Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let your daughter play Rugby?

156 replies

queenqueenqueen · 18/10/2020 20:47

My daughter goes along for training sessions with her brother and enjoys them. There are some girls there but tbh not many. No one has said anything about my daughter doing it but have lost count of the amount of "there's no way I'd let my daughter do this" or "my daughter wouldn't do it , she's a princess" comments. They haven't really bothered me but today for some reason they have. I don't know, almost as if it was being inferred I didn't care about her because I was letting her join in with such a "rough sport"

OP posts:
wibdib · 18/10/2020 21:35

Doh hit post by mistake.

... got rid of those dated ideas that girls were princesses and boys did sport back in the 80s/90s.

SisyphusAndTheRockOfUntidiness · 18/10/2020 21:37

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4050558-RFU-clears-TW-to-play-at-all-levels-of-rugby?pg=1

Once the RFU reverse this decision, yes I would. I couldn't give a shit about my DD getting muddy or whatever else. But children's touch rugby leads to adult rugby if they're good. And I suspect she might good. DH used to play for county & was asked to try out for the next level but went with another sport. She's fast, very strong for her size, tall & fearless. Before lockdown she was really getting into football.

Rover83 · 18/10/2020 21:40

I wouldn't encourage any of my children to play any rough contact sport but I spent a long time working in a head injury centre. My children both play in mixed and single sex football teams and love getting muddy. Some girls arent into getting muddy and doing outdoor sports the same way some boys aren't. If she enjoys it then that's all that matters

CaveMum · 18/10/2020 21:40

Reposting my comment from the duplicate thread:

My daughter is 6 and doesn’t currently play any team sports. I’d allow her to play rugby if she expressed an interest, but there is no way I would allow her to play rugby past her early teens following Rugby England’s decision to allow trans players to compete according to their “gender identity”.

Women and girls are going to get seriously injured and ultimately be pushed out of the sport altogether all for the sake of a few fragile male egos.

Artesia · 18/10/2020 21:40

100% agree with Sisyphus- I would have let DD play but following the RFU’s decision I wouldn’t. This needs publicity- a PP said

“ In the long term, womens rugby will actually be safer than men's because women are lighter and slower. So if you're letting your son play then there's absolutely no reason not to let your daughter.”

That’s simply not true any more- your daughters could be playing against male born people who have been through male puberty.

jessstan1 · 18/10/2020 21:43

If she wants to play rugby, let her play. I have a distant cousin who played regularly and my son's ex girlfriend was a rugby player. Why not?

kowari · 18/10/2020 21:43

I don't like that my DS has to play it at school (he doesn't either!). I wouldn't like him playing it outside of school, not once they start contact.

Begonias · 18/10/2020 21:44

My DD had trials for local rugby club, she got a place and absolutely loves it. She's only 12 and has been playing rugby for the last 2 yrs.
She joined a local u12s Football club but the boys wouldn't pass the ball to her unless the coach said. So we took her out and she joined a girls team.
If she enjoys the sport encourage her. I've heard all the "I wouldn't let my daughter play rugby/football" and tbh their opinions don't matter.

jessstan1 · 18/10/2020 21:45

kowari, mine didn't like it either and used to skive off as much as he could; I hate it but if I had a child who wanted to play, I would give them all my support.

RiftGibbon · 18/10/2020 21:45

As PP's have said, if she wanted to. My answer to other parents would simply be, "As long as she wants to do it and is happy, then that's fine."

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 18/10/2020 21:46

I wouldn't encourage it but I didn't encourage my son either. too rough for my liking.

CarrieBlue · 18/10/2020 21:47

My DD started playing RL when she was six, now 11, mixed team (but there are only two girls on the team) and will have to move to all girls at under 12. She loves it.

didireallysaythat · 18/10/2020 21:48

At our club there are fewer girls once to get to the u11/u12 age group - and the girls who remain start training separately around at this age. Contact starts at u9.

DeciduousPerennial · 18/10/2020 21:48

I wouldn’t let either daughter or son play.

kowari · 18/10/2020 21:49

jessstan1, I just don't think it's safe. DS is 7 1/2 stone and 5ft 4 at 14 and there are boys in his year who are built like men already.

mamaoffourdc · 18/10/2020 21:49

Absolutely!!!!

HoneysuckIejasmine · 18/10/2020 21:49

As I said on your other thread, absolutely not, for my son or my daughter. My brother is living with a catastrophic injury from rugby and I will not add unnecessary risk to my children's lives. I will be having serious conversations with their school when it comes to doing it in PE and I do not plan to be persuaded that it will be safe.

I used to play and I loved it. But I hurt my back falling funny and had to have osteopathy as a teenager, still gives me trouble now and then. And it turns out, I got off lightly.

FanSpamTastic · 18/10/2020 21:50

My DS played rugby from 5 until 11 and there were always a few girls on the team. There was no real difference at that age between the boys and girls. They played tag for the first few years, then non contact, then started limited contact. I think the girls started to train with the ladies team from 12 onwards.

Stingray123 · 18/10/2020 21:51

I would not actively encourage it if she was little due to the dangers of becoming injured, concussed and get cauliflower ears. But if she was old enough to make own decisions I would support.

Justajot · 18/10/2020 21:52

No, but I was pleased to have DDs as it is harder to stop boys playing. Having met someone with significant disabilities as a result of a rugby injury, I am not at all keen.

boydoggies · 18/10/2020 21:52

If she likes it let her play. My DD9 plays. Although she was a bit grumpy as she had to leave a little early today for a dance exam!!! Rugby teaches so much more than just rugby.

SlipperyLizard · 18/10/2020 21:54

I wouldn’t encourage girls or boys to play it, as I think it is too risky (for me as a parent), although before the recent Rugby England’s decision to let male players who “identify” as women play women’s rugby (in stark contrast to the World Rugby decision to protect women’s rugby), I would have thought rugby was less of a risk for girls than for boys.

Until Rugby England stop allowing males to play on female teams, I don’t see why any parent would encourage their daughter to take up the sport.

Rosebel · 18/10/2020 21:55

I wouldn't encourage it for my daughter's or son as it's rough and have heard it can lead to bad injuries.
If they were really keen I wouldn't stop them but wouldn't be happy.

MinecraftMother · 18/10/2020 21:55

Yes!

But not with post pubescent boys or men.

tilder · 18/10/2020 21:56

I don't want any of my children playing rugby.

However, if it were ok for ds, it would be ok for dd.

Would need to be single sex though. Sports like rugby should be single sex post 11 for safety and fairness.