Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

OP, unfortunately the world is full of assholes. DS12 has ASD and asthma, he can tolerate a mask for 10 minutes tops but he does try, we have an exempt card stating he has autism now just so people won’t berate a 12 year old for not wearing one, that’s what kind of sad state of affair the community is. Keep doing you and ignoring dicks like him. There’s one crazy guy that gets on the bus who freaks out if someone sits directly in front or behind him. The rules clearly state that you are not to sit next to someone unless they are from the same household or bubble. He actually starts screaming at people. I mean if your that concerned about It surely don’t get on public transport.

And as for the wankers on this thread, get a grip.

YANBU. No one who is exempt should be expected to explain to anyone else why they’re not wearing a mask. I absolutely think that masks are yet another stick for people who are bullying types to beat those who appear vulnerable over the head with. You can bet your life if you were a man who was bigger and scarier looking than him he’d have not said a word.

smokefire - so you can wear a mask, sometimes choose not to and then agressively go after someone for challenging you on it - wow! This is why there is hostility to people not wearing masks, the genuinely exempt seem to be massively outnumbered by those for whom not wearing a mask is a matter of preference albeit a preference informed by the fact that wearing a mask is unpleasant and difficult for some people.

What treatment are you receiving from the MH professional who diagnosed the PTSD and subsequent need for exemption? I would hope that they are working with you to help you develop strategies to manage your PTSD as mask wearing is going to be around for a fair while.

So writes someone who has not a fucking clue about just how fucked the CMHTs have been by lockdown. I was seeing a CPN (community psychiatric nurse) once every month and my psychiatrist once every two months. I've not seen either in person since March, and that includes the psychotic break that I had in April. I had phone consults, increased medication, and an open admission that most of the things that they would normally recommend weren't possible due to lockdown so....eh.

Last time I checked, MH services are slammed, most of the talking services/psychotherapy services in my area just aren't take referrals at all, and psychs/CPNs/CMHTs are dealing primarily with crisis patients. If you're functional enough, but can't cope with a mask in shops, you're not even at the bottom of their priority list.

Two more here. This shit is escalating.

www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/local-news/london-bridge-train-station-attack-19132824

news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-man-punched-in-face-after-removing-mask-to-speak-to-elderly-mother-on-tram-12108419?fbclid=IwAR3LbaVq5ypqAgd6y7_GNkX6XVzSPJP4XT4Rv2RxR0tELU_mtoNovKTY0Oo

How long is it going to be before (God forbid) we see a disability hate crime murder.

I’m really sorry that happened to you and well done for sticking up for yourself. You shouldn’t have to explain your reasons to total strangers, it’s absolutely none of their business.

But you could have walked away and not engaged with the bloke

Not long ago we had a thread on here about racism saying it absolutely has to be called out and i totally agree.

But why isnt it the same for ableism?

@lemonsandlimes123

fractional - not wearing a mask does the square root of fuck all in terms of protecting others!

What an odd response. Of course not wearing a mask doesn’t protect against spreading covid. What relevance does that have to whether people should be upset OP isn’t wearing a visor?

The man was awful and that was unacceptable behaviour on his part. But I do suspect more incidents like this will happen in general as the infection rate and deaths continue to rise. People are scared, angry and despairing.
Could you try a plastic visor? They are quite comfortable and would not affect you for asthma and hopefully not PTSD as it isn’t close across your face.

Just ignore them OP, you are exempt, it's nothing to do with anyone else you don't owe anyone an explanation. Some people just like to be self righteous.

Every single one of these threads I read it's always a lone woman/women who have been harassed for not wearing a mask, usually by a man. My over 6ft dad (looks pretty tough) hasn't worn a mask since all this started and has never once been questioned by anyone. Funny that.

@lemonsandlimes123 - do you also leave notes on someone's car if you think they look too healthy to be parking in a disabled spot?

I ask because you clearly have a genuinely terrible understanding of how disability works.

@justanotherneighinparadise

Visor? Scarf up over your mouth. Just look like you e made some sort of effort and most people will leave you alone.

This.

I forgot a mask, and had to pull my top uo around my nose and mouth.

People are liable to give grief to non face- coverers, Can't be dealing with it.

Most people I see are not wearing masks properly. I wonder how many disposable masks are actually disposed. I walked behind a man going into supermarket recently and he pulled pulled out a disposable mask from his back pocket. There were about 3 masks that emerged from his back pocket along with a lot of dirt ....they clearly had seen better days. Then you see people constantly touching the first of the mask.

Some experts argue a face shield that goes below the chin is more effective than badly worn inadequate masks.

OP - I have asthma and can relate. If I were you I would try a face shield but understand if that triggers PTSD. Take care and try not to let them get to you.

It is an issue as people are naturally suspicious when people are able to designate themselves as exempt from the guidance/law without any need for any kind of evidence/corroboration.

Take it up with the guidance around masks. Evidence is not required for people who are exempt.

namechange - last time i checked you need a blue badge for a disabled parking space. Or do you think that anyone should be able to self define as disabled and park in the spaced?

Next time switch your video on and ask him to repeat himself so you can pass it onto the police. That should shut him up.

Everyone suggesting a visor should read the government guidance on exemptions. If you are exempt you do not need to wear a visor, a lanyard or show a card to prove you are exempt. There is no “proof” of exemption, it’s based on trust as it should be.

@lemonsandlimes123

namechange - last time i checked you need a blue badge for a disabled parking space. Or do you think that anyone should be able to self define as disabled and park in the spaced?

Not the same at all.

There are dickheads who don't want to (you're not the boss of me!) but the vast majority of non mask wearers have genuine reasons. Please be kind, please think before you berate someone, please just put yourself in the other person's shoes...

with all due respect OP, language like this then expecting people to treat you with kindness, kinda works both ways.

Enjoy your evening.

I am so surprised that OP has managed to access a MH professional who has advised she is exempt due to her PTSD. Of course it may be that she hasn't and has a previous diagnosis of PTSD that she has decided makes her exempt from mask wearing

Ah so the previous post was passive aggressive.

So 2020 folks, rape victims (who may well have been diagnosed with PTSD in the past) can get to fuck if they can’t get an up to date diagnosis from our practically non existent MH services.

Do you think she’s making it up that she is triggered by wearing a mask or something? Or do you accept she isn’t making it up but not care? I really don’t get this line of thought at all.

So glad my ds is only 7. He's autistic and non verbal and when I attempted to pop a mask on him, he wondered what the hell i was playing at and ripped it off. So I'm really pleased it's not 'everyone or no one!'

purpledaisies - i was responding to namechange i was not drawing an equivalence more pointing out that there isn't one!

OP, lots of people are really genuinely suffering because of covid and lockdown. I get pissed off when I see people not wearing masks tbh. I'd never say anything or stare passive aggressively. Wear a lanyard.