To not judge someone still living at home at 27

[Iftheclouds]

A work colleague still lives at home at 27. Another work colleague said that he finds it very odd that someone of this woman’s age will still be at home. Aibu to no judge her for living at home.

Aibu not to judge? "Yes you should be a lot more judgmental" - not a phrase you hear often!

Who bloody cares where a work colleague lives? Hardly even worth getting the judgy pants out for.

I in 4 people aged 25-34 live with their parents (1 in 5 women, 1 in 3 men).

It's not remotely odd.

Now whether it's a good idea in general is another discussion. I stayed at home until 25 and I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd be braver and gone off on my own earlier. I missed some opportunities that you only get at that age.

But there's pros and cons to every choice. if someone's happy, then no I don't judge.

I'm 41 with my own house, in around 4 years when ds is at uni, I will be selling my property and moving in with my dad. This will enable me to go travelling for part of the year, and company for my elderly dad who needs help with cooking etc, which quite frankly takes up half, if not more than half of my free time now anyway (I have local siblings which will need to step up but that's another story). It'll make all our lives easier, and when ds is back from uni he may find himself living with his nearly 50 year old mum and 80 year old grandfather! I don't think he'll mind at all.
Each to their own, whatever works for them.

My dd is 31 and lives with us. She has just saved a 10% deposit and will move when covid is more sorted. It's taken her a while as she needed a job with a higher income. She contributes financially and with housework, goes out with friends pre-covid and is very independant. Hope that's ok with all the judgy folk.

@SimplyPizza I’m 29 and still live at home.
I’m sorry my NHS salary and proximity to London mean I can’t afford to move out any time soon with a decent quality of life but okay thanks for assuming I have no ambition! So judgemental.
If I moved out I’d be spending my whole salary on renting a place that I just use to sleep what’s the point in that!! I’m out the house from 6am to 6pm every day.

It’s so hard to move out these days. Everything is so expensive. I wouldn’t say 27 is too bad these days.

Saying this I moved out of my mums at 19! I had to get out for my own well-being due to her temper! If I could have waited longer I would have. Went straight into private renting. Means I never had much spare money as rent is expensive where I live. Thankfully in a better situation now.

I also have a job which is in the highest demand right now in the whole world but
nO aMbiTiON.

I know people in their 20’s who have no intention of moving out, haven’t even thought of it.
And a friend of my DS is moving home after living with her BF for less than a year. She can’t stand how messy and lazy he is.

There are no rules

Who cares about this sort of stuff 🤷🏼‍♀️. Totally normal around here where a 1 bed flat starts at about £250K.

I didnt move out til 30

It was because my parents supported me through a business endeavour and until I could get myself in a position to buy. I did not have a partner to buy with, so it took a little longer. Housesharing is not the done thing around here, and very uncommon outside of uni students, and rent is oddly expensive in comparison to house prices (more so than the average I understand!). My parents had no problem with me staying. I had plenty of ambition and drive, for the person who had something to say about that.

Its more common than ever now, and the people who cast judgement on it are usually either immensely privileged or older and have not realised things have changed from the 80s/90s. I would say in my friendship circle 50% stayed at home til late 20s/earlier 30s. The ones who moved out earlier did it with a partner to buy, had difficult relationships with family or are still locked into renting because they are paying such high rent they can’t save for a mortgage.

I am over 50 and didn’t move out until I was 25, I like my parents, they had a huge house, I had l long term partner and he rented but in another part of the country. We saved and bought a house when we could both be in the same place.

My D.C. are at uni in student accommodation so my house is still their home, after they graduate they can still live here if that works for them. The price of a 1 bed flat in a reasonable place is almost £300k In our town.

1/4 people age 25-34 live with their parents, housing simply isn’t affordable in many areas, then you have to factor the difficulty of saving for a deposit while living in a rental.

After a year abroad, and then going to university in England, I moved back into my childhood bedroom and lived with my parents until I was 31. It was convenient for them because they had retired and wanted to travel, so they got a trustworthy house-sitter for free. It was convenient for me as I lived rent-free in a comfortable house while saving to buy a really nice first home. (In the end I bought a derelict dump, because I was able to continue living at home while I renovated it.) I contributed to the running costs of the household.

It never occurred to me to be embarrassed about it, though some of my colleagues clearly found it weird. My friends never cared one way or the other. I dated dh, too, in that time.

It's not where the person lives, but how independent they are that matters.

It's a bit strange to judge someone's living situation. Maybe they live at home as one of their parents needs help. Perhaps they are saving for a deposit whilst living there. It's also possible that they live pretty independently and are entirely happy with the arrangement because their parents are reasonable and they aren't treated as a child.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. How would it be ‘reasonable’ to pass judgement on someone for their own choices and lifestyle? Perhaps your colleague isn’t judging either; just making a passing comment.
People leave home at all sorts of ages, or stay there for all sorts of reasons. There aren’t any rules about this, unspoken or otherwise.

Your work colleague is being judgemental and unreasonable and also a busy body - what business is it of hers (or yours).

Really not unusual since house prices have skyrocketed. Is your colleague quite a bit older? I don't think that excuses the judgement but (s)he might have not known anyone first hand to be struggling with the cost of living now.

I don't think it's strange.

We live in Greater London and I expect our children will be living at home well into their late 20s. I'd rather support my children to establish their careers and save up whilst living at home, than to encourage them to move out just for the sake of it.

I have a friend late 30s who lives with her mum for a variety of reasons. I can't see her ever moving out now, especially as her mum gets older and possibly more in need of help etc
They do get on very well and are more like housemates than anything.
In the end the house will be hers anyway so she's not really losing out financially.

Good god no, I moved back to my parents as a single mother at the age of 24 after my relationship broke up, it meant my daughter had extra people around who loved her, at the time I didn’t have a well paid job, my daughter and I would have been living in poverty (pre working tax credit days) with my parents help I retrained and we both moved out when I turned 28. Over 20 years later I own my own home, I financially helped my daughter with a deposit for her first home. If I hadn’t moved back to my parents none of that would have happened.
Why would anybody judge others on their living arrangements. Bizarre.

Given how expensive moving out is its totally reasonable! And people who think it’s odd have obviously been dealt a good hand in life. My sister is 27 and live at home, purely because she’s been saving for a deposit. She’s now looking to move out but it’s not weird. I bought a home at 23 but that was due to my partners financial position being great. Otherwise I’d still be at home saving. People are so judgemental

It's very narrow minded to judge something that isn't harming anyone else. The statistics show that it isn't odd, or out of the ordinary. In previous generations, single people didn't leave home.

It's an eco way of living if you think about it. Ultimately it puts less pressure on outside services and if it's mutually agreed, it's better for mental health.

The people I've known who haven't moved out have been hard/long workers. It's made both practical and financial sense to still house share with Parents. If it is treated like a house share and not because the person doesn't want to do any housework. I don't see the issue at all.

No, op. Everyone is going to tell you you should judge her