To not judge someone still living at home at 27

[Iftheclouds]

A work colleague still lives at home at 27. Another work colleague said that he finds it very odd that someone of this woman’s age will still be at home. Aibu to no judge her for living at home.

Given how bloody hard it is to buy a house, I don't blame her. I couldn't do it because my mum is nuts (I love her dearly) but if they're all happy then that's up to them. DH and I are 25 and have only just bought a house after saving for years relentlessly and we both have Master's degrees and graduate entry jobs.

My mum told me to go and buy myself a house at 28. Didn’t even think about leaving home for good before then. To be fair I had left home and moved with a BF for 7yrs but went back home

Seriously?
You are asking if you are being unreasonable to judge someone home situation?
Bizarre.
Nothing odd or strange about it.

I'd think your colleague is a bit of a prat to be honest!

I have a friend who is in there 30’s with a teenage child and still lives at home. She is now dating a man in his 30’s who also lives at home. The child is embarrassed she still lives at grannies and can’t have friends around. I think it’s a bit of a strange set up especially when she has a child. She only works 2 days a week as well so if she worked more she would be able to rent somewhere and live like a adult

It is a strange set up. I’d judge someone in that set up like the male colleague did tbh. I probably wouldn’t be friends with such a person as I’d feel they had no ambition. As for entering a relationship with them? That would be a NO!

It’s obviously not unreasonable to live and let live and not be judgemental. People can live where and with who they choose. There are a million reasons why she could be living at home.

My ex still lived at home when I met him, he was 25. He had moved out with a previous gf but went home again when they split up.

I've got a friend who is late 30s and moving out next month having inherited a 7 figure sum and bought a house outright

There may always be carer / disability reasons she can't move out? Either her or potentially one of her parents, you never really know someone's circumstances.

I guess my first response is a bit "" but once I get past the initial conditioned judgemental thinking I think it's fine.

It used to be common to live with parents until marriage (this was younger) living by yourself or with friends is a relatively new

I know people of all ages who live at home, my sister has on and off over the years, friends do I have work colleagues who do, I also know older parents who do so when they go travelling they have a built in housesitter.

DH can if he wants as we only have the one child and we want to go travelling ourselves when he finishes school

If everyone is happy I really don't see what their is to judge? sure if the parents want the kids out then that is one thing but if not why does it really matter? why do people have to move out?

If people in their later 20s and early 30s are living at home to save up for a house deposit, then well done to them, nothing worse moving out and renting and paying off someone else's mortgage for them, I think at least a third of young adults are in this position so quite common with house prices so ridiculously high.

I think it's weird to find it weird. I would be quite happy to conclude, if there was evidence of it, that someone was a sponge or whatever and taking advantage, but why not live with your parents if you get on? There could be a lot of advantages, financial, companionship, caregiving, etc.

It's pretty normal in a lot of cultures.

Really common in my circle of uni friends. Not so much my friends who went straight in to the working world. But I'd say out of my uni friends, a good 50-60% still live with parents now at age 27. Mainly because they've got jobs near their parents and buying is really hard. I don't but that is because I work in a city 2 hours ish from them.
No one I know of judges them. It is just the norm.
I can't believe a poster @SimplyPizza actually said they wouldn't be friends with someone who lives with their parents at 27. It is horribly judgemental actually. I am glad we aren't friends.

@Hidehi4

I have a friend who is in there 30’s with a teenage child and still lives at home. She is now dating a man in his 30’s who also lives at home. The child is embarrassed she still lives at grannies and can’t have friends around. I think it’s a bit of a strange set up especially when she has a child. She only works 2 days a week as well so if she worked more she would be able to rent somewhere and live like a adult

That is completely bizarre. More fool her parents for letting her live like a teenager in to her 30’s. As she only works two days, she’s clearly in no hurry to leave. The poor kid- understandable she’s embarrassed

If someone had a very well paid career then carer/support stuff quite likely.
My high paid short contracts friend in her 50's is living with her parents. She used to take on temporary flats near each contract for ease of travel, but live at home between them. Somewhere along the line she stopped getting a place to live near each new contract. Her mum was being worn to the bone by her dad's long slow decline into dementia.

Aside from either adult or parents/sibling possible disability support needs, that many people are only just getting by financially, so pooling resources allows everyone's world to continue.
Given the shitshow that's trashing many of us right now I should think it will become more common.

I think it is extremely unprofessional of him to gossip to you about his thoughts on another colleague's personal situation.

Hidehi4

I have a friend who is in there 30’s with a teenage child and still lives at home. She is now dating a man in his 30’s who also lives at home. The child is embarrassed she still lives at grannies and can’t have friends around. I think it’s a bit of a strange set up especially when she has a child. She only works 2 days a week as well so if she worked more she would be able to rent somewhere and live like a adult

The weirdness is that the child can't have friends round to her home because it's owned/leased by Granny, not her mum. Maybe I'm being a thick but why why ever not?

My brother is 33 & still lives at home. Its expensive to buy a home in London. However, I moved out just before my 21st and bought my first flat at 22. I was in a better position and I didn't get on with my mother.

If her parents don't mind th

Nope. It’s no-one else’s business. Some parents will kick their DCs out as soon as they reach 18, other parents support their DCs until they’re ready or able to leave home, be that 20, 30 or 40. What people choose to do in their family unit is up to them.

Totally normal these days.

Definitely wouldn't judge, I think any halfway intelligent person realises that renting is astronomical and buying is hard (especially alone) for young people.
I am saving pretty hard to help my own kids in future though, as while I dont mind if they live at home when they get to that age, I am sure they would rather have some independence. They are young now and sadly I think if they want to get onto the property ladder sometime in their twenties I'm going to need to offer some help.

My dp still lived at home until he got his own place at 38.

He had some very valid reasons why he didnt have his own place

YANBU and your colleague is being nosey and self-righteous. The only people who have a right to judge the situation are the woman herself and her parents (assuming that she's living with them). If she is not with a partner, and does not wish, or cannot afford, to live alone, that's up to her.

30 years ago it was probably a bit unusual but now and in the future i don’t think it’s strange at all - in fact, we’ve renovated our house with the full expectation of having adult children at home - I don’t thinking living at home means not living an adult life (in terms of looking after your own needs)

Many cultures have multi generational houses - I’m a bit envious

It is weird. It suggests you prioritise comfort over life experiences which you are perfectly entitled to. It definitely points to a lack of balls and lust for life though IMO