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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you let your daughter play Rugby?

156 replies

queenqueenqueen · 18/10/2020 20:47

My daughter goes along for training sessions with her brother and enjoys them. There are some girls there but tbh not many. No one has said anything about my daughter doing it but have lost count of the amount of "there's no way I'd let my daughter do this" or "my daughter wouldn't do it , she's a princess" comments. They haven't really bothered me but today for some reason they have. I don't know, almost as if it was being inferred I didn't care about her because I was letting her join in with such a "rough sport"

OP posts:

Toothsil · 18/10/2020 21:56

DD does it at school in PE once a week. If she wanted to do it out of school I wouldn't have a problem as long as it was only girls and not mixed.

Cloudybean · 18/10/2020 21:57

That’s simply not true any more- your daughters could be playing against male born people who have been through male puberty.

There is no new guidance on this, RFU decided not to change the current guidance, transwomen have been able to play (below international level), for a while now, provided they have been lowering testosterone levels for 12 months plus. I believe transmen can play at a higher level, as long as they formally acknowledge the increased risk. I don't agree with biological men playing on the pitch alongside women, but similarly this isn't all of a sudden anything new, it's been happening for ages and seemingly wasn't a huge issue until it made the news.

IveNameChangedAgain2020 · 18/10/2020 21:58

Absolutely!! My son played rugby from primary to mid secondary. There were a few girls in his team and honestly they were fanatic and could run rings around the boys and during the league matches!! I was so proud of them and they're not even related.

lazylinguist · 18/10/2020 21:59

Non-contact, sure. I wouldn't really want dd or ds playing full contact rugby tbh.

Lilyofthevalleys · 18/10/2020 22:00

I played rugby as did my sister. If I had daughters I would encourage them to play rugby if the wanted to.

However, with the new RFU guidelines allowing males to play on women’s teams, I would not let my daughter play full contact sport against a boy or man once they hit puberty.

I am so grateful my playing years are over and I only have sons. I feel sick that I feel relieved to have sons not daughters because of this.

SelkieQualia · 18/10/2020 22:01

No. My son has an ideal build for rugby, and we live in a rugby mad area, but I will be trying very hard to prevent him playing. Too many devastating head and spinal injuries. If I had a daughter, the same would apply.

JellyTipisthebest · 18/10/2020 22:01

my dd plays rugby, where we live its single sex after under 13s and now there are many girls teams for younger girls. She now plays under 16s for are area.
Womens rugby seams rougher than the mens

Cloudybean · 18/10/2020 22:01

However, with the new RFU guidelines allowing males to play on women’s teams, I would not let my daughter play full contact sport against a boy or man once they hit puberty.

They are not new guidelines, they just are refusing to change them.

kowari · 18/10/2020 22:01

I agree with single sex but I think it is still not safe for the smaller, later developing boys to play with man sized boys.

FourPlasticRings · 18/10/2020 22:02

I would not let my daughter play rugby. I would not let my son play rugby. Too much potential for long term injury for my taste.

Crystal90567 · 18/10/2020 22:05

My son plays rugby. It's a much better game than football.
A daughter would be encouraged to play rugby too. In girls team after primary though.

Lots of girls are brought up to believe very sexist outdated things. Time and time again, in a broad range of topics / fields. I think its worse now than it was when I was young.

Lilyofthevalleys · 18/10/2020 22:06

@Cloudybean I thought before this week’s clarification there was some room for discretion. At one point the RFUW was deciding on a case by case basis. Either way there were men playing in women’s rugby but this policy announced this week is a doubling down. Particularly in light of the conclusion of the world rugby consultation and guidelines.

lambo88 · 18/10/2020 22:08

Ye as long as she wears a mouth guard to protect her teeth (I'm a dental nurse) xxx

Lilyofthevalleys · 18/10/2020 22:08

Sorry RFU

VillageGreenTree · 18/10/2020 22:09

Don't have any choice. Rugby is compulsory in my children's school both for boys and girls.

Sexnotgender · 18/10/2020 22:13

@JellyTipisthebest

my dd plays rugby, where we live its single sex after under 13s and now there are many girls teams for younger girls. She now plays under 16s for are area. Womens rugby seams rougher than the mens

It won’t be single sex.

DollyDoneMore · 18/10/2020 22:15

Of course.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 18/10/2020 22:18

Yes but I wouldn't be thrilled and I wouldn't let her play against boys. My DS plays football in goal and I don't like other boys kicking the ball at my little darling!

Cloudybean · 18/10/2020 22:21

@Lilyofthevalleys still have to apply and meet set criteria, that has not changed. Again, I do not agree with it and believe personally that biological men should not be allowed to play on women's teams, but it isn't reasonable to think that now there are going to be thousands of transwomen playing, because they have been able to for ages. It is a real shame if the thought that every team will consist of transwomen puts women off playing.

Sexnotgender · 18/10/2020 22:22

[quote Cloudybean]@Lilyofthevalleys still have to apply and meet set criteria, that has not changed. Again, I do not agree with it and believe personally that biological men should not be allowed to play on women's teams, but it isn't reasonable to think that now there are going to be thousands of transwomen playing, because they have been able to for ages. It is a real shame if the thought that every team will consist of transwomen puts women off playing.[/quote]
There are no set criteria for U18s.

NameChange84 · 18/10/2020 22:24

I grew up around a lot of competitive rugby and saw too many vomit inducing horrific injuries to ever actively encourage a child of mine to do it, girl or boy. If their heart was set on it obviously I wouldn’t stop them but I’d really prefer they didn’t.

Pegase · 18/10/2020 22:25

Yes with a mild worry about her being injured. However that is the same worry I would have about a son playing rugby! Or hockey! I work in a school and any injuries seem to be rugby or hockey-related! My child's sex wouldn't be a factor though

Cloudybean · 18/10/2020 22:25

It still goes to panel @Sexnotgender. Again, this has been the case for a while.

Notashandyta · 18/10/2020 22:32

My father in law lost his two front teeth playing rugby.

My friend's boyfriend's mate is paralysed from the neck down from playing rugby.

So from that perspective, no. But that would stand for a son or daughter.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 18/10/2020 22:34

@VillageGreenTree

Don't have any choice. Rugby is compulsory in my children's school both for boys and girls.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that. Ill be meeting with the Head of PE I imagine, and suggesting they teach my child to be the referee. They can do the drills but no full contact.

My cousin has trained as a football ref - he's under Chelsea FC now. He started doing it because he didn't want to sustain an injury which would impact his tennis game. his school were happy with it because they could still demonstrate he was learning.

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