Head not allowing my DD school packed lunch

[peacockfeather11]

This is the first time I taking this up directly with the HT. DD says the food awful and bland, this was brought up last year with the HT by a group of parents and as usual the response was 'we will try a new menu'. It did work for a few weeks and then the standard dropped once again, by then the parents had given up.
Now again this year and same issue, I sent an email and was told they have a 'no packed lunch policy', I can't find this one their web site and no-one seems to think it exists and that a new menu will be introduced. DD is so hungry after school and being in Yr6 has more work but has lost her appetite since going back. She generally has a good appetite and will try anything but says the school food is making her sick.
I sent another mail before holidays and never got a response. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

How could it be up to the school to decide if you bring a packed lunch. Deeply bizarre. I'd be ignoring that without a further thought.

Holy crap. You should have seen the stuff I had to eat for school dinners!

Watery mashed potatoes with lumps served, by some bitter irony, with an ice cream scoop; lambs liver like shoe leather and vile furry tinned peas.

She's not going to die from it (I assume you feed her well at home) it's character forming. No sympathy!

@TonTonMacoute

Holy crap. You should have seen the stuff I had to eat for school dinners!

Watery mashed potatoes with lumps served, by some bitter irony, with an ice cream scoop; lambs liver like shoe leather and vile furry tinned peas.

She's not going to die from it (I assume you feed her well at home) it's character forming. No sympathy!

It's not character forming. And you may have eaten the disgusting food but many others didn't. I was just a very hungry all afternoon at school and that probably affected what I learned.

I thought that there were always 4 options in respect of midday meals:

1. a paid for school dinner
2. a free school dinner
3. a home provided packed lunch to be eaten at school (I think the school can police the make up of these to ensure health & safety of whole school community and to promote healthy eating)
4. the right to go home for lunch (though I think this has largely stopped)

It may be worth contacting your education welfare officer responsible for the school at your council offices if you can't negotiate an acceptable solution with the head teacher.

Big eye roll at the ‘character building’ comments.
I agree wholeheartedly with others who say it is often deemed acceptable to force children to eat unhealthy bland cheap crap. There were lots of things done to children in times gone by that now seem unacceptable. Thank god times have changed.
As a teacher, I would say that it’s just a weird control thing by the school, not allowing a packed lunch. A packed lunch is always a school option.
Children are people too. Can you imagine going a full day nearly and only being served crappy food you hate? I know kid can be super fussy but that’s extreme.

@TonTonMacoute

Holy crap. You should have seen the stuff I had to eat for school dinners!

Watery mashed potatoes with lumps served, by some bitter irony, with an ice cream scoop; lambs liver like shoe leather and vile furry tinned peas.

She's not going to die from it (I assume you feed her well at home) it's character forming. No sympathy!

We didn't have any food at all. Did we make it? Yes. Was it right? I'd say no. Normally when people deal with something shit, they hope(or actually do something so) things would change for the better,for everyone else. Not cackle with glee when children deal with similar shit.

As for character forming, it doesn't necessarily mean you ended up with a good/nice character as well, which you've proved.

The school will have a complaints policy. Follow it. Explain the issue and what outcome you want ie child wants to bring her own lunch. The HT will have to provide a response within a set number of days.
If you are not satisfied with the school’s response, you go to the next stage which will probably be the governing body.
You don’t need to lie or get up some bullying petition to force your own way. Be polite, be reasonable.
Can’t see why a lunch in a disposable bag would cause an issue.
Offer a solution to the problem and ask for a compromise.

She's not going to die from it (I assume you feed her well at home) it's character forming. No sympathy!

"not going to die" - you have a very low bar. As for character forming - utter bollocks.

My god. What a load of whingers on this site. To think you’d bother a headteacher right note as little darling doesn’t like the lunch. I’m a state primary teacher and I can’t imagine the stress my headteacher is under right now, let alone having to deal with self entitled parents bringing their children up to be totally spineless- are you going to ring up their university as well when they get an ‘unfair’ mark on an essay. Please don’t lie about safeguarding either- and it isn’t on any way a safeguarding issue except poor parenting- when safeguard leads have more than usual genuine and serious safeguarding issues to deal with....what an idiotic post and a scarily large amount of people agreeing. Still, this country did vote for Brexit....

‘Right now’

@pleasehelpwi3

My god. What a load of whingers on this site. To think you’d bother a headteacher right note as little darling doesn’t like the lunch. I’m a state primary teacher and I can’t imagine the stress my headteacher is under right now, let alone having to deal with self entitled parents bringing their children up to be totally spineless- are you going to ring up their university as well when they get an ‘unfair’ mark on an essay. Please don’t lie about safeguarding either- and it isn’t on any way a safeguarding issue except poor parenting- when safeguard leads have more than usual genuine and serious safeguarding issues to deal with....what an idiotic post and a scarily large amount of people agreeing. Still, this country did vote for Brexit....

Sorry, but if this is a state school then the no packed lunch policy is actually not legal. If the head doesn't know this, they don't deserve to be a head.

Of course it isn't a safeguarding issue - this is about a school wanting to make money. That too is understandable, but it isn't the right thing to do. OP has every right to point out to the head that they are contravening national policy here.

I’d rather work for an inspirational head who improves children’s life chances but banned pack lunches than an average one at a coasting school who allowed them.... I honestly think a sense of perspective is required here. Even if the food isn’t great, this isn’t the time to be raising the issue. Schools don’t make money out of serving lunches, they cover their costs. There are also issues about bringing things in from home-at the moment- the head in this school might be being over this.

Be being over cautious.

@pleasehelpwi3

My god. What a load of whingers on this site. To think you’d bother a headteacher right note as little darling doesn’t like the lunch. I’m a state primary teacher and I can’t imagine the stress my headteacher is under right now, let alone having to deal with self entitled parents bringing their children up to be totally spineless- are you going to ring up their university as well when they get an ‘unfair’ mark on an essay. Please don’t lie about safeguarding either- and it isn’t on any way a safeguarding issue except poor parenting- when safeguard leads have more than usual genuine and serious safeguarding issues to deal with....what an idiotic post and a scarily large amount of people agreeing. Still, this country did vote for Brexit....

You're in the wrong job mate.

@pleasehelpwi3

I’d rather work for an inspirational head who improves children’s life chances but banned pack lunches than an average one at a coasting school who allowed them.... I honestly think a sense of perspective is required here. Even if the food isn’t great, this isn’t the time to be raising the issue. Schools don’t make money out of serving lunches, they cover their costs. There are also issues about bringing things in from home-at the moment- the head in this school might be being over this.

Why is it an either /or situation?

Why not have an inspirational head at a good school that also allows packed lunches and thus following the law?

Why not have a good head that realises, especially now, that forcing parents to pay for school meals when they have lost jobs,have been furloughed,are struggling is not the way to go? Not to mention that a state school can't do this.

Why not have a good head that is aware enough of SEN and dietary needs to realise that forcing parents to pay for meals that their children can't eat is not right?

@pleasehelpwi3

I’d rather work for an inspirational head who improves children’s life chances but banned pack lunches than an average one at a coasting school who allowed them.... I honestly think a sense of perspective is required here. Even if the food isn’t great, this isn’t the time to be raising the issue. Schools don’t make money out of serving lunches, they cover their costs. There are also issues about bringing things in from home-at the moment- the head in this school might be being over this.

I find it hard to believe that a head who forces parents to pay for meals that their children aren't going to eat and that is happy for children to be hungry all afternoon is going to be an "inspirational head who improves children's life chances". Plus the head doesn't seem to know the law. Not really very inspirational or likely to be good at their job.

I don't know what the issues are regarding bringing things in from home. They don't seem to have them in the schools around me but then why would they as it doesn't make sense. If they have Covid it will be the child themselves that infects people not their packed lunch.

I feel there are safeguarding issues here and would definitely take it up with the HT and local council.lt is totally unrealistic to expect children to eat an unappetizing meal.The child with no food in their stomachs is not going to learn very much if they have gnawing hunger they will.feel very unwell.

Hi not sure if you’ve wilfully misunderstood my post or not; the point is that a head can be a brilliant one even if you disagree with their school lunch policy.
Packed lunches can lead to children sharing/exchanging bits from their lunches and somewhere to store the lunch boxes. If the boxes haven’t been sanitised by parents and have coronavirus on them that increases the risk for others.

Hi not sure if you’ve wilfully misunderstood my post or not; the point is that a head can be a brilliant one even if you disagree with their school lunch policy
I don't think they have misunderstood.
Another poster has pointed out the law on lunches.
A decent headteacher wouldn't be ignoring the law.

For what it's worth I do think the OP's DC sounds like they're potentially a bit precious. If school dinners were full of really bold flavours then they'd have complaints about that so dialing the overall flavours down is probably to do with trying to design meals that several hundred children will eat. Either way, the law is the law.

If I was in the wrong job I wouldn’t have won a national award for my teaching last year and be described as ‘inspirational’ by many parents and children; most of whom write to the head asking for me to teach them/ their children the next year....but hey, I guess they’re all wrong and you can judge someone’s teaching capabilities on a few comments on mumsnet!

PS the award was worth £5000.... :)

I haven’t mentioned the law in any of my posts, and yes, the head should follow the law and allow pack lunches. I think the op is being very precious indeed- school lunches are at worse bland but edible.
I can think of a couple of examples where a decent head wouldn’t follow the law- if you go back to the 1980s and section 23 if a gay pupil wanted advice; and also nowadays if a school suspects a private adoption they must report it to the LA even if there are no safeguarding concerns. In a previous incarnation working with an MP I have seen a case where a school raised a private adoption suspicions with Southwark which resulted in child being deported from loving, caring family to a really miserable situation in a poor country to live with dying grandparents.

I would not have coped with this at all. I developed IBS around 8-10 years of age, it got worse in my teens. Being forced to eat meals I didn't like contributed to my developing an eating disorder.

@pleasehelpwi3

My god. What a load of whingers on this site. To think you’d bother a headteacher right note as little darling doesn’t like the lunch. I’m a state primary teacher and I can’t imagine the stress my headteacher is under right now, let alone having to deal with self entitled parents bringing their children up to be totally spineless- are you going to ring up their university as well when they get an ‘unfair’ mark on an essay. Please don’t lie about safeguarding either- and it isn’t on any way a safeguarding issue except poor parenting- when safeguard leads have more than usual genuine and serious safeguarding issues to deal with....what an idiotic post and a scarily large amount of people agreeing. Still, this country did vote for Brexit....

What does this have to do with voting Brexit? Are you saying that people who disagree with forcing children to eat crap bland food are all thick gammons? I fail to see the link. I voted Remain and I believe that children should be treated like adults regarding food choices.

OP find out why they don’t allow packed lunches and challenge it.

@pleasehelpwi3 - that depends on your definition of edible. My mother only realised I wasn't eating the school lunches when I'd visibly lost weight. I was year 1 (primary) & they were vile. Apparently I lied & told her I was eating them.