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Original poster

To assume he's shagging another woman right now

115 replies

Stressedmessdress · 23/10/2020 23:58

I've been talking to a man every day for the past couple of weeks. We've known each other from work for about 6 months now and have always gotten along well, but he seems to have ranked things up recently. It's almost always him beginning message conversations with me, often multiple times a day.

I asked if he's doing anything fun this weekend because he's in a tier 1 area and he gave me a cagey answer. He then sent me a picture of him driving somewhere at about 5pm. Since then, he hasn't been online on his phone or texted me at all. My immediate reaction is to think that he was driving to meet up with a woman and isn't messaging me because he's busy shagging her right now.

Is this a leap?

OP posts:
alltoomuchrightnow · 24/10/2020 00:01

It's not a leap, it's close to what's happening to me right now but he's not shagging (yet) as she's too far away..but yes I got ghosted and stonewalled in the past month because he met her then. Last night I asked if there was someone else and he's admitted, yes...
:(

alltoomuchrightnow · 24/10/2020 00:02

cowardly little cunts

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 24/10/2020 00:06

Wow, I'd like to know what his "cagey" answer was that you've jumped to this conclusion that the only reason he's not text/been online is cos he's busy shagging.

Visiting family. Fishing. Ummm, possibly a hundred other reasons I'd think of before I'd think it must be another woman based on no actual information suggesting this.

mercutio12 · 24/10/2020 00:09

I think listen to your gut in this situation, it certainly sounds like he might be.

Original poster
Stressedmessdress · 24/10/2020 00:11

Don't want to out myself but he made a joke and didn't actually answer the question. He doesn't have any family nearby and who goes fishing at 10pm at night?

OP posts:
Mytimetokillandmaim · 24/10/2020 00:12

Well it doesn't sound great. But he could just be getting pissed with his mates...

Original poster
Stressedmessdress · 24/10/2020 00:20

Should I message him?

OP posts:
Leaannb · 24/10/2020 00:22

@Stressedmessdress

Don't want to out myself but he made a joke and didn't actually answer the question. He doesn't have any family nearby and who goes fishing at 10pm at night?
A lot of people do...We are packing up to go now and ots 716 pm. Thats usually when the fish bite. Also, you guys are just talking. Not in any kind of relationship so he is free to shag whoever he wants
BitOfFun · 24/10/2020 00:23

FGS don't message him!

Leaannb · 24/10/2020 00:23

@Stressedmessdress

Should I message him?
No. Leave him alone to enjoy his evening
OzziePopPop · 24/10/2020 00:26

Apparently night fishing is a thing, ex’s db did it.

I wouldn’t message, especially not at this time.

Sorry if it doesn’t work out as you want 💐

12309845653ghydrvj · 24/10/2020 00:26

Wow well that’s one hell of a leap—I mean maybe on a date with someone else (as he is entitled to do) but for him to be off his phone for one evening, and you to jump straight to him being in someone else right now, is a bit much.

There are so many things he could be up to, and so many reasons he could be cagey—he could have been in a rush when texting, it could be something very uncool, it could be a family thing/something private about someone else (like a sister going through a divorce), maybe he’s being lax about COVID restrictions and is scared to admit it.

I’d be more worried by a guy who is still on his messages when he’s out with people, that’s just the worst.

It sounds like you like him a lot—do you plan to stay actually dating soon? Could you ask him and maybe kickstart this conversation?

12309845653ghydrvj · 24/10/2020 00:26

@Stressedmessdress

Should I message him?
NO !!!
Elieza · 24/10/2020 00:29

Or he’s somewhere where the reception is shit. I get none at my pals house. I’m not in England so don’t know the tier rules, could he be in a mates garden round a fire pit having a few drinks, is that allowed.

Or he’s lost his phone. Left it in the car.

Why do you think he’s shagging someone. Are you dating exclusively, have you had that talk?

All sounds very bizarre. You sound like you have trust issues. Whether the are unfounded or not we will find out tomorrow when he resurfaces!

Butterer · 24/10/2020 00:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leaannb · 24/10/2020 00:35

@Elieza

Or he’s somewhere where the reception is shit. I get none at my pals house. I’m not in England so don’t know the tier rules, could he be in a mates garden round a fire pit having a few drinks, is that allowed.

Or he’s lost his phone. Left it in the car.

Why do you think he’s shagging someone. Are you dating exclusively, have you had that talk?

All sounds very bizarre. You sound like you have trust issues. Whether the are unfounded or not we will find out tomorrow when he resurfaces!

If she has trust issues with him when they are only talking that is a massive red flag and he needs to run far,far away
Original poster
Stressedmessdress · 24/10/2020 00:36

No we're not dating and I know that he is entitled to shag who he wants. I really like him though and the thought of him with someone else hurts a lot

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 24/10/2020 00:40

I think you need to dial this WAYYYY back. You have already given him too much power over you by allowing yourself to be upset like this.

SuperFairy · 24/10/2020 00:48

@Stressedmessdress

Don't want to out myself but he made a joke and didn't actually answer the question. He doesn't have any family nearby and who goes fishing at 10pm at night?
Night fishing is very very popular. I’d certainly not question that.

Quite why it’s popular is beyond me but who am I to query that.

Original poster
Stressedmessdress · 24/10/2020 00:50

He's a vegetarian so a sudden interest in fishing, nightime or otherwise, seems suspect but maybe!

OP posts:
SuperFairy · 24/10/2020 00:51

@Stressedmessdress

No we're not dating and I know that he is entitled to shag who he wants. I really like him though and the thought of him with someone else hurts a lot
You need to take a reality check. Neither of you are dating, FFS if you think that strongly bite the bullet and ask him out.

Why am I responding to this 😂

SuperFairy · 24/10/2020 00:53

@Stressedmessdress

He's a vegetarian so a sudden interest in fishing, nightime or otherwise, seems suspect but maybe!
99.9% of fishermen let their catch go, they don’t all sit at the riverbank weighing their haul and then selling it to the local fishmonger 😆
Original poster
Stressedmessdress · 24/10/2020 00:53

I can't right now for a couple of reasons. If anyone's got any other suggestions of what he could be doing right now that don't involve another woman, i'd love to hear!

OP posts:
Butterer · 24/10/2020 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Stressedmessdress · 24/10/2020 00:55

Arguably still not vegetarian friendly though, I've heard it traumatises the poor things

OP posts: