Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

I think there's a degree of flexibility about masks. If you have asthma, you might be able to wear one most of the time, but not at times when you're feeling particularly wheezy.

The comparisons with gas masks/oxygen masks are spurious due to the risk v discomfort ratio being very different. I'm sure we would all mostly agree that wearing a crash helmet on a motorbike is a good idea, but not every time you step off a curb, despite the fact that both have a risk of head injury.

@9ofpentangles

You're quite naive if you think shops aren't already planning for the Christmas rush. I mean, come on. They receive stock for Christmas in August, it isn't a random afterthought they magically appear up with once December hits.

The queues will be back. Difference is, this time, they can let more people in due to the implementation of screens, hand sanitizer and a strict cleaning schedule all staff adhere to. They also utilise more night shift working to make shifts during the day safer.

They're on it. They're doing their bit. It just would be fabulous if people could do their bit. You know, keep shopping trips to once a week, wear a face covering to protect others, socially distance and use hand sanitizer upon entry.

This whole going to the shop 5 times a week, not wearing a mask, not socially distancing malarkey is just tragic. It's as if people are determined to catch Covid.

@stretchedmarks

Maria, perhaps a delivery would best be suitable, then. If you're vulnerable I can't see why you'd want to go out shopping every day?

Like I said earlier in the thread, online deliveries are full of problems too. When that comes with damaged or missing items, I’ll still need to venture out to replace them because I can’t eat refunds and I can’t wipe my arse with lettuce.

I don’t particularly want to go shopping every day or multiple times a week but when there’s no solution and I need to eat and get toiletries, that’s what I’ll have to do.

To all the people who “can’t” wear masks, what would happen if you were on a plane and the oxygen system failed and the masks dropped to keep you alive?

I would die. I can't wear a mask. Even when I was in hospital following the massive asthma attack that was triggered by wearing a mask many years ago - I couldn't wear an oxygen mask and had to have it delivered to me through tubes up my nose.

So for all those saying that I, and many others like me, can wear a mask if we "chose" to....well, no. I, we, would die.

Maria, shortages really shouldn't be an issue anymore. They've worked hard with suppliers to increase supply, and most places are stockpiling in preparation for Christmas. I also don't think damages are particularly common. I've certainly not had many at all in the years I've used these services. So, really, you needing to go out should be a very rare occurance?

And, besides, if you literally only need to pop into a shop to grab loo roll, for example, a mask on for all of 2 minutes surely is do-able? No one is asking you to keep it on for hours. It's just the worthless retail staff doing that for pennies an hour, isn't it?

I really feel bloody awful for them.

I think the trouble is many people claim to be exempt but they really aren’t, they’re just saying it because they either cba wearing a mask or don’t like wearing them. My children’s school implemented a mask rule for parents doing the drop off and pick up, there’s at least 15 parents who don’t wear one every time I see them. They don’t wear one or attempt to cover their mouths with a scarf or anything. They’re not all exempt, I just refuse to believe it. I’d love to tell them to wear one but I’m not the police so I just stay away from them. Does worry me having my children near their children though when their parents clearly have zero issue flouting the rules.

I’d invest in a badge or something that says you’re exempt or perhaps a visor could work.

@stretchedmarks I have worked in a supermarket for 15 years. In our chain, the stock comes in early October but, by far, not all of it. We have a very small warehouse and don't have rhe storage and, for now, the stock doesn't turnover enough.

I have been a shop floor rep for 2 years so the gobetween between staff and management, who are currently running around like headless chickens trying to keep up with government change. I have repeatedly referred shop floor complaints back up about shop numbers as people stacking shelves are feeling very unsafe but there is radio silence. He shops are definitely not on it

All of the people who are loving the masks; when this is all over, will you keep wearing your magic mask? After all, the common cold can be awful for many people, and as we know many 1000s die of bog standard flu every single year.

Well i, for one, hope that people who have sniffles will consider wearing a mask when out and about. I hope that people who have flu or have been around people with flu will either stay at home or definitely wear a mask. And i hope to freaking all higher powers that people continue to wash their hands frequently.

Also I am getting an increasing number of customer complaints about socisl distancing, too.

And, yes, most shelf stackers are Twilight or night shift but we still need a few in the day for fast selling lines like bread and milk - especially in the run up to Christmas

9pentangles, it's ultimately up to your chain to implement measures that keep staff safe. In ours we have reinstated queuing and other than those coming in without masks, which staff find particularly upsetting, to be frank, they're happy with the rest of the measures.

Their main worries are having to isolate. Some of them are having to isolate for the third time in as many months. It's absolutely decimating their income and they have genuine worries on how they can afford Christmas. Some of them are having to seek other employment alongside their job because they simply cannot make ends meet, due to this.

People don't seem to much care for that, though.

Don't I know it. Queuing hasn't been reimplemented yet and, with the current management, I can't see it happening :(

@Noitjustwontdo the issue with that is those people would buy a badge and say that they're exempt because they have a right to breathe in O2 and not CO2.

Really, exemptions should only be given by a GP looking at your medical history and it be officiated via a card (no different to carrying ID to buy alcohol). That would stop all the bullshit quite quickly. Being able to buy things online will never work.

Yes, something official would massively help

"To all the people who “can’t” wear masks, what would happen if you were on a plane and the oxygen system failed and the masks dropped to keep you alive?"

Ds could never go on a plane without being sedated. He cover never wear any sort of medical mask without being sedated just as he would need sedating for the vast majority of medical procedures.

Spikey, my family member is the same. He just doesn't go into shops where there's an increased risk of contracting Covid. He would never be going on holiday to begin with, either. The risk to him and others far outweighs any "reward".

To all the people who “can’t” wear masks, what would happen if you were on a plane and the oxygen system failed and the masks dropped to keep you alive?

Like SecretSpAD I would also die. I avoid travelling by plane, I haven't in years for exactly that reason, the last time the oxygen masks did come down, and I had to accept that was it for me, I cannot wear a mask even to save my life.
But that's the bitter irony isn't it? Call a spade a spade, I am so broken and damaged from PTSD that I cannot overcome it even if the alternative is death. I still have intrusive thoughts and night terrors about that plane flight.

As I have mentioned previously on this thread, I had to give up my career, my hobbies and more, greatly restrict what I wear (no sunglasses, no hats, no high necks, no scarves, no crew necks, collars of all coats sewn back so they don't accidentally brush my neck, hair v short) and adjust many other things in my life. That's the price of living with PTSD, I have often wondered if it's worth it, but it is, and I will keep on.

I've had twenty years of every kind of therapy under the sun, and the end result was that I was at peace and able to live a happy, if not "normal" life. Covid has changed that, as it has for a lot of people.

Where I live (not UK) there is no online shopping, no click and collect, no community volunteers, nobody to shop for me, no other option but going to the supermarket, plus I have my housebound elderly neighbour's shopping to do, the alternative is that we both starve. I limit how often I have to go and do a big lot of shopping, but that means being harassed about "hoarding" too.

Covid is awful for everyone.

All this "What would you do bollocks" from idiots thinking they 'can catch people out'. Have they never encountered disability.

[quote stretchedmarks]@Noitjustwontdo the issue with that is those people would buy a badge and say that they're exempt because they have a right to breathe in O2 and not CO2.

Really, exemptions should only be given by a GP looking at your medical history and it be officiated via a card (no different to carrying ID to buy alcohol). That would stop all the bullshit quite quickly. Being able to buy things online will never work.[/quote]
Let's pretend that people can agree that some people with a medical condition can wear a mask, while others with the same condition cannot. How will a GP know by looking at a patient's records whether they can wear a mask? If you want an exemption system that makes any sense, then every single person claiming exemption would need to be assessed by the appropriate clinician - not necessarily a GP. Given that people cannot be seen for serious illness at present, can you really see this happening?

Yes, something official would massively help

Unfortnately, it doesn't seem to. DH got a dctors letter written the first day of mandatory masks (had to pay 50 quid for it though but thought it would help a lot) and when some radomer started with him (layard also visible) he actually offered to let them read the letter. And all he got was 'well if you cannot wear one, you should stay in instead of being selfish'. So they acknowledged exemption, but still had an issue.He wasn't even out shopping or anything, not that that should matter..he was picking up medication at the chemist.

It might help sometimes, however, there are some people who seem intent on being dickheads tbh.

Might stop the majority..that was the only time he tried to use the letter he had just been given, and found it to be totally useless in getting people to understand. The 'rules' are quite weird though and encourage people ignoring the exemption part, as its well known that places 'cannot ask if you say you are exempt'..not sure what the answer is mind, but thats a dodgy way to do it. So I can see why some do push and push, even with proof infront of them.

A blue badge type scheme would help in a lot of cases, but as with the current one, a lot will assume that you are faking to get 'a better parking spot' (or in this instance get out of wearing a mask) as seems to happen a lot too. Ditto disability benefits, most of those are apparently faking. Sad state of affaird really, even before this

Just seems to be yet another thing thats not been thought through at all by those in charge. Like the 14 day isolation, potentially repeated a few times, when many cannot afford to take even a day off, nevermind a fortnight. No thought, at all, for people who are not them. Meanwhile, they break the rules themselves continuously it seems!

@Spikeyball

All this "What would you do bollocks" from idiots thinking they 'can catch people out'. Have they never encountered disability.

If you had any condition genuinely preventing you from wearing a mask, when in the middle of a pandemic where victims literally shock to death, surely you would be the first to encourage a way for as many people as possible, who CAN wear a mask, to actually wear it?

If you find a mask triggering, surely the idea of not getting enough oxygen and being unable to breath without help will not be that appealing?

This bit

there are some people who seem intent on being dickheads tbh.

I don't want to be misconstrued as me calling anyone concerned about non mask wearers as dickheads mind. Just incase it came across that way. I mean a very specific type, who will march up into someones 2m distancing to shout at them, or just have a horrific attitude when 'challenging'.

TeamLucille I will tell all that to ds who ihas the understanding of a 1 year old and has idea why his entire world has changed and see what he says.

I can also ask him the ventilator question if you want?

@turnitonagain

What some people seem to fail to understand is that people like myself, who are unable to wear masks, are very, very careful about SD, hand washing etc. We don't want to catch CV or anything else any more than anybody else does!

Unfortunately no matter how much you wash your hands, nearly all COVID transmission is from speaking to an infected person indoors without a mask.

Your reasons not to wear a mask are valid but given you have physical and mental health issues, plus contact with elderly, you should really not be in the shops at all. People are allowed to make nasty comments whether or not it’s the right or kind thing to do.

Switch to online shopping or click and collect. Because I’m pretty sure the bloke who was tutting at Lidl isn’t on MN reading this and deciding to change his behaviour.

It is not legal to try and encourage other people to verbally abuse people who don't wear masks in supermarkets or other shops and indoor spaces - a vanishingly small number of people if my area and supermarkets are anything to go by - and it is a criminal offence to harass anyone: www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/stalking-and-harassment Anyone visiting a supermarket will know they make regular announcements that not all disabilities are visible to protect disabled people from harassment from people like the poster who says: "People are allowed to make nasty comments whether or not it's the right or kind thing to do". Cowards all, and hopefully they will end up on the wrong end of a legal action.

If you’re still reading OP you are completely ok, what you did is reasonable. Ignore the stroppy guy and idiots like him. I’m sorry you have had a rough time. Exemptions are there for a reason, and you have a reason. That’s plenty good enough for me (for what it’s worth).

Are you generally in favour of banning the disabled from shops or just certain groups of them?

BamboozledandBefuddled, i could ask the same question of you. As I have said all the way through this thread, when there are too many people not wearing masks in a shop (or other venue), other disabled people ARE effectively banned from those shops, because the risk is too great.

I am getting very tired of the grandstanding about abelism on this thread. Disabled people lose out either way. I wish some of you would bloody acknowledge that.