“It’s me or the cat!”

[GonePenguin]

Ok, not quite that dramatic/black and white ultimatum.

Moved in with bf. The cat is an utter bastard. He was shy for a few weeks - got him to nuzzle me in the mornings (he wants feeding) - but now he stalks and ambushes me. He doesn’t do this to bf. It’s more awful the three or so times a day he gets his ‘crazy 10 minutes’. I walk into rooms and have to check under sofas and beds etc so I can at least prepare myself for him scrambling after me with his claws out.

I really hate the damn cat. It does nothing but take, take, take. He’s 3 and half Bengal. My bf is never home and barely pays it any attention, but claims he loves it because he was there for him during dark periods. This cat is an indoor cat. Bf asks me that I feed the cat...even if he’s at home too. Ummm, he managed before I came along. Further, I love dogs but don’t have one because I haven’t the time to take care of it...so why have I now got to take on a bastard cat? Bf says it’s more like doing him (bf) a favour.

I’ve said I won’t live somewhere I get attacked/have to be on edge. Bf says he’s just playing and it’s his breed. My feelings still stand. Bf obviously won’t train the cat to behave (he doesn’t even play with him)...I’ve taken to arming myself with a water spray, but I still feel a prisoner/hostage in my own home.

I’d feel bad for my bf if we got rid of the cat...but I also genuinely think it's unreasonable of him to have got the cat in the first place.

So:

YABU - suck it up.
YANBU - it goes.

[mrsmrt1981]

[quote Furries]@mrsmrt1981 - omg, I love your set-up. Your cats are very lucky to have you as their slave 💕🐾[/quote]
Thank you! ☺️
It was surprisingly easy to do. We just got some cheap shelving, brackets and carpet squares that we stuck on with double sided tape. 🐾

[BadlyDrawnSimpsonsCharacter]

"The cat is an utter bastard".
Yep, they are annoying evil little shits. But equally hilarious. Give it some treats and don't fuss it - let it come to you. You'll soon be firm friends. Or should that be "fur-m friends"...

[user1471538283]

He needs to go outside. If he had more stimulation he wouldn't be as aggressive. But also some cats aren't very friendly. They each have their own personalities. Our boy cat can be a bit of a terror and actively favours my DS. Our girl cat is a sweet little thing and very attached to me.

[AtrociousCircumstance]

The problem is your boyfriend.

[mbosnz]

It was the cat's home before it was yours, you are enroaching on its territory, not the other way around.

I feel for the cat, it's not been trained, is not being adequately stimulated, and is not liked by the person that is in its home all day.

If anyone ever said to me, 'it's the cat or me', they clearly wouldn't know me. Because they'd already know the answer!

[Yoffel]

@Zerrin13

I think you have 3 options here OP

1. You accept the cat as he is
2. You move out
3. You accept the cat as he is

Option 4: move out and take the cat with you.

[Skysblue]

The cat sees you as an intruder into its territory OP. Cats are very territorial, Bengals even more so.

You can’t really train a cat. You can teach it to recognise what you want, and if it likes you it might do it, but that is very different.

I would try a few weeks of trying to persuade it to like you. Most cats love the one who feeds it, so your bf is being quite smart trying to get you to be the feeder. Try giving it some tuna or ‘cat milk’ or other treat, see if that helps. If it decides that you have a use, it may stop being hprrible to you - cats are cynical like that.

That said, if you hate it, it can probably smell that in which case sucking up to it may fail. Worth a try tho. Also feliway etc. Before considering rehoming, have a chat worth a pet shop and a vet / google ideas.

Kindest choice would be to rehome if you can find a good home. Indoor cats need lots of stimulation, they’re basically wild creatures not adapted to being trapped inside.

[IncandescentSilver]

I just can't get over you shooti g the poor cat with a water pistol when it comes near you. No wonder it hates you! That's its home, you've moved in and now it gets shot with a water pistol when it tries to explore its own territory. And isn't the flooring soaking/in a mess?

I'd love to hear the boyfriend's side of this. He has been torn apart on here for welcoming someone into his home and for having a cat!

As mentioned above, getting the OP to feed the cat is actually encouraging positive interaction with it. Which is something the OP really needs to learn to do with animals. Since she can't work it out herself.