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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my child back to school without getting test results!

270 replies

Dickorydockwhatthe · 17/10/2020 12:49

I'm on the 5th day of waiting for his results. Ds 1 tests came back negative, still waiting for ds 2 who is fine. We are all fine. I can't afford time off work, ds needs to go back to school. 119 are useless. They have finally lodged a complaint but could take 3 days from now and then it could be lost. What should I do? I'm at breaking point with it all and theres no one to complain to!!

OP posts:
Readandwalk · 17/10/2020 13:56

No dont. I'm a teacher and this is a fear for teachers. Dont do it.

SkittyKat · 17/10/2020 13:57

The child who was a contact of the case has to self isolate due to being a contact, regardless of their test result. Having a negative test does not negate the need to self isolate.

The child who had the cough, even if it has now gone, will have been in a different bubble at school (presumably) to your other child, and therefore you cannot assume that their result will be the same as their sibling as they have had contact with different children.

So unfortunately you do have to wait until the test result comes back for that child, and you should all be self isolating until it does.

Original poster
Dickorydockwhatthe · 17/10/2020 13:59

I have followed the rules and its but me in the ass. I should have just got ds 2 tested and waited to k see how ds 2 developed. But he did develop a cough just not as bad as his brothers. I had to drive an hour to a test site there an back so made sense to test both. Ds 2 just seems to have recovered fine. Ds1 incubation is now over last day was yesterday, results from Tuesday were negative. I've wrote to my MPs I've rang 119 who else can I go to?? I was saying exactly the same and have played by the rules and judged those who didn't. But I don't have the luxary of working from home or paying for a priviate test, taking leave etc. And yes I am bringing other families into because there probably people who are worse off then me and waiting 5 days or more for test rwsu3is unacceptable. I'm panicking because they said it could be another 3 days and after that it could be lost. That's 2 weeks!! 2 weeks with no results or no way of knowing!!!

OP posts:
ImSleepingBeauty · 17/10/2020 14:08

Don’t waste money on a private test because in England you have to be tested within the first 8 days of symptoms started, which it sounds like you’ll be breaching soon? I know it’s shit. It is.

In your shoes I’d focus on getting your employer off your back.

Like others have said, this is the future for now and I’m saying that as someone who’s child has been through this testing cycle more then once and never had a positive result.

ResplendentAutumn · 17/10/2020 14:10

Op I unfortunately this virus moves in strange ways and it's common for some people in the same family to test differently...

If your child goes into school and is positive then how many more parents may loose money and loves etc the only way to get a handle on this is by testing. But I totally sympathise with your situation and this is what so many people won't test

Jaxhog · 17/10/2020 14:10

Ask the school?

DorisLessingsLesson · 17/10/2020 14:11

Are you planning on lying to the school? Because our school would send both DCs straight home.

OhDear2200 · 17/10/2020 14:14

I’m confused I thought if you’ve been in contact with someone with a positive test you had to self isolate for 14 days regardless of test results? So your DD1 can’t go back?

It’s a rubbish situation but one we are all in.

Wowthisisreal · 17/10/2020 14:16

@Dickorydockwhatthe regardless of DS1 testing negative, all of you need to stay in isolation. DS1 still needs to stay off school despite the negative result because he has been in contact with a confirmed case.

How difficult is this? I'm struggling to understand why some people don't seem to be bothered to learn or understand the rules at all.

I have a friend who had DC 1 with symptoms, next day DC 2 developed symptoms and DC 3 still has no symptoms. DC 1 negative result came back in 24 hours. DC 2 POSITIVE result came back 72 hours later.

coconuttyhead · 17/10/2020 14:17

It is frustrating, I was in a similar situation with DS who had symptoms - first test inconclusive so had to do another one - no work, no money, no school etc but knew it had to be done before he finally received negative result - it is stressful. I am self-employed though so didnt have a manager breathing down my neck - the Government have made it clear that employers must respect the rules and are not allowed to show discrimination/harassment/bullying whatever you want to call it towards an employee. This is not your fault and you’re doing the right thing.

HazeyJaneII · 17/10/2020 14:19

You got them both tested because they had symptoms - ds1 is back and negative....but was also doing isolation because of contact and the full 14 days isolation due to contact has now ended - right? Or how long was he isolating for?

But ds2 was also tested for symptoms, but no results yet - right?

So, if your ds1 has done the full 14 days isolation, your ds's can go back when you have a negative result for ds2...until then the whole house had to continue to self isolate for 14 days from when symptoms started or until a negative test.

If your ds1 has not done the full 14 days isolation, then negative test or not, he will have to continue until 14 days is up.

It is crap, but it is the rules, and they are there for a reason.

CaveMum · 17/10/2020 14:19

It’s not uncommon for people within the same family to have different results. I personally know three different families that had one positive test result within the household but all others negative.

I agree, it’s shit, but you have to wait for the results/end of isolation period. If the school are aware that DS has been tested I’d be very surprised if they allowed him back without a negative or observation of the full 14 days.

Fruitsaladjelly · 17/10/2020 14:22

If they have been recovered for 5 days I can’t see an issue, you are most infectious before you have symptoms. Almost not at all 5 days into symptoms

ImSleepingBeauty · 17/10/2020 14:24

@Fruitsaladjelly source please

DumplingsAndStew · 17/10/2020 14:31

Oh FFS

Devlesko · 17/10/2020 14:32

And you are special because?
I don't care about your job or your manager tbh. I do care that you don't seem to have a clue what you are doing and could potentially spread the virus.
Partner, who can share the parenting, so you don't lose your job?

NerrSnerr · 17/10/2020 14:34

@Devlesko the OP would still have to stay at home anyway (and quite rightly). The whole family need to isolate until results come back or the 2 weeks are up. It would be monumentally selfish to do otherwise.

Marchitectmummy · 17/10/2020 14:35

If you don't follow the rules and someone at school or your work becomes ill, how will you feel? That will be the answer to what you do. If you wouldn't feel guilty or worried thst it was you who infected them then go ahead back you go. If it would make you feel something other than who cares then stay isolating.

neveradullmoment99 · 17/10/2020 14:37

@Dickorydockwhatthe

Ds 2 is fine now no symptoms the one who is still coughing is negative and can go back to school because he has his results!! How can people afford this? Ive stuck by the rules, I've did what I needed to do and yet they can't explain why I've had one test result and not the other!! If I didn't care I would have tested and isolated in the first bit but now 5 days later without no results still? That's acceptable for families who have to take leave or claim sick pay?
Absolutely DO not send him back to school until his test comes back negative. I mean seriously? How dare you put members of staff at risk. Totally unacceptable.
DumplingsAndStew · 17/10/2020 14:39

You say that the last day of DS1 14-day isolation was yesterday? So the first day was the 3rd?
Yet, only on the 10th, you were asking what the rules were?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4046933-Schools-bubble-closed-so-ds-is-home-for-2-weeks-but

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 17/10/2020 14:40

I think your manager is going to need to adjust their expectations for any staff with school-age children... we're only in October and my Y7DD has just completed her 2nd set of 14 days in self-isolation due to positive cases in her class. I fully expect that this winter is basically going to be a case of yo-yo-ing in and out of school.

Hopeisathingwithfeathers · 17/10/2020 14:41

I thought they said kids don’t really spread it?

MonsterKidz · 17/10/2020 14:41

Hi OP,

As hard as it you really do need to wait for results.

I now live overseas but i’m from the U.K. U have 2 kids and we are not get back to school. My kids have not been to school since March

I’ve also lost my job.

I’m pointing this out to ask you to please take the extra days to isolate and protect everyone. Your employer needs to understand, you will surely not be the first to have to go through this at your place of work.

Hang in, your time is almost up.

bumblingbovine49 · 17/10/2020 14:41

@Dickorydockwhatthe

Ds 2 is fine now no symptoms the one who is still coughing is negative and can go back to school because he has his results!! How can people afford this? Ive stuck by the rules, I've did what I needed to do and yet they can't explain why I've had one test result and not the other!! If I didn't care I would have tested and isolated in the first bit but now 5 days later without no results still? That's acceptable for families who have to take leave or claim sick pay?
but your DS1 needs to isolate for 14 days from when he had contact with the person with confirmed Covid, regardless of any illness he gets in those 14 days. If he has done 14 days , he can go back (as the new symptoms he has developed are confirmed as not Covid), if he has not done 14 days, he can't go back even if his test is negative, as he still could develop Covid symptoms

If his test had been positive, the isolation clock for DS1 would have started again an he would have had to do 10 days from his symptoms starting regardless of how long he had isolated so far . So in a worst case scenario he might have had to isolate for 24 days (if he developed symptoms on day 14 which turned out to be Covid)

Your DS2 needs to isolate for 10 days based on his symptoms or go back after a negative test. How long since he had symptoms? If it is 5 days already, you only have to wait another 5 days, I assume a couple of these coincide with your days off so only another 3 working days. You need to tell you boss that this is when you will be back if the result for DS2 does not arrive before then .

Changednamesorry · 17/10/2020 14:46

YABVU

My friend got his (positive) test result back after 10 days due to a glitch in the system.

Wait for the results.