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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Head not allowing my DD school packed lunch

291 replies

peacockfeather11 · 24/10/2020 17:26

This is the first time I taking this up directly with the HT. DD says the food awful and bland, this was brought up last year with the HT by a group of parents and as usual the response was 'we will try a new menu'. It did work for a few weeks and then the standard dropped once again, by then the parents had given up.
Now again this year and same issue, I sent an email and was told they have a 'no packed lunch policy', I can't find this one their web site and no-one seems to think it exists and that a new menu will be introduced. DD is so hungry after school and being in Yr6 has more work but has lost her appetite since going back. She generally has a good appetite and will try anything but says the school food is making her sick.
I sent another mail before holidays and never got a response. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
AhoyMeFarties · 25/10/2020 08:36

@Littleposh yes, if she chooses not to eat it because its 'bland'. Schools cater for the masses. The child has no allergies its just not what she prefers
Deal with it

manymanymany · 25/10/2020 09:03

I’d possibly go down the route of trying to throw some action words in.
So either ‘safeguarding issue’
Or ‘sensory issues and therefore discrimination against special needs’ etc.
that's appalling advice that does a huge disservice to children who actually do have special needs. I'd hope any school would require a formal report if someone tried to pull that one. It's not a safeguarding issue of course.
If necessary OP, can you ask your daughter to just eat the plain pasta or whatever and fruit and then make sure she has an excellent breakfast and dinner. Let the school knows she dislikes the food and ask them not to try to encourage her to eat more than she wants. Maybe they're in a contract with a supplier for x number of meals and if they start allowing packed lunches it will be a lot of hassle, and during COVID they've too much else to be dealing with? My dcs school went from a great range of hot food to pretty much just sandwiches due to the pandemic (size of kitchen I think made SD difficult). They now bring in their own food.

manymanymany · 25/10/2020 09:06

I really think schools have so much to be dealing with that pupils designing the menu or having a tasting panel is ridiculous at the moment - just cite the regulations if you have to, and send her in with a packed lunch if you really want to keep causing a fuss about it.

Littleposh · 25/10/2020 09:39

Or she can just have a packed lunch like thousands of other kids?? I really don't understand why you're so against this concept??

AhoyMeFarties · 25/10/2020 09:54

@Littleposh

Or she can just have a packed lunch like thousands of other kids?? I really don't understand why you're so against this concept??
Rightly or wrongly the school have a no packed lunch policy, so that's not an option
RedHelenB · 25/10/2020 10:03

If you and the other parents stopped paying for school meals then I'm sure they'd soon say to bring a packed lunch in!

WitchesSpelleas · 25/10/2020 10:11

Rightly or wrongly the school have a no packed lunch policy, so that's not an option

According to the legal information posted below, the school isn't allowed to have a no packed lunch policy - unless it's a private school, which I don't think the OP has said it is.

AhoyMeFarties · 25/10/2020 10:15

@WitchesSpelleas

Rightly or wrongly the school have a no packed lunch policy, so that's not an option

According to the legal information posted below, the school isn't allowed to have a no packed lunch policy - unless it's a private school, which I don't think the OP has said it is.

I agree , I was just stating what the *OP’ said
WitchesSpelleas · 25/10/2020 10:18

Sorry, AhoyMeFarties, I misread your post.

ClareBlue · 25/10/2020 10:19

Strange how many people think it is acceptable to lie about medical conditions, make it a safeguarding issue etc to get their own way because they think the end justifies the means, even to getting a doctor to write a note. This undermined those where these are genuine issues. Best to look at why the policies exist, if they do, get they changed, get better school dinners, get proper policies in place etc, ask to see the dinners or the school parents reps to see them, ask the student reps to start campaign, etc. All better choices than showing your daughter that one option is to mislead the school about her needs to get her own way.

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 25/10/2020 10:24

Having worked in schools for twenty years, I assume the person suggesting bland lunches is a safeguarding issue lives on another planet.

AhoyMeFarties · 25/10/2020 10:27

No problem @witchesSpelleas 👍

RedElephants · 25/10/2020 10:29

A state-funded school cannot have a "no packed lunches" policy. Education Act 1996 section 512(5) requires maintained schools to provide facilities for the consumption of packed lunches. Whilst this only applies directly to maintained schools, academies are required to follow the relevant law by their funding agreements. Banning packed lunches is clearly contrary to this.

The head should read the "School food in England" advice for governing bodies published by the DfE last year. About halfway down p5 it says, "Facilities to eat the food that they bring to school must be provided free of charge for pupils not taking school meals. As a minimum these facilities should include accommodation, furniture and supervision so that pupils can eat food they have brought from home in a safe and social environment."

Some good advice there op

The children at our school have 3 options to choose from
Ham, chicken or tuna in a roll
Cheese or egg in a roll
Hot option is, either pizza, or burger or fish fingers which come in a roll.

This comes in a paper bag, in that bag there is also a pack of 3-4 pieces each of cucumber and carrot sticks, a yoghurt or a small pot of iced smoothie, a piece of fruit, and either a 'biscuit' or piece or plain sponge cake.
We don't have a hot meal with vegetables option at the moment.

The children can though, bring in a packed lunch from home.

Noitjustwontdo · 25/10/2020 10:29

My DH went to private schools with a no packed lunch policy so it’s not uncommon in private schools. If it’s state school it’s just weird though, many parents can’t afford school dinners and aren’t on a low enough income for FSM. I have three DC in KS2 and they’ve all had packed lunches since they entered KS2 because it would cost me £36 a week for school dinners and I can’t justify it. They had school dinners in KS1 when it was free and they got the same thing every single day because they didn’t like the other options!

Macncheeseballs · 25/10/2020 10:34

My kids complain about school food, but I tell them to get on with it, I dont want to make pack lunches and I don't want to raise fussy eaters

prh47bridge · 25/10/2020 10:47

@Littleposh

Or she can just have a packed lunch like thousands of other kids?? I really don't understand why you're so against this concept??
The OP isn't against her daughter having a packed lunch. The problem is that the school claims to operate a "no packed lunch" policy. As I have pointed out, they are not allowed to have such a policy.
Diverseopinions · 25/10/2020 10:55

Food blandness is a subjective matter and difficult to measure. What someone finds boring but tolerable, another person might enjoy. The problem is that if someone is actually refusing to eat the food, it may become an issue for the child and their welbeing.
Blandness may not be the only issue. There may be issues with the quality which are harder to describe. There might be a funny unappetising smell, or the temperature might make the food unpalatable. A big stoge lump of tepid mashed potato might be hard work chewing and getting down. If the saliva glands are not being activated by smell and flavour, it could be a physical chore to eat.

Of course it isn't sensible to inflate the problem and to make it sound medical when it isn't. There are many important issues for school to think about. . But let's say the smell, texture, temperature and taste of the food is putting the kids off eating and may be making them distrust eating outside the home, then the school dinners are becoming a contributing factor ( only contributing - not the whole cause) to a potential problem re the child's relationship with food. No harm in the school knowing this.

sashh · 25/10/2020 11:03

It’s school dinners not a gourmet restaurant

I did quite a long supply at a school in a very deprived area. They had employed a French chef, one of the options could have been sold in a Parisien cafe (not a Michelin stared place).

Oh they also had compulsory and free breakfast. All teaching staff and students had to go to the canteen for breakfast, you were not forced to eat if you didn't want but you had to go to the canteen and the food and drinks were free.

nosswith · 25/10/2020 11:14

People have varied diets at home. According to their cultural traditions and heritage in some instances, not because of lazy or inadequate parenting. So I can get how school meals can be bland to some, and certainly the improvements from a catering contractor being for only a limited time.

Then there are those who have intolerances to food which are recognised, and I don't mean fussy eaters.

If the school really has a no packed lunch policy, I think it may fail their duties under the Equalties Acts, or reasonable adjustments for those with a disability. Much as I can understand a school wanting children to have school meals as a hot main meal of the day and for the socialising that sitting around a table brings.

Dreading2020sSeasonFinale · 25/10/2020 12:54

@Cliff1975

Pick your battles, this is not it

Disagree. How many of us would pay every single day to be given inedible, badly cooked food and be okay with it?

If you don't like the food you should not be forced to pay for it nor eat it.

Sargass0 · 25/10/2020 13:09

I'd get her to smuggle in some salt and pepper ...job done

BookishZen · 25/10/2020 13:42

The fact that your DD is eating lots of different things at home and it isn’t a issue YANBU, clearly it’s the quality of the food that’s the issue. If your DD just wanted to eat chicken nuggets and chips for example I would feel differently. Just take a packed lunch in for DD.

For those posters that say that her DD should just suck it up, I don’t know a single person that has a bad meal somewhere and then continually goes back each day and pay for it and eat it again. Not sure what life lesson that’s meant to be teaching 🤔🤔.

marmite79 · 25/10/2020 13:54

My DC’s school had a no pack lunch rule to covid as didn’t want lunch boxes being brought in. However now it’s changed and juniors can take a packed lunch as often parents can’t afford to pay for a school lunch!

Infants still have to have the school dinners. Even though despite their lunches being free many children (allergies etc) would take a packed lunch before covid.

It’s a stupid system. School are saying pack lunch boxes need to be cleaned daily! Surely that’s common sense anyway!

WendyE · 25/10/2020 17:10

@pointythings

I'm willing to bet this is about money and what the school gets from their provider. Not enough kids having school meals = not enough cash coming in.
It's almost certainly that, but probably can't be publicised.
WendyE · 25/10/2020 17:16

prh47bridge
Thank you for clarifying this.