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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas - following the rules or not?

570 replies

BIWitched · 22/10/2020 20:42

From what we know right now (and accepting that things may change in the next few weeks) if you're in tier 2 or 3 re you going to obey the rules about not mixing households indoors?

YANBU - I will be ignoring the rules
YABU - it's my civic duty to obey the rules

OP posts:
Glitterbubbles · 23/10/2020 10:42

@DdraigGoch

How many of those of you calling people "selfish" live alone? Pretty much all of the ones on this thread saying that they'll stick rigidly to the rules over Christmas have also mentioned a partner and possibly kids too.

Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This pandemic has been fucking lonely. I'm not going to condone the 12-strong gatherings but if someone wants to let their single adult children have some company over Christmas, can you blame them?

Single adult children I can understand more. It's the multiple families mixing that I can't get on board with.
Bluesheep8 · 23/10/2020 10:48

Single adult children I can understand more. It's the multiple families mixing that I can't get on board with.

Same here

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 23/10/2020 10:52

[quote Theonewiththecandles]@Umbridge34 a childcare bubble is exactly that, for childcare you still shouldn't be socialising with them. All of you spending hours together obviously gives more chance for things to spread rather than you only seeing them at drop off/pick up. It's support bubbles that are different.

And yes we will be following the rules. My in laws don't seem to give a shit, but my mum and sister both work in a care home, and my mum has asthma and my sister's daughter (my niece) has a chest condition where she has been hospitalised during a normal cold before. Not worth risking it for their lives and the lives of their residents.[/quote]
Bubbles are essentially classed as one household. All the literature states no socialising outside of your household or bubble. You can have one childcare bubble and one support bubble.

OneInEight · 23/10/2020 10:53

Yes, following rules, but only because we are miserable sods who have a very quiet Christmas anyway.

CoralFish · 23/10/2020 11:03

@Splodgetastic

I will be following the rules but only because I’d lose my job if I didn’t.
It's a criminal offence, isn't it? So I think most people would be likely to lose their jobs.

Personally I feel going to a pub is much more risky than having parents round for dinner where we can easily socially distance, but I am not risking a criminal record.

HaggisTheGreat · 23/10/2020 11:10

Why does everyone think this will be only for one Christmas?

faelavie · 23/10/2020 11:12

Following the rules, it gives a great excuse to get out of all the forced visits with people I'm totally fine without seeing. I had a nice small Christmas day with my DH and DS last year on our own and it was one of the best Christmases ever. You can probably guess I'm not very sociable...

Also I totally agree with @Ffsffsffsffsffs

LittleGwyneth · 23/10/2020 11:15

@Bluesheep8

It's frustrating seeing people saying 'I'll be following the rules OF COURSE' when the rules mean they can spend Christmas with their kids and partner, so basically the same thing they'd be doing usually.

I'm not doing what I'd USUALLY be doing though...I'd USUALLY have my parents and other family to stay at various points over the Christmas and New year period aswell as us visiting other family. That's not happening because I'm obeying the law.

Okay, but surely you can see that Christmas with your partner and kids is still pretty merry, and a much lesser sacrifice than suggesting that 20-something single people should spend Christmas alone in their house shares?
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 23/10/2020 11:31

We don’t do mass visiting at Christmas anyway. We go to my parents every year so there would be 4 adults and 2 children. I don’t even know if that would be breaking the rules or not this year. Assuming we are not required to self-isolate we will go to them as normal but won’t be mixing with other families while we’re there.

Fluffybutter · 23/10/2020 11:36

@majesticallyawkward

You mean protecting themselves so they don’t catch covid and die ?

Or more realistically, possibly catch Covid and isolate for 2 weeks, feel ill and then get on with life. It's not a high mortality rate.

Oh right ,so that’s ok then ? Didn’t realise there was an exemption
Fluffybutter · 23/10/2020 11:41

@FeckArseDrinkGirls

It’s not being a cock to want to see your loved ones at Christmas when you’ve been working all through a pandemic 🙄
It’s being “a cock” when you claim people who have a very real chance of suffering complications from covid are “hiding” They’re not hiding away, they’re trying to limit the risk so they don’t die . I have been working all the way through outside of the home and if people want to see their family at Christmas then that’s fine but don’t belittle those that have been shielding. That’s what I had the issue with !
Ibiza1998 · 23/10/2020 11:43

@MorrisZapp moral behaviour isn't a criteria for accessing the NHS either.

Bluesheep8 · 23/10/2020 11:47

Okay, but surely you can see that Christmas with your partner and kids is still pretty merry, and a much lesser sacrifice than suggesting that 20-something single people should spend Christmas alone in their house shares?

@littlegwynneth Yes, yes I can see that. I do get what you're saying. We have recently had a major bereavement in our family and in all honesty, if that family member's spouse was due to spend the first Christmas since his death alone, then I would be forced to think again. They are in tier 1 so therefore can go to other family in tier 1 but if that weren't the case then yes, I'd have to think again although I know that they are following the rules as closely as I am. But thank you for making me stop and think.

LadyCatStark · 23/10/2020 11:48

I’m not the Covid police and totally understand why elderly people or young adults won’t want to be alone for Christmas but those saying they’ll be having 10-11 people from 3-4 households are ridiculous! There’s just no need. Those people who are having large groups from multiple households are creating the perfect conditions for Covid to spread. People will be sitting closely together for hours, sharing serving spoons and passing bowls across each other. All putting their hands in the Quality Street tub. Hugging and kissing etc etc. What will people do if they wake up on Christmas Day, having planned to go to family and having no Christmas food in the house? Will they cancel to be on the safe side or will they risk it and go? I suspect they’ll go...

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 23/10/2020 12:05

@Bluesheep8

Okay, but surely you can see that Christmas with your partner and kids is still pretty merry, and a much lesser sacrifice than suggesting that 20-something single people should spend Christmas alone in their house shares?

@littlegwynneth Yes, yes I can see that. I do get what you're saying. We have recently had a major bereavement in our family and in all honesty, if that family member's spouse was due to spend the first Christmas since his death alone, then I would be forced to think again. They are in tier 1 so therefore can go to other family in tier 1 but if that weren't the case then yes, I'd have to think again although I know that they are following the rules as closely as I am. But thank you for making me stop and think.

That single relative would just need to create a support bubble with whomever they wanted to spend Christmas with if their tier was raised.
DeliciouslyFemale · 23/10/2020 12:06

@LadyCatStark

I’m not the Covid police and totally understand why elderly people or young adults won’t want to be alone for Christmas but those saying they’ll be having 10-11 people from 3-4 households are ridiculous! There’s just no need. Those people who are having large groups from multiple households are creating the perfect conditions for Covid to spread. People will be sitting closely together for hours, sharing serving spoons and passing bowls across each other. All putting their hands in the Quality Street tub. Hugging and kissing etc etc. What will people do if they wake up on Christmas Day, having planned to go to family and having no Christmas food in the house? Will they cancel to be on the safe side or will they risk it and go? I suspect they’ll go...
Much as I think sone posters are taking the rules to extreme, by insisting that those that live alone should spend Christmas alone, even though they themselves have family to celebrate with, I do agree regarding the large multi house gatherings. Now I feel like a hypocrite, because both my boys will fe coming home, though they will quarantine beforehand.
Skysblue · 23/10/2020 12:13

Following rules as I don’t want to be part of the problem.

CrappleUmble · 23/10/2020 12:30

@HaggisTheGreat

Why does everyone think this will be only for one Christmas?
I think the same reason they think following whatever the rules are at this point in time will get us all out of this quicker. It's a less unpleasant thought than the alternative.
Bluesheep8 · 23/10/2020 12:43

That single relative would just need to create a support bubble with whomever they wanted to spend Christmas with if their tier was raised.

alltheusernames I will look into that, thank you.

Glitterbubbles · 23/10/2020 12:49

@LadyCatStark

I’m not the Covid police and totally understand why elderly people or young adults won’t want to be alone for Christmas but those saying they’ll be having 10-11 people from 3-4 households are ridiculous! There’s just no need. Those people who are having large groups from multiple households are creating the perfect conditions for Covid to spread. People will be sitting closely together for hours, sharing serving spoons and passing bowls across each other. All putting their hands in the Quality Street tub. Hugging and kissing etc etc. What will people do if they wake up on Christmas Day, having planned to go to family and having no Christmas food in the house? Will they cancel to be on the safe side or will they risk it and go? I suspect they’ll go...
Totally agree with this.
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 23/10/2020 12:55

I wonder if the government will propose another national lockdown for the first two weeks in January? Would account for increased movement over Christmas and new year (which unless they start setting up roadblocks and turning people back is going to happen to some degree anyway) but minimise the spread by essentially enforcing 2 weeks of self-isolation for most (recognising key workers etc will still need to go to work).

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 23/10/2020 13:24

@Bluesheep8

That single relative would just need to create a support bubble with whomever they wanted to spend Christmas with if their tier was raised.

alltheusernames I will look into that, thank you.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/health-52637354

Not a problem. I'd hate to think someone so vulnerable could be left alone over Christmas or at any time actually.

Gillian1980 · 23/10/2020 13:29

I will follow whatever the rules are at Christmas.

We’ve made provisional plans for 2 single relatives to join us (1 is in our household bubble already and 1 extra, so 2 households and total of 6 people).

But we’ve said that if things tighten up here then we will rearrange plans to be safe. They’re both late 70s and were previously shielding and understand the need to avoid unnecessary risk.

Acerred · 23/10/2020 13:32

@lughnasadh

I will be ignoring the rules
What is your justification for that?
kittensarecute · 23/10/2020 13:35

@GingerAndTheBiscuits

I wonder if the government will propose another national lockdown for the first two weeks in January? Would account for increased movement over Christmas and new year (which unless they start setting up roadblocks and turning people back is going to happen to some degree anyway) but minimise the spread by essentially enforcing 2 weeks of self-isolation for most (recognising key workers etc will still need to go to work).
No! No more lockdowns!