting older and can't do as much as they used to. Your parents also need time to trust the carers that are coming in to their home.

Many of the people I used to visit were just glad of a chat, and to see somebody. In time they would let me help them, and that is the thing, help them; not do for them.

Please look at it from both sides.

I think you need to look at what your parents need. Is it physical personal care (get your parents out of bed, dressed, washed, fed, back to bed etc)? That’s what the carers are for and should be doing. If they don’t need that much help, then cut down the visits.

It sounds like they do need a cleaner, so can you arrange that? Also, can you arrange a weekly online grocery order to be delivered?

What else is it that your parents need and is missing? Are you worried about falls? Going out and getting lost?

You need to look at the contract they have.
Carers I know generally pop in and out with meals, help to bed, or to get up, then bugger off.

As others have said, you need a clear care plan with your parents needs and your expectations laid out. It might be they need less ‘care time’ and more ‘household help’ time. If the agency can’t meet your family’s needs find one that will.

Timekeeping is often a problem, the work can be unpredictable - staff get ill, clients incidents can cause delays.

And just one thing from my own experience; if your dad’s been a bit resistant it might be that he’s not been letting them do stuff - mine was practically sitting the carers down and making them tea and biscuits, and was incredibly resistant to the idea of a cleaner. It can be very hard for them to let go, so check that he’s not been tell them to leave stuff.

These are all issues you need to take to the company who coordinate the support. Or if you employ the staff directly sit down and discuss your concerns. Explain there needs to be a text if running late, specific household jobs completed and offer guidelines about chatting to parents. Follow up with an email outlining the issue and what actions have been agreed. Monitor the situation and reload at options if no improvement is found change service providers. Vote with your feet

Depending on their job description I would report the,. Caters like this give others careers a bad reputation. I have several family members who are careers and work so dam hard, they genuinely love their jobs and helping people. I know this because I’ve seen some of them in action and also seen them put in extra time (unpaid) for some of their clients. I’ve also bagged them to get better jobs but they love what they do. Unfortunately careers are usually on zero contract hour contracts for minimum wage, so the old saying, you get what you pay for comes to mind...

For £25k a year could you not hire someone full time to be your parents regularly career/cleaner?

Sorry, should read, report them and careers like this...

Carers do personal care, not shopping, not cleaning, they can prepare a simple meal, help wash, dress, toilet and maybe bed change. Drop one of the hours a day and get a house keeper...bit of cleaning, bit of shopping and a chat. You need to check on all this because the carers will take advantage if they can get away with it (coming late, going early etc)

I am a domicillary carer and have worked for various companies and I will say that company sounds shit.
They should absolutely be wearing PPE, even prior to covid a minimum is gloves and apron.
The timings it is standard to have 10/20 minutes either side of you assigned visit to allow for emergencies, staff changes last minute etc as believe it or not our days go sideways more often than we like to admit 🙈
I would look at the amount of time assigned and maybe have it increased. And I'll explain why. You say they are there for both parents. 3x 1 hour per day. I would assume that's am, lunch and pm. Am and pm visits normally involve personal care, so that's 2 people to wash, dress and get breakfast and meda done, so 30 minutes each, it is doable but will be tight on times. So that gives 1 hour at lunch to do the housework, food, washing up checking the fridge etc, again this is very tight on times.
I would also look at how the food situation is managed, who does the shopping? Are they expected to cook meals or is it frozen meals?
Hope that helps.

Some Carers do clean, mine do. In fact they’re contracted (through the council) to do four hours of cleaning per week. I can’t cope with anyone being here to provide personal care (I’m severely agoraphobic and have ASD) but my husband is also disabled and neither of us can keep up the house so we have the carers.

We’ve had all sorts of issues with lateness, missing appointments etc and have had to complain many times. Whether your carers are council provided or private I’d definitely complain, this is unacceptable.

is it a multi million pound franchise company started by evangelical Christians in the Us by any chance?

My dad has carers that come in twice a day. It is a company that was recommended to me. They will do anything they are asked to do and if not asked look for things to do. All the different carers are absolutely lovely. I think you should check what they have been asked to do and if you are not happy find another company.

I dont think an hour is long enough. I'm a self employed carer and I wouldn't think an hour was enough for anything other than care. I also do not wear ppe unless anyone had symptoms.

Check the care plan. It would be very unusual for care workers to be responsible for cleaning/shopping/laundry. An hour visit could easily be taken up with washing and toileting. And a chat over a cuppa is probably the most valuable aspect of care to an isolated person who requires external care.

Timing - can be hard for them to be exact, it’s more important they are staying for the correct length of time

Tasks - totally legitimate to ask for a review with the company and clarify what tasks are expected. Check the notes that should be in the house for what they’ve done.

Sadly some carers do take the piss, it’s a job open to abuse in terms of people not staying the full time etc.
But also it might be that there are unrealistic expectations in the time available.
Or your parents are not letting them do stuff
Or they don’t know what tasks they should be doing (stuff like checking in the drudge would not occur to them unless been specifically requested)
Or they’re doing more other stuff than you realise, like personal cars, and don’t Hvw time for everything

Absolutely raise it with the agency