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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let your daughter play Rugby?

156 replies

queenqueenqueen · 18/10/2020 20:47

My daughter goes along for training sessions with her brother and enjoys them. There are some girls there but tbh not many. No one has said anything about my daughter doing it but have lost count of the amount of "there's no way I'd let my daughter do this" or "my daughter wouldn't do it , she's a princess" comments. They haven't really bothered me but today for some reason they have. I don't know, almost as if it was being inferred I didn't care about her because I was letting her join in with such a "rough sport"

OP posts:
GinWithASplashOfTonic · 18/10/2020 20:56

Yes if she wanted to. Goes for any sport. Apart from swimming which will be a must for a few years at least.

Mrsjayy · 18/10/2020 20:56

Just breezily say she loves it and has a great time

RandomMess · 18/10/2020 20:59

My DD plays and is very good...

There have been several concussions and a fractured vertebrae over the years 🤦🏼‍♀️ she loves it though 🤷🏽‍♀️

Irishstout · 18/10/2020 20:59

I've played rugby for more than 10 years. My rugby friends are my best friends. There is great respect and discipline to be learnt in playing rugby. Let her play as long as she wants to.

The attitudes from your friends deserve more judgement than your decision to let her play.

MillieEpple · 18/10/2020 20:59

No. I wouldnt i dont let my son olay. Im squiffy about rugby and the broken neck thing after my friends boyfriend was seriously injured. I think the quality of coaching is important so i suppose it depends a bit on the setting. But im really uncomfortable with it.

Love51 · 18/10/2020 20:59

Yes. But, I played rugby at school and uni and am planning to take it up again next summer (for various reasons I can't now) so I would be a massive hypocrite if I wouldn't.
It is AMAZING for PMT. Best thing ever.

SisyphusAndTheRockOfUntidiness · 18/10/2020 21:01

Not until it's single sex again. If she really got into it & wanted to continue I'd be too worried about her playing against women born male. DH received a pretty nasty rugby injury as a young man. I had a teacher who nearly died of a rugby injury, left with life changing injuries. And those were both large strong men, playing in single sex environments.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 18/10/2020 21:01

I really find this very hard to believe. My kids play rugby, there are girls in the club, not one parent has ever made any kind of comment.

Disastermagnet27 · 18/10/2020 21:06

If she wants to, why not? I have 2 Ds's and they've both done gymnastics. The younger one does at the moment. Sport is sport in my opinion and any child should be able to play or be involved in any sport they want!

Brefugee · 18/10/2020 21:07

absolutely - especially when they're young and it's non-contact

CherryPavlova · 18/10/2020 21:09

Yes, it’s a whole lot safer than male rugby. I don’t like seeing girls play but if she was really keen, so be it.

123456abcd · 18/10/2020 21:09

Yes, yes, yes!

MrsPnut · 18/10/2020 21:10

My daughter started when she was 4, played with the boys until she was 11 and then moved to a girl’s team.
She adores rugby, it makes her feel strong and powerful. She also loves her team, being part of something where you work together is a great skill.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 18/10/2020 21:11

Of course I'd let her. I play a full contact sport myself and love it, as long as she was coached properly anyway!

ChikiTIKI · 18/10/2020 21:12

I voted YANBU because I wouldn't hold my child back from doing a sport like rugby if they were really up for it.

I would have concerns about safety though, if it was a female or male child. My husband used to do a lot of rugby and has had a couple of serious head injuries. However I used to do a lot of trampolining which people used to say was more dangerous (not sure now but back then I think people used to say water polo, trampolining and rugby were up there)...

I'm sure there are rules now about how much contact is allowed in children's rugby. It's probably a lot safer to learn the game at a young age when everyone weighs a lot less, is not as strong or fast and everyone heals quicker from injuries.

allthethinkz · 18/10/2020 21:14

In the long term, womens rugby will actually be safer than men's because women are lighter and slower. So if you're letting your son play then there's absolutely no reason not to let your daughter.

Mandalalorianna · 18/10/2020 21:15

I did, my daughter does. Brilliant team spirit, strong friendships, fitness, fun.
Our club is hugely family friendly. Go for it!

jazzandh · 18/10/2020 21:16

I have an older son who hated rugby, and I respected that and turned a blind eye when he "forgot" his kit etc....I have a younger son who is good at it, and whom I encourage to try his best, as it is a game he will probably have to be involved in one way or another for a lot of his education.

Rugby is a game, that given a chance, I think I would personally have enjoyed a lot.

...but...I think injuries are a factor in it...so I would not go out of my way to encourage it - if there was not a strong desire/educational need for it.

TheSandman · 18/10/2020 21:18

OP, would you post - "Would you let your son play Rugby?" ?

...didn't think so.

Longdistance · 18/10/2020 21:21

My dh is rugby, he teaches it. I know how strict rugby is for kids wrt safety. I would let my dds play, if they were interested, which they’re not at the moment but dh has made it overkill with his passion. I could see dd1 doing it in the future as she’s sporty and rufty tufty. But, we’ll see.

KnightsofColumbusThatHurt · 18/10/2020 21:22

Not if males who 'identify as female' are allowed to play on the 'women's' team....

M0mmyneedswine · 18/10/2020 21:25

Ds team had 4 girls until u11 when they cannot play mixed anymore. They were great asset to the team and we were all sad to see them go.

Bearnecessity · 18/10/2020 21:26

Not sure why anyone is playing rugby when you are 8 times more likely to develop MND as a result. The statistics on injuries, lifelong ones as well are shocking. That said tag and non- contact rugby for both sexes is fine.

OddBoots · 18/10/2020 21:28

It is her choice but I would have been supportive until the recent changes swapping sex for gender, there is just too much risk for women in rugby against biological males, I would advise against it but still respect her choice though.

wibdib · 18/10/2020 21:32

My niece (school age) plays as does my cousin (started in uni, been playing about 10 yrs now). DS1 is similar age to niece and also plays.

They are all passionate about the game and play at a good level for their age group. However for the females there seems to be a stronger cameraderie and if they are good there’s more opportunity to go further faster as there aren’t as many others to compete against as there are in the boys.

Dh takes ds and he has found the parents much friendlier than the footie parents. The rugby kids were mixed up to about 11 I think. Ds is very small for his age and skilled except when he needs brute force - so I do worry about him playing but this year they’re playing touch thanks to covid so that makes me very happy.

If your dd wants to play I would let her and just have some comeback like all the best princesses love playing rugby or funny I never had you down as the dated sort, I thought we’d got rid of those