How do people afford to buy so much?

[Ilovexmastime35]

Aibu to be confused about where I'm going wrong?! Of course everyone's financial situation is different and for those earning well it is no problem paying out for clothes/shoes etc.
But for low - mid earners, how do you afford things? I see people on social media going out regularly, days out, holidays, clothes, city breaks, seaside trips, buying new technology etc. I know what jobs they do and they are not high earners. How are they doing this?

I want to treat my kids to a day out over half term. I've just looked at booking tickets to a local safari park for 2 adults 2 children. It comes to £145!!
I was looking at a local meet Santa on a train event, £80! We can't do it because if I bought those tickets I wouldn't have any money left for anything else for a month.
I think these prices are extortionate and for low-mid earners most people cannot afford these prices.

I need new clothes, boots and a coat desperately. I'm plus size so cannot shop at Primark. The cheapest I can find is a cardigan is priced £34.99. A coat over £59. I just cannot afford these things! My clothes have holes in and my shoes leak!

Im unable to work at the moment ,but my husband earns just over 50k. After all bills, food, fuel, we have about £200 disposal income to last a month. We don't drink, smoke, we don't eat out or socialise. Our money goes on the children and the house. There is never a penny left over for us.

I think in comparison to wages, most things are priced too high. I'm grateful we have a roof over our heads and can afford food but everthing else seems out of reach!. My husband is senior management, he can't earn any more than he does now. We are not frivolous at all. Any advice on how to afford these things apart from getting into debt?

If we measured our lives by what others post about we could feel v disappointed

OP, you must have made some strange financial choices if your DH earns £50k and you have leaking shoes.

Is the issue here is how you have overstretched in your house and now are having to pay back a loan as well?

Unless your mortgage is huge I can't see why this isn't working out, it seems perfectly adequate.

165 quid for one day at a safari park? Where?! We do the odd zoo or safari and pay half of this!

My income is half that so I find it hard to see how someone on your income would struggle unless your mortgage is extortionate.
Primark go up to size 22 or 24. My new coat was £44 in Asda last week.

I don't disagree that days out are expensive though!

How much did the car cost, and how much are you paying every month for it?

Your mortgage must be crazy high to be only left with £200 after bills on that salary. Understandable if London?

Unless your bills are massive? You mention car and furniture payments—did you buy a car beyond your means? Or how much are you spending on food and the children? Because these seem way out of kilter

You say you know what jobs they do, but do you actually know what their salary is?

Only asking because I have a professional qualification and work in finance so you might expect that I have a good salary, my dp has zero qualifications and works on a building site and his base pay is 1.5 times mine.

Yes is your loan and mortgage payments really high?

I ask as me and my partner, joint family income is 56k and we have plenty of money left over for savings/days out etc.

Your outgoings seem very high if you are spending close to 3k a month. Do you have an exceptionally large mortgage? We would rarely spend more than 2k a month and that includes mortgage, nursery fees, food and all bills etc.

Pays for mortgage, a loan that bought our car and furniture, all the bills and insurances

I suspect the answer lies here somewhere. How much is the mortgage, loan repayments and insurances?

I have never had a loan (apart from student loan and mortgage and insurance is low.

For days out we usually use an offer from somewhere or Tesco vouchers. DH is a civil servant and gets lots of great discounts through his work scheme as well. I don't think we ever go on a day out and pay full price!
Similarly with children's clothes I tend to buy them second hand or when they are discounted.

£35 for a cardigan is incredibly cheap if you think about what actually goes into it.

I remember reading something that said people are spending proportionately less on their clothing and food than ever before, at one time people spent 20% of their income on clothes. Equally, they say you shouldn't spend more than 25% of your income on housing and many people spend a lot more.

But taking those figures: 10% on clothing (which I think is UK average) for your family would be £300/month. I think its worth really looking at what you're spending on and seeing where you could potentially save. I was shocked to realise how much we spent on insurance, bizarrely: we spent years living in London without cars so didn't have no claims bonus then needed a car for work and despite shopping around its still more than I feel it 'should' be given our ages. Then house insurance after a break-in went up, life insurance on the mortgage, lots of little things like that which are expenses other people around us wouldn't have, nobody would think of as being a big deal but would definitely cover an £80/month excursion.

I also realised after a Covid shopping conversation with friends (all of us saying how bills had increased now we were comfort eating during lockdown) how much less we spend on groceries than everyone else: mostly this is the result of a predominantly vegetarian diet and both of us barely drinking alcohol. On the other hand, we eat too much takeaway, but we haven't been on an expensive holiday in years. There are loads of ways you can vary your spending, I think many people would be happier if they focused on what they were spending and ways they could shift it onto things that would make them happier. For example, I know people think us having a cleaner is extravagant, but those same people spend more than we do on our cleaner on wine in a week and that is seen as 'acceptable' whereas the cleaner is seen as a luxury. Its all about identifying your priorities and making sure your spending matches them - I know many people have no wriggle room but on £50k you should have some.

www.ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

Stick your figures in to this and see your relative wealth or lack of it. It's often very interesting.

It isn't a leap of imagination to think that people have different spending priorities, different attitudes to debt , different attitudes to showing their spending publicly, inheritance, help from parents etc Just be happy with your decisions and priorities and stop looking at others lives.

Hi op,

I would be looking for days out that cost little or nothing. Try a trip to the beach or park, kids won't care if it's not sunny out as long as they can have some fun. Take a ball or kites with you and a picnic with maybe a flask of hot chocolate and marshmallows and some treats etc.

If you shop online do you use any cash back sites? I use Topcashback, even if you are only making a few pence every time you buy something from a web site it will add up. I have about £30 in earnings that I will use towards Xmas treats for the kids.

I buy a lot of my own clothes and boots from ebay, it is definitely worth a look as there are bargains to be found. Not everything is tat, I buy good quality items that are new and unworn for far less than I would pay in a shop.

Sometimes people get into debt living well beyond their means, personally I would hate that.

Vouchers/Promotional Codes/Work Perks are another way people pay for stuff (ie not credit)

We went to Legoland at the weekend - we didn't spend any money, We used DS1s birthday money from PILs plus we got a free adult ticket from a pack of cereal.
Almost all our big days out are paid for using vouchers (eg from cereal, or sometimes DHs work gives them as a bonus) or they are a birthday treat from relatives who sensibly don't give/post a big toy.

Your finances need an overhaul. I agree with eBay for reasonable very cheap second hand clothes. Can't see where £200 Is going on the house and children. Especially when loads of activities are cancelled.

If you have £200 disposable income and you need a coat prioritise that and buy a coat.

Do you have budget worked out? Go through bank statements and worked out what you are spending on and where you could cut back? Have you looked at your food bill?
We saved a lot when we needed money for a move by shopping at lidl and using Girl Called Jack book for most of our meals.

I can completely believe that things are tight on £50k, housing is ridiculously expensive these days.

We're on a joint income slightly higher than yours and we can afford stuff because we inherited some money and used it to reduce our mortgage.

Dh just been made redundant and because we have been dirt poor in the past we'll be able to tighten our belts significantly.

Definitely recommend the Martin Lewis site, it requires thought and time but so many outgoings can be reduced.

Equally, they say you shouldn't spend more than 25% of your income on housing and many people spend a lot more.

Well, yes, bit you do understand it's not really up to me how much I spend on housing? I don't set house prices or rents and it's not my choice that local rents have doubled in the last 8 years whilst wages have remained more or less stagnant.

@NotJustACigar

For clothes and boots try everything5pounds.com it really is a great site. I've been buying loads on there the last couple of months and have received very nice stuff with only a few duds.

Thank you! I've just been on there and it's made my day, although maybe not for the right reasons! I looked at the boots category and there were some very interesting choices .

Like these little beauties: www.everything5pounds.com/en/Raw-Edge-Denim-Knee-High-Boots/p/668609

I'm going to have a look for something less off the wall, but it has made me smile.

I am a single parent. My income all in is just over 30k and I think we have a pretty good standard of living. I don't consider myself rich by any means but we have enough.
I would say you need to go through your DD's with a tooth comb and work out where it is all going. See if you can reduce your direct debits, change your food shopping habits etc, see where you can cut back. I live in an expensive city with high rents and housing costs. We are still able to maintain a good lifestyle by being sensible with monthly outgoings.

Try charity shops for clothing - have a word with the manager if you are a larger size as they may be willing to tip you off if things come in (we do, we only put out up to size 18 because we don't get enough larger sizes to put a display out)

The issue here may be your debts, if you didn't have car and furniture payment you'd have enough. You mention you spend a lot on the dc? Can you break that down.

Maybe share your budget if you feel comfortable and people can give you tips, or share ideas. Ideally you have enough wiggle room left for incidentals for everyone, and saving for an emergency fund so there's no more hire/purchase and extra loans.