Christmas - following the rules or not?

[BIWitched]

From what we know right now (and accepting that things may change in the next few weeks) if you're in tier 2 or 3 re you going to obey the rules about not mixing households indoors?

YANBU - I will be ignoring the rules
YABU - it's my civic duty to obey the rules

So many judgy people on this thread! The problem is everyone has different priorities and the rules are the same for everyone so people have different lines where it becomes too much. There are those who prioritise schools, others their business, others a vulnerable child. For me, I don’t care if schools are shut or not, I’m not currently working (mat leave), husband works at home, don’t go into restaurants or shops, don’t have vulnerable family members. So yes I don’t really see the problem of having 7 or 8 of us for Christmas. I would think differently if I had children at school though and I wanted them to stay open!

I’ll be breaking the rules. My DM’s will be over anyway but she’s part of our childcare bubble. My partner lives in a different area which could well be in a different tier by Christmas. However, he’s working from home atm and can easily isolate for 10 days/ 2 weeks before coming to stay with us, not stop anywhere on the way and only come into contact with us. It barely raises the risk at all and tbh at this point I don’t give a fuck. I’m not spending the rest of my life unable to see the man I love.

Thanks for all the posts. I had meant to put voting on, but somehow turned it off instead

But from what I've read, if not an even split, there's probably a majority who will be breaking the rules. Which is kind of what I expected.

DC will be home for Christmas, which is against the rules as they're in different households - but we won't be seeing SIL or BIL as planned: SIL is in Wales so won't be allowed to travel and BIL is vulnerable from his own health point of view.

But given the way the number of cases is rising at the moment, who knows what we'll be expected to do by Christmas?

I'll be following the rules.

Not because I feel an overwhelming civic duty to do so, just because I fucking hate Christmas.

I deal with the aftermath of people transmitting and catching covid and regret features heavily in our conversations.

Call me judgey, but the end of northernsoul's post is exactly why I am following the rules.

Definitely not. There will be 7 or 8 of us Christmas day. We're all working in different jobs, most of us since May, with hundreds of people every week with varying degrees of ppe/social distancing measures including none.
So fuck listening to anymore stupid rules.
People who want to hide away because of genuine health issues or be in a privileged position to do so should let the rest of us that have been out in the cruel world for many months make our own choices.

My DH has mental health problems- long term. He has no family or friends other than me and our 2 young adult sons who have left home. He has been struggling with lockdown and so have I but we have absolutely stuck, more than, to the rules.
Both our sons live around 200 miles from us. We have seen them both, individually, just once for flying visits in august betweeen lockdowns. We last saw them for a decent visit on 28th December 2019.
They are in household bubbles with their partners and WFH. My youngest son has had a difficult year too having only just left university and has been unable to socialise and make you friends, or even meet his colleagues face to face since he started work and moved to a completely new area. He has spent a lot of time stuck in a single room in a shared house of people he doesn’t know and doesn’t see as they all do their own things.
I really want the government to put strict rules in now like wales and break the infection rate so that there can be some relaxation over Xmas.
I really think my husbands mental health will become even worse if he doesn’t get to see his sons.

Those that are voting as YABU can have very different circumstances to the YANBU- if you have a close network in local area that you saw a lot of over the relaxation period, if you don’t have mental health problems, if you are all living in family group. Dont judge others but what you can cope with.

Those that say it’s just one day- it’s not. There are 3 bank holidays over that period...it is only time my sons can take leave and come back to see us without using up more annual leave to stay a bit longer. Getting leave before or after Xmas is difficult due to deadlines around Xmas. So, if you argue that, you should argue that government completely cancels bank holidays over Xmas period as well.

I think this is a bit like legalisation of abortion- it is going to happen. You can either make it legal with sensible restrictions and save peoples health, or you can make it illegal and watch families suffer and people die. Sorry, crass analogy. But the voting here shows people aren’t going to not do it because it is illegal.
The government has to face that and put in rules to control how it will happen. I think that, like a lot of men, they aren’t doing any serious planning for Xmas this far out😂🤣

Those that are voting as YABU can have very different circumstances to the YANBU- if you have a close network in local area that you saw a lot of over the relaxation period

My circumstances are these:

DP and I are in tier 2 now and in local restrictions prior to that which means that we're not legally allowed to go into another house, whether that be in the local area or to my parents who are in tier 1. We will be sticking to the rules.

We are in the lowest tier and I’ll be following the rules .
We were meant to have dh’s family at Christmas so there would be 12 of us , that’s a massive pisstake right there if I was to say “to hell with it”
Problem I have is in-laws are saying “well we’re coming no matter what” hopefully that’s just a joke as I don’t want any crap from them . They’re tier 2

I'm in Tier 2. I'm going abroad. And will mix with other households there. Which I believe is not breaking any laws, but I am aware is not within the spirit of the rules.

scrouge I’m sorry to hear that your husband is struggling. Why do you think that putting in a strict lockdown now will mean that rules would be relaxed by Christmas though? Leicester has been in lockdown since August and infection rates are still not dramatically dropping. People did what they were told back in April on the basis that it would just be for a few weeks then life would get back to normal. People are increasingly realising that this isn’t going to go away and we can’t just put our lives on hold forever, we’ve already lost so much.

@Zenithbear

Definitely not. There will be 7 or 8 of us Christmas day. We're all working in different jobs, most of us since May, with hundreds of people every week with varying degrees of ppe/social distancing measures including none. So fuck listening to anymore stupid rules. People who want to hide away because of genuine health issues or be in a privileged position to do so should let the rest of us that have been out in the cruel world for many months make our own choices.

Fucking hell ,really? “Hiding away”? You mean protecting themselves so they don’t catch covid and die ? Don’t be such a cock .

It’s not being a cock to want to see your loved ones at Christmas when you’ve been working all through a pandemic 🙄

It's frustrating seeing people saying 'I'll be following the rules OF COURSE' when the rules mean they can spend Christmas with their kids and partner, so basically the same thing they'd be doing usually.

Are you really expecting people to tell their children in their twenties that they've got to stay in London or other big cities, alone, while all their housemates go home, because they're not allowed to come back for Christmas?

@FeckArseDrinkGirls

scrouge I’m sorry to hear that your husband is struggling. Why do you think that putting in a strict lockdown now will mean that rules would be relaxed by Christmas though? Leicester has been in lockdown since August and infection rates are still not dramatically dropping. People did what they were told back in April on the basis that it would just be for a few weeks then life would get back to normal. People are increasingly realising that this isn’t going to go away and we can’t just put our lives on hold forever, we’ve already lost so much.

I think the local lockdowns aren’t working. Too many people live, work and socialise across tiers, and too much confusion about what you can and can’t do. One set of rules across uk as per March. Yes, I know economically it is catastrophic but these local lockdowns aren’t working and just extending a slightly less painful economic crisis for longer time.

I also think people forget that lockdown was not to try and defeat the virus and make it go away. It was simply to spread the burden on NHS over longer period ( lower the peak) and reduce surplus deaths of too many people all needing critical care at same time.

We are following the rules at Christmas though we have not been given much choice

My family are on the other side of the country our flights there have already been cancelled I’m not risking driving at that time of year it would take 10 hours plus and my kids hate the car. My parents will fly here as they’re worried about the virus

In-laws who live 20 minutes away are in late 70s early 80s with health issues and currently won’t see us

SIL BIL and niece are supposed to be hosting which would be nine of us altogether I think they might still have dinner with the parents in law (if they willing to go) but they wouldn’t have us as well

Currently planning Marks & Spencer‘s Christmas dinner for the four of us and making the most of It

You mean protecting themselves so they don’t catch covid and die ?

Or more realistically, possibly catch Covid and isolate for 2 weeks, feel ill and then get on with life. It's not a high mortality rate.

@Angeldust747

We are in a childcare bubble with my in laws so will be spending Christmas with them, all within the rules. It will be a lot smaller than normal but at least we won't be completely alone. If it weren't for the bubble then I think we would end up breaking the rules

Well you are breaking the rules.

Childcare bubbles are to enable parents to go to work, not spend Christmas together.

@LittleGwyneth

It's frustrating seeing people saying 'I'll be following the rules OF COURSE' when the rules mean they can spend Christmas with their kids and partner, so basically the same thing they'd be doing usually.

Are you really expecting people to tell their children in their twenties that they've got to stay in London or other big cities, alone, while all their housemates go home, because they're not allowed to come back for Christmas?

Yes, this is an issue for young adults living a long way from their families. People forget many are in shared houses, some with people they don’t even now in houses of multiple occupancy. And there are all the students too who need to come home and they’re some of most likely ones to carry it. Agree, they are all in ht eight risk group...but I just don’t think there is any way to stop it happening- government needs to figure out how to control the impact of a big movement in population not simply ban it

We will be sticking to the rules. Both DP and I are frontline NHS. We are a massive risk to family members. It will just be Christmas for us this year.

It makes me extremely sad and angry to see the amount of people breaking the rules for the sake of one day here. Clapping for key workers clearly didn't mean a thing, now the novelty has worn off people are becoming selfish. It's really sad and demoralising.

Plus we are due to get married next summer and have been booked for almost 2 years. The more people break the rules, the longer this goes on for and the more people's lives are disrupted, and vulnerable people put at risk. Just so selfish.

It's frustrating seeing people saying 'I'll be following the rules OF COURSE' when the rules mean they can spend Christmas with their kids and partner, so basically the same thing they'd be doing usually.

I'm not doing what I'd USUALLY be doing though...I'd USUALLY have my parents and other family to stay at various points over the Christmas and New year period aswell as us visiting other family. That's not happening because I'm obeying the law.

I will be following the rules but only because I’d lose my job if I didn’t.

I have to say that I’m not even a Christian, but I do enjoy celebrating the middle of winter. I normally see about six other people on the day itself and we have a couple of them to stay (the other four come for drinks or we go to them).

How many of those of you calling people "selfish" live alone? Pretty much all of the ones on this thread saying that they'll stick rigidly to the rules over Christmas have also mentioned a partner and possibly kids too.

Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This pandemic has been fucking lonely. I'm not going to condone the 12-strong gatherings but if someone wants to let their single adult children have some company over Christmas, can you blame them?