To not want to tell people I’m in labour?

[Anxiousgirl23]

I’m 36 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Obviously this is all new to me and I’ve had quite a hard time and suffer with anxiety. We are planning a homebirth and i envisaged the whole thing as quite a private affair and just telling people after our daughter is born to avoid unnecessary "pressure" during labour with people asking for updates. Anyway, tonight we phoned my mother and father in law and mil was immediately I want to know straight away as soon as I’m in labour ... I find her quite overbearing with regards to baby (she wanted to come as soon as baby is born too and was quite put out when we said no). Maybe I’m just being touchy but I really just want to focus on me and my dh to do that too without having to be on his phone providing updates? What did other people do?

YANBU OP. Just tell them when baby is here.

I hate talking about my personal life and people prodding for information and my Mum is the worst for it (and then rushes off to tell anyone and everyone my personal business)

Both of our families with the exception of DP's sister live abroad and I do wonder if I could get away with not even telling them when I'm pregnant

If it makes your MIL feel involved to know I would tell her."

It’s not about MIL though or wishes when it comes to someone’s body especially when it comes to labor and delivery. She had her child/children and hopefully did it the way she wanted.

@diddl

When I had my first, it never occurred to me/us that anyone would be told until I'd had the baby.

Same would have gone for the 2nd as well if it hadn't have been for needing someone to look after PFB whilst I was having 2nd!

Exactly. I thought that was what everyone did.

YANBU
Also had planned homebirths. Did not tell friends or relatives when I went into labour. I did not want a bunch of people milling around me or in my home while in childbirth. It’s perfectly reasonable to just want your partner and the midwives. And your comfort matters the most because childbirth can go off the rails if the mother is stressed or uncomfortable.