Who spends an hour having a poo?

[Beaverdam100]

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

Bloke here mid 50s. My wife is in a right strop because apparently she can’t concentrate on reading her Kindle due to my constant giggling at this thread!

It’s all true - my dad always took forever on the bog, and always took a paper in with him (which he read whilst rubbing his nose furiously for some reason).

I’m the same, my wife often texts me after about 40 minutes on the crapper to hurry the fuck up. Bit harsh I always feel.

It’s great now we have smartphones, I can while away an hour or so quite happily. Always factor in a 25-30 minute dump at work too (when I used to go into the office pre COVID). In the old days I used to keep magazines in my desk drawer which I then went to great effort to smuggle into the loo under my shirt and tie. In the 80’s / 90’s I fell asleep on the loo at work a few times.

Generally get pins and needles / dead legs from sitting there so long, and have to try and hide the limp walking back through the office. Worst was when I was in there so long when I stood up to wipe my legs had completely gone to sleep and wouldn’t support me - I toppled forward and head butted the door. Left a big red mark too, had to think of an excuse for it as I shuffled painfully back to my desk.

unless you have a medical need it's pathetic

This whole post exchange is bizarre to me. I’m male and had no idea that this was a thing. Certainly not me. Who would spend any more time than the absolute minimum doing this necessity. Ps I don’t wee on the seat, leave the seat up, break wind for a joke or any other ‘man’ thing. Again. Weird

On a related note, my DP goes every day at the same time, after breakfast, regardless of what or how much he has eaten. I go morning or evening or both, or any time of day the urge appears. How do men poo with such regularity?

Your husband sounds exactly like me - I usually take my Kindle to the toilet and spend a long time in there; nothing worse than forcing a poo out quickly!

I just asked my dh who immediately countered with well why do you spend so long in the bath?

Just needed loo 2 mins after DSD went in. I swear I almost wet myself. As I was waiting, was more aware of time. 25 mins. Shouted after 10 mins asking for her to hurry up as was really desperate!

Shot in when she finally came out and was like turning a hose on. Came out and knocked on her to ask WTF she had been doing for that long. 'Oh sorry, forgot you were waiting. I was on instagram'

Lovely. While she knew I was waiting too

My sister does this, no phone, she just struggles, as a lot of females do after menopause. My friend says shes the same.

@Barney60

My sister does this, no phone, she just struggles, as a lot of females do after menopause. My friend says shes the same.

Hormones can affect the way the gut works as can all sorts of other things emotional state etc, gut issues can be severely debilitating those lucky folks who are able to be matter of fact Bright and breezy in and out of the toilet in seconds.... well they are lucky!

No one can disturb you when you go to the toilet.

Hmm. Wish someone would tell my DC this

Dd2 aged 6. Especially if it's 10 mins after lights out & she's secretly snuck a book into the bathroom earlier.

I always thought that men went to the khazi as soon as they get the first 'stirrings' in the bowel whilst women don't go until they're practically touching cloth (because they are so bloody busy with other things to go any sooner)

I reckon there’s something in this.

🤣😆 amazing thread. Has cheered me up after a crappy day.
I’d get a new loo. One with an automatic flush and seat that tips you off after 10 mins max btw! 😂 💩

My partner . He doesn’t have any medical issues at all but when I asked him why does he take so long he said that’s it’s bad to push or strain and that he just sits in his phone and lets gravity take its course... which takes a while when you aren’t using ur bowel muscles to help ur sh*t along. We are moving to a new house with 2 bathrooms and I can’t wait

Oh and his legs always go dead so he has to lie down for 5 mins after

@HereWeAre20 "he has to lie down for 5 mins after" Ha ha ha, poor thing, it must be exhausting!

This thread has given me a much needed laugh.

@Defenbaker he’s the life of it

Man thing my partner does it too so annoying

My DH takes ages on the loo, he also takes incredibly long baths. He reads in both cases and I suspect he’s hiding from family life as well. 🤣
I’ve always found it mystifying- I sometimes hide from my family too, but never in the loo!

Omg check his bum to see if finished, never not ever nooo. I understand that the nerves can stop telling you that you need to go but come on, some things are private. I had a friend who used to put showers head in his bum to relax it enough to go. If you can visit loo and just get it out, good for you. If you can't it can be disastrous and very tiring i need to know where loos are at all times. I'm either one or other. Never under estimate the luxury of pooling with ease.

Ooops showerhead on his bum that should be, not in, that would be bad.

I always thought that men went to the khazi as soon as they get the first 'stirrings' in the bowel whilst women don't go until they're practically touching cloth (because they are so bloody busy with other things to go any sooner).

😂😂😂😂that's certainly how it goes in this house!

My one doesn't do a courtesy flush - just flushes at the very end. So basically marinating in the guff for up to an hour - sometimes the stench permeates onto the landing. Drives me fucking mad!!!

My husband too - He just goes for some alone time I think haha!! He also uses a whole toilet roll per shit.

@user1471423151 Thank you for the honest explanation. What I don't understand is how you kept your job?!