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Original poster

Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

977 replies

8catsaremycoven · 21/10/2020 20:24

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Suzi888 · 22/10/2020 04:14

Ps
Your mask is to protect you not those around you.
I personally know lots of people not washing masks, fiddling around with them when they’re on, pulling them down to talk, made of the most flimsy material imaginable etc. Fingering said mask, removing it between shops and then, gulp, touching produce. If you can exhale in front of a mirror ana fog the mirror your mask is crap anyway!
For those having a meltdown about non mask wearers, have a word with yourself and worry about YOU not others.

lovelemoncurd · 22/10/2020 04:16

And this is why I don't shop in Lidl. He should have kept his views to himself. You should wear a lanyard and not chase people down to confront them especially when the aim is to reduce contact. More so for you due to lack of mask.

turnitonagain · 22/10/2020 04:22

@EarlLeighIndamornin

These threads always are me raise an eyebrow.

I live in New York, work in retail myself and, funnily enough, visit a supermarket now and then to buy food.

I think I may have TWICE seen someone unmasked.

Maybe we have no-one with asthma in NY, or and unseen disability, or PTSD or any other reason for not wearing a mask? Hmm Confused

I live in Asia and it’s the same here. I haven’t seen anyone in a shop without a mask since February except for small children, and they usually have a visor hat on.

If you’re asthmatic and have PTSD then being out and about increasing the risk of contracting COVID is dangerous for you. If people have a medical reason not to wear a mask they should use online shopping or have a friend or relative who can wear one do their shopping for them.

Certainly speaking to a stranger while unmasked potentially further exposing yourself to the virus is a bad idea.

2020Me · 22/10/2020 04:25

I’m in the USA too and asthmatic (quite bad asthma) and this is honestly the first time I’ve heard of an exemption for asthma even being a thing! I’ve had to trial a few masks of various thickness/materials but where there’s a genuine will, there’s a way IMO. Mask wearing is shit for everyone at first but you do get used to it

lovelemoncurd · 22/10/2020 04:25

I'm unclear with the asthma thing. Have those with asthma tried putting a mask on then taking your oxygen saturation reading. It doesn't lower it at all. That might help you see that masks don't affect your ability to inhale. I know there were other reasons in this ops case.

Suzi888 · 22/10/2020 04:48

@2020Me it’s not her asthma it’s because she was suffocated and raped. It’s PTSD.

turnitonagain · 22/10/2020 04:57

I'm shopping for elderly grandparents (DGM 100) and parents.

You really should not be going out without a mask and then interacting with elderly!

I have sympathy for your situation but it all sounds very unsafe.

Onpause · 22/10/2020 05:04

This is why I've left the house 4-5 times since March. I'm autistic (sensory needs) with PTSD and I can't face the anxiety of having people shouting at me, the stress is too much. Thankfully I don't work and have a carer.

Fgs1 · 22/10/2020 05:20

[quote Suzi888]@2020Me it’s not her asthma it’s because she was suffocated and raped. It’s PTSD.[/quote]
In her OP she states I am exempt because I asthmatic and later repeats that in other posts. The PTSD was added on as an afterthought.

I wonder how all the health workers cope wearing masks all day. What about in China or the many other countries where it’s compulsory.

About wearing a lanyard it’s just to signal there is a genuine reason and you’re not like the lads I overheard on the train “just tell them we’re exempt hahaha” not that anyone asked.

FatimaMunchy · 22/10/2020 05:53

Wearing a mask as a patient in hospital is relatively easy because a lot of the time is spent sitting down or stationary and you can adjust your breathing. I have had to use my inhaler during a 2 hour visit though.
There are notices up in the waiting room asking people to be kind if someone isn't wearing a mask and to accept that they have a good reason.

madcatladyforever · 22/10/2020 06:27

A lot of people are scared and they should be coronavirus can be fatal. Nobody wants to die.
People have inconvenienced themselves being locked up for months on end, lost their businesses, lost their jobs, their homes and have had to wear masks everywhere they go for many months and get infuriated by others who don't seem to be making an effort, you can't blame them. Sometimes when you have been through that you just don't want to listen to peoples excuses.
Its been the worst thing the country has experienced for decades and nobody knows when it will end.
I was in Lyme Regis at the weekend, driving through to someone else, there were hundreds of people crowding the town and hardly any of them were wearing a mask because being by the sea is a magical thing that kills coronavirus. I think I know where the next outbreak will be because it's been like that the whole summer.
Here in the NHS people come into th hospital wearing masks inside out, upside down, on their forehead, it's like trying to put a mask on Mr potato head Smile

madcatladyforever · 22/10/2020 06:30

I wonder how all the health workers cope wearing masks all day. What about in China or the many other countries where it’s compulsory.

After months on end you no longer notice you are wearing one. I came home in a mask once and only noticed I had it on when I sat down to eat dinner.

Suzi888 · 22/10/2020 06:30

@Fgs1
I don’t think rape and suffocation was added on as an afterthought at all. You are just referring to the title of her thread... Hmm

“I wonder how all the health workers cope wearing masks all day. OP isn’t a health worker, so I wonder why you would mention that.
What about in China or the many other countries where it’s compulsory.” But it’s not compulsory in the U.K (or other parts of the world) if there’s a genuine reason, whether it’s psychological or physical. Take Sweden for example.

Sockwomble · 22/10/2020 06:39

"What about in China or the many other countries where it’s compulsory."

Only in countries with the most shit human rights are there no exemptions but you can always go and live in one of them if you prefer

ArranBound · 22/10/2020 06:56

Well done on standing up for yourself, OP. This is the kind of abuse people with hidden disabilities face every day, on Covid related issues or not. Its totally unacceptable.

Sockwomble · 22/10/2020 07:00

"you can't blame them. Sometimes when you have been through that you just don't want to listen to peoples excuses."

If you can't contain yourself enough to stop yourself being abusive you shouldn't be out unsupervised.

Reedwarbler · 22/10/2020 07:32

@PanamaPattie how exactly does face recognition software work if you are wearing a mask? Or did you just make this up?

Reedwarbler · 22/10/2020 07:40

The world has officially gone mad then!

Fgs1 · 22/10/2020 07:45

I don’t think anybody is condoning abuse. The question in the OP was about if she is unreasonable in not wearing a mask due to her asthma. Anyway the man made a comment which she got upset about and felt the need to trail after him mask less and argue with him and then expect us to get the violins out which surprisingly so many did

dontdisturbmenow · 22/10/2020 07:47

I assume that people not wearing masks have a good reason for it but yesterday one really got me mad. I was queuing at a check out (not supermarket and start of queue quite far off the tills) and this guy comes close to me trying to get in front. I explained the queue. Instead of going behind me (oy be queuing) he stands right next to me, under 1m without a mask. I ended up having to move away so that he looked like he was the one next in the queue. Had to race when the till got free.

I wanted to scream that not wearing a mask was one thing but at least have the respect to stay 2m or more away from people.

Fgs1 · 22/10/2020 07:49

[quote Suzi888]@Fgs1
I don’t think rape and suffocation was added on as an afterthought at all. You are just referring to the title of her thread... Hmm

“I wonder how all the health workers cope wearing masks all day. OP isn’t a health worker, so I wonder why you would mention that.
What about in China or the many other countries where it’s compulsory.” But it’s not compulsory in the U.K (or other parts of the world) if there’s a genuine reason, whether it’s psychological or physical. Take Sweden for example.[/quote]
Re-read her op.

Janevaljane · 22/10/2020 07:49

Dd has very severe asthma and wears a mask because she would rather not get or spread Covid. She finds the disposable masks much easier to breathe than some of the fabric masks.

ikeptgoing · 22/10/2020 07:50

I agree with a medical PP who said that there are very few asthmatics who cannot wear a mask as it doesn't reduce your oxygen generally and be assured all their HCPs including asthmatics aren't fainting- they wear masks for 8-12 hour shifts not a couple of hours in a shop.
it would only be very severe asthmatics on oxygen who would have problems. I am a severe asthmatic sometimes on oxygen and I wear a mask in shop and get round quickly or do online shopping.

The PTSD reason understand, but I wouldn't be challenging someone back who said where's your mask? . OP should have ignored him but let's not find reasons not to comply where other countries all seem to manage it without people dropping into respiratory failure in supermarkets and you don't see people claiming emotional distress

I also agree with this PP

If you’re asthmatic and have PTSD then being out and about increasing the risk of contracting COVID is dangerous for you. If people have a medical reason not to wear a mask they should use online shopping or have a friend or relative who can wear one do their shopping for them.

Certainly speaking to a stranger while unmasked potentially further exposing yourself to the virus is a bad idea.

'I am exempt to wear a mask' is not a badge to want, wear one every time you can. People are dying, the statistics you don't see are those who are left more disabled due to catching it, I've been in and out of hospital since with heart and respiratory damage (which we hope is easing as post viral), leaving my children upset and scared their mum will die.

So, I'm just mentioning that in your distress OP that he was impolite snd unnecessary, as he didn't know your reasons, you also don't know his reasons and maybe he was equally or more upset too - watching someone die or nearly die of coronavirus being unable to help has a level of emotional trauma around it too.

I wish everybody would be more understanding of each other and stop trying to be 'right' instead of showing empathy.

PanamaPattie · 22/10/2020 07:52

@Reedwarbler - I know! I didn’t believe it myself. I read it somewhere and did some research. Madness indeed.

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