Sweets in graveyard...?

[LadyHalesBroach]

I’ll set the scene...

Currently sat at a table having coffee in Kew Gardens enjoying five mins peace.

Table next to me are a bunch can of SWLondon Mums.

“Isn’t it sad that Tarquin and Hyacinth-Petunia (I think those were the names...) can’t go trick or treating this year, poor darlings.”

“I’m taking them to the graveyard and hiding sweets behind all gravestones instead.”

I’m sat here like what?! Maybe it’s because I recently lost my mum, but if someone came and stuck haribo on her gravestone, I would a)kick off either child or parent and b) eat her sweets.

Or am I being over precious?

Yanbu.
That link above made me livid.
For those who didn’t read it a group of boys climbed through a hole in a fence and were performing gymnastics climbing over memorials. One of them was killed. Apparently it was the churches fault for having a hole and not maintaining graves so kids could jump on them. Not the fault of the feral little oiks or their useless parents...

I’m from SW London and completely get the joke/generalisation

I imagine most cemeteries will be closed by about 4.00 by the end of the month. Might make it a more harrowing Halloween than they envisage when they are shaking the gates begging to be let out........

I used to know the superintendent of a local huge cemetery. They regularly had to rescue people who had got locked in, usually late on a Sunday afternoon. I always wondered what the locked in people were up to to lose track of the time and miss the bell.

Why would anyone think that is okay, YANBU

YANBU but my Gran who died 25 years ago would probably be tickled by the idea of sweets hidden behind her gravestone for children to find.

SW London born and raised.. It's not an entirely unfounded stereotype

There are some weird people about. Kew Gardens is far too lovely a place for such bizarre conversations!

Dickens said that cemeteries were places where children SHOULD play. He thought the ghosts might like it.

OK, they’re not safe places for kids to play, but OTOH I’m quite sure that none of my dead elderly relatives would have the slightest objection to kids playing around their graves. More likely to be pleased, IMO.

t feel absolutely sick about this. The idea of treating people's graves as a playground is totally off and disrespectful and sickening. I really cannot believe anyone decent would think this is all right. If it is a churchyard, this is consecrated, ie.holy, ground.

@FortunesFave

Dickens said that cemeteries were places where children SHOULD play. He thought the ghosts might like it.

If my grandmother is a ghost, she would definetly love the idea of children playing around her grave. I think it's more the living that have an issue with it.

You lost the high moral ground at your unnecessarily nasty and snobbish way of referencing SW London mums, if indeed they were - you have no idea where they are from!! Why didn't you call them out on socialising indoors instead, which is currently banned in the London area, which would have been a more useful comment?

I find it disrespectful too.
Ive seen many groups, often adults and older children ,on holiday here, play football in our local church yard.
It overlooks the local beach and is 100s of years old , I feel this is the only reason they play on it.
We are a very very small community, visitors stand out like a sore thumb - I know how this sounds but its very true.

Disrespectful and inappropriate, more so given November is near and is the month when war dead (and indeed others) are remembered.

I dont agree with what the mother was proposing to do because graveyards are dangerous places but I also don't agree with the way you have phrased your OP.

I love graveyards, as do my children. But we are respectful - we like walking in them, reading the names and dates on the stones.

I think it’s crass to hide sweets and use it a a Halloween activity. And I bloody love Halloween as well.

We go to the crem every Halloween, & lots of other times in-between, to visit my grandson's grave. On Halloween we usually go trick or treating straight after (obv not this year) so the kids are dressed up, I often wonder what people think of us. But then decide I shouldn't care as it's no-one's business. My daughter always decorates Jack's grave for Halloween, on 31st we go to light his candles & then leave. Our children are not running round looking at other graves & being a nuisance. We would be pretty upset if someone was hiding sweets in the cemetery for their children to run round finding. Jack was a cot death victim at 3 months, its been over 14 years but we still take him Eggs at Easter & presents at Christmas & his birthday. We take gifts from holidays & days out. Halloween is another festival we try to make him part of. It's one of the traditions which helps us. We certainly aren't being disrespectful, but I think someone using the cemetery just for Halloween would be.

I think it's pretty gross. And I love graveyards, I like to look around, but respectfully. If there is a very old child's grave which has been neglected I will add flowers etc. Hiding sweets around graves isn't nice for grieving people when they visit

@HelpIcantfindaname I’m so very sorry about little Jack. How wonderful that he’s still so loved by his family

I once went to visit my grandma’s grave. It had dolly mixtures scattered all over it. The churchyard was where some of the village youngsters used to hang out and one of them had probably dropped their sweets. It made me smile. Grandma liked sweets and young people: she wouldn’t have minded.

Do play in the graveyards, just not alone.
Don't be shocked to see people appearing from crypts, I know of one crypt inhabited by a homeless person and I should imagine they're quiet, peaceful and maybe even dry places to sleep.
Stop being so po-faced about 'respect' etc. All those dead people have been alive. They were children once. I've been reading some family history this week - one of my great uncles buried sons age 1 and 6. I'm sure those little ones would be delighted if sweets and hide and seek were happening in their burial grounds. As for the war dead - their lives were lost. What could please them more than seeing the living having a great time?

YANBU, what a ridiculous, insensistive and offensive suggestion!

Am I the only one that thinks it sounds fun?

If I was buried in the grave heard I would love to have children running around near me having fun 🤣.

But agree that some grave stones might be a bit unsafe. Most of the grave yards here are full of old graves from 100 years ago, there are not many new graves as the church yard is pretty full. I often see kids in the grave yard and the local school takes kids there to do rubbings of the stones.

“Yard” not “heard”

Lovemusic33 yes, I know what you mean. If it were my grave, I can't imagine minding that children played there. But to visit your child's / mother's grave and find people trying to make it a creepy Halloween game, I wouldn't like that.