To do a normal Christmas this year

[Coviddooneplease]

Now before I’m flamed I don’t mean completely normal eg a New Year’s Eve party like we usually have, and huge gatherings of both mine and dh’s family all together. I won’t go stupid but I have no intention of snubbing family this Christmas Anette’s denying my dc to see our nearest ant dearest. I know it’s been a shit year for everyone, and I expect the majority of you have stuck to the rules religiously (like me) but I refuse to have a shit Christmas to top of a shit 2020.

I plan to have my parents round on their own then my sister and niece on their own then see dh’s parents and brother at their house. That’s it. Usually we have 30+ people including both sets of grandparents (mine) who I won’t be spending time with as they are to vulnerable medically speaking. AIBU here or are other people going to do what they went whilst exercising caution and of course common sense?

We are planning to stick to the rules but I appreciate its easy for me to say as no one lives alone.

I am a bit worried that MIL will expected to be invited round (and not social distance) but I will cross that bridge when we come to it!

Aw no it’s not easy for anyone. I feel bad for admitting I plan to break the rules but I’ve stuck to them 100% from day one like a lot of us but where has that got us? A whole lot of sadness, mental health problems, lack of physical contact and the cases are still going up.

I dont think you'll be alone!

I don't know what.we'll do yet, we're lucky to be walking distance from my mum & stepdad so well at least be able to.go for a.walk but we were meant to have a big bash at SIL's which would have been awesome

There is increasing evidence that lockdowns dong work. Added to that, they increase depression and anxiety among other things. I would go ahead and have the best Christmas you can.

Don’t work

How sorry will you be when an older relative gets Covid, through your selfishness?

Yes I’ve read that also. I complied in the beginning as it was all new we didn’t know how bad it could get and I felt like we were all in it together. The rules where clear back then but now they’re all over the place and some make no sense what so ever. My dc amazed me with how well they coped in the beginning but they are so fed up now. We are in a tier 2 area so haven’t had anyone in our house including parents for a while but Christmas needs to be cheerful and we need to just forget and enjoy ourselves even if it’s just for one day.

@Sertchgi123

How sorry will you be when an older relative gets Covid, through your selfishness?

Doesn't the older relative have any agency or responsibility too?

I've seen how much damage lockdown did to both my toddler and my aging parents/grandparents and I don't think YABU OP.

One lockdown was fine - this going on for 12+ months and it really does start to become a toss up between Covid and mental health/emotional and psychological well-being, which is massively deteriorating for many people.

My relatives, and myself for that matter, could catch covid through our selflessness ie sticking to the rules, only going out for essentials like food clothing or work, So please, don’t try and guilt trip me as it won’t work.

@Coviddooneplease

Aw no it’s not easy for anyone. I feel bad for admitting I plan to break the rules but I’ve stuck to them 100% from day one like a lot of us but where has that got us? A whole lot of sadness, mental health problems, lack of physical contact and the cases are still going up.

🤦🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ Can you not see that without taking the measures we have, that things would have been far worse???

You're going to do, what you're going to do, probably/possibly spreading Covid, but why post to brag about it?

The virus won't be taking Christmas off, so why do you think it's acceptable to increase the spread if it?

Sounds like you still have all your family & havent lost anyone to Covid and that's fabulous. But if everyone sees family and spreads it about over Christmas, the death rate at the end of January is going to be heartbreaking & the more community spread there is, the more risk your own grandparents have of getting it.

DH and I have already made plans to self-isolate with our DD (who will only be four months old so not in childcare etc) from the 10th and head to family after that. Relatively easy as DH is wfh and I’m on mat leave so it’s just a question of filling up the freezer and finding ways to not go mad! My DSis and her partner and my parents are going to do the same so we will be gathering as a 7 (albeit person 7 is tiny DD!) so breaking the rules, but with no risk to anyone. We’ll then be going on to MiL, who can’t self isolate due to work but obviously the risk is from her to us so we’re comfortable with it, plus she’s in a part of the country which (at the moment) has some of the lowest rates.

So yes we’re breaking the rules but given the voluntary self isolation it’s basically risk free.

Would something like that be an option in your family?

Yes I agree with you there. I expect most people have suffered to some degree and it’s so very sad. There is only so much people can take me included.

Obviously, if anyone showed any symptoms at all during self isolation their ‘unit’ would miss family Christmas, which would be shit, but we’ve all agreed we won’t be taking chances.

Christmas needs to be cheerful and we need to just forget and enjoy ourselves even if it’s just for one day

So, do that with your partner & kids. No ones stopping you having a great day, just keep to yourselves

No one likes Annette.

@Coviddooneplease

Yes I’ve read that also. I complied in the beginning as it was all new we didn’t know how bad it could get and I felt like we were all in it together. The rules where clear back then but now they’re all over the place and some make no sense what so ever. My dc amazed me with how well they coped in the beginning but they are so fed up now. We are in a tier 2 area so haven’t had anyone in our house including parents for a while but Christmas needs to be cheerful and we need to just forget and enjoy ourselves even if it’s just for one day.

You won't be alone I suppose. Plenty of irresponsible people about planning what you're planning.

You’re right, I haven’t lost anyone to covid but I did lose a close relative a few months back who died because she was poorly and couldn’t get an appointment with her GP. She didn’t want to pester her GP and thought she would be ok but no, she went to bed and passed away in her sleep. It devastated my family so now, more than ever, we understand how important family Is.

@Coviddooneplease

My relatives, and myself for that matter, could catch covid through our selflessness ie sticking to the rules, only going out for essentials like food clothing or work, So please, don’t try and guilt trip me as it won’t work.

So you've made your mind up. Why post then?

@Dollywilde. IF everyone self isolates properly (not nipping to the shops/popping to friends etc having to work outside the home etc) then that sounds perfectly fine to me, but I'm guessing very few people I'll be able or willing to do that the two weeks before Christmas.

Ok call me irresponsible if you like but I’m happy with fact I’ve complied 100% and continue to do so. I kept my dc off school even though they could have stayed on as dh is a key worker, I didn’t have parties like my neighbours, didn’t drag my dc to the beach, didn’t see my grandparents from March until August etc. So taking one day off to enjoy our family chromate is a drop in the ocean compared to what some people have done and I don’t see the issue.

We’ll be doing the same, not going all out but seeing some family. If everyone is sensible and has a relatively dialled down Christmas then I don’t see the problem of seeing some family members. We can’t be isolated forever!

Actually as luck would have it I have 3 weeks off work in December including the 2 weeks run up to Christmas Day itself and my dh has 10 days off work before hand.

I can’t think of anything worse than having 30 people and a stinking great Christmas tree stuck indoors.

@MJMG2015 oh agreed. My dad is ECV though - parents are retired so we’re planning on taking a big box of food for them on the 9th. DSis and her bf are both techies who are probably going to be wfh forever now so just a question of building up a freezer stash and not going to the pub. And DD is currently 10 weeks old so self isolation is easy for us, we’re not really going out or anything and I’ve still got a freezer full of batch cooked stuff from pre baby mat leave

Dad has quite bad primary progressive MS so it’s really in none of our interests to take any risks. Even stuff like packing a potty in the car so we don’t stop at services on the way down (and it’s only an hour to Mum and Dads, but in case we got held up!) But we’ve figured this is a good way to enjoy a family Christmas. Plus with newborn DD we’re really going to need a break by then!

I don't see the issue

You and many like you.