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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a dog in my car?

126 replies

Aury26 · 14/10/2020 23:19

Me and 2 friends are going away for the weekend (2 hour drive weekend break).
My friend who owns an english bulldog was supposed to sort dog care, but for whatever reason didnt think to try and sort this out until 2 days before we leave despite booking this 3 weeks ago. Unsurprisingly she cant find anyone to look after her dog so is now asking me if she would mind the dog coming. AIBU to not want to have a big slobbery dog in my car?
I have told her no but she has got upset and claiming I am being unreasonable and that she wont be any bother. Apart from the hair, smell and drool I have a tiny car and already thinking about fitting in 3 people plus luggage and food to then have a bulldog in the passenger footwell too.
I think its mainly annoying me that im being forced into a situation i didnt want because she hasnt bothered to sort out arrangements for her dog until the last minute so now its my problem. AIBU?

OP posts:
NoSleepInTheHeat · 16/10/2020 09:10

Use her car or get her to rent one for you.

nicky7654 · 16/10/2020 09:10

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, dogs are better than Humans! Put a throw on the seat and stop being a drama queen!!!

MummytoCSJH · 16/10/2020 09:16

@BlueJava errr, no. 'Friend' can pay the full valet fee considering it wouldn't need to be done at all if she didn't want to bring dog. Why should OP be out of pocket half a valet fee because friend was disorganized and failed (whether on purpose or not) to make care arrangements?

OP YANBU I wouldn't take a dog in my car unless it was an absolute emergency favour for someone, even if there was room or suitable restraints, and like others have mentioned I wouldn't want a dog on holiday with me either as it will mean you have to change all your plans to fit around the dog.

forrestgreen · 16/10/2020 09:17

I'd say no to it going in your car.
I'd say if she puts you on her insurance that you'll drive her car as long as the dog is secured legally.

IntermittentParps · 16/10/2020 09:19

While it's not technically illegal for a dog to be unrestrained/in the footwell, you could still potentially be pulled over 'driving without due care and attention'.

It could also be used as evidence against you if you were to be involved in an accident. Not to mention of course the actual damage/distress/horror others have mentioned if an accident occurred.

Also in the event of an accident, if the dog was found to have caused or contributed to it, your car insurance could be invalid. If it went to court you could be fined and get points on your licence.

Tell the 'friend' all this. If she's still bullish about it then you need give not a fuck about her or her dog or her feelings; she'd be beyond unreasonable and not worth the bother.

And to the poster whose advice is to Put a throw on the seat and stop being a drama queen!!!, you are a fucking idiot.

Craiglang · 16/10/2020 09:21

No way. I have a large, hairy dog who sheds like crazy. They're only allowed in my car - the kids have wrecked it already - not anyone else's.

I agree that the options are insurance on her car or a hire car, the latter probably more expensive than kennels for a couple of days, but you've at least given her solutions.

Could the 3rd person not drive?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 16/10/2020 09:21

Borrow my Doggy or Trusted Housesitter?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 16/10/2020 09:22

I think it’s a moot point because the dog can’t really go into footwell, it needs a seat. So where will the luggage go 🤷‍♀️

movingonup20 · 16/10/2020 09:27

Dogs are not meant to travel in the footwell. They should either be in the boot or secured with a harness

2me2u2u2me · 16/10/2020 09:27

Dog lover here but I would not accept the dog in my car or going on a weekend away unplanned. They stink, have smelly breath and it will be very uncomfortable for him, also not legal. It will also change the dynamic of the weekend as you'll have to go everywhere that's dog friendly and what about a night out, she won't want to leave him for any length of time.

When I visit my dog owner friend her dog is very active, leaping from one sofa to the next, jumping and lolling on me and leaving dog hairs all over me, she thinks it's "cute" the conversation's dominated quite a lot about how lovely her dog is and ahhhing about what the dog is doing now, I can't stand it

RandomMess · 16/10/2020 09:31

Dog owner and lover here YANBU it's a completely different weekend with a dog!! I would just cancel altogether.

Her and dog co-owner can go together!

FinallyHere · 16/10/2020 09:33

Since it's her birthday, I'd consider driving them if they hire a car for the weekend, with cage or restraint etc for the dog.

That seems like a reasonable compromise.

You car isn't large enough and lacks suitable restraint. If a valet clean was enough to remove all signs of dog, it would be a solution. It won't, do isnt a solution

Imagine every day you open your car door you smell dog and are reminded of her CFery.

It seems they need you to do the driving. You have a lot of power here. Don't be afraid to use it. Certainly don't be a push over.

LakieLady · 16/10/2020 09:34

@PlayerOne

As she drives, can she pay for you to go on her insurance, and take her vehicle?
Absolutely what I was going to suggest, even better if your insurance covers you to drive her car.

And having a dog in the footwell isn't a good way for a dog to travel, tbh. None of mine would have tolerated, they'd have been up on the seat or a lap at the first opportunity.

I wouldn't tolerate that, and it's not safe, so they were always in the back, in a dog cage.

Itsseweasy · 16/10/2020 09:40

I think you’re been manipulated into the dog coming too.
If I was going away my first thought would be who is going to look after mine - if she loves her dog there’s not a chance she “forgot”.
On that basis alone, never mind the car issues, I wouldn’t agree to it.
I’m sure there’s such a thing as emergency pet care, she might have to pay more though!

TheFuckingDogs · 16/10/2020 09:40

Yeah I’m usually all for the dogs but this is unreasonable of them - your car and as many posters have said dogs shouldn’t be travelling in the front footwell as it’s dangerous if there’s a crash

Newfornow · 16/10/2020 09:45

Nope I wouldn’t feel bad saying sorry no I can’t do that.
Illegal without proper space and restraint
Residual smell, hair and slobber
Dragging dog everywhere whole time
She finds a dog sitter or doesn’t come.
I would loose her over it too. Why does what she wants take priority over what you want .... in your car and in your break away, that you paid for.

Newfornow · 16/10/2020 09:45

She pays for car hire

PopsicleHustler · 16/10/2020 09:49

I love dogs. They are literally one of my favourite animals and as a child I would collect books and stickers and soft toys...

But, wouldnt have one indoors or in the car. I will never understand how people can have their dog on the sofa or on their beds and even on the carpet. With its bum and privates touching the rugs, sofa and blankets, duvet and so on. Even after it's been outside going to the toilet. People even kiss their dog after they lick itself clean. Ewwwww!
It's your right to have to say sorry, I cant have pooch in the car. It would be a tight squeeze.
Just be polite and hope your friend understands.

Enjoy your break. God bless

ktp100 · 16/10/2020 09:50

Nothing worse than a dog person who expects others to accommodate for them. I'm the same with the smell etc but in my home. We have a cat and he is on edge for days after having a dog in the house but no matter how much I explain that friends still expect me to allow their dogs in. Sorry but no!

Just say no. Be honest and say you hate the smell, drool etc and don't want it in your car. It's not unreasonable in the slightest.

fairydustandpixies · 16/10/2020 10:05

YANBU. I have an elderly dog whom the whole family loves, my friends adore him but not a single one of them will have him in their car and a lot of them won't allow him in their homes. I have no issue with this. I took my car to be valeted and the guys nearly passed out when they saw the amount of mud and hair in it! I had to pay double! But he's my dog, my mess to clear up and I am never offended when people say no to him coming round or being in their car. OP, does your friend not drive? Could she follow you and take the dog in her own car?

ThatDirection · 16/10/2020 10:06

No YANBU

I'm a dog lover and god owner too but never impose my dog on other people or expect anyone else to love and tolerate her smells and hair and presence than our household.

I agree that if she is stuck the best compromise is her renting a car with a big enough boot to take the dog in a crate and your luggage. It is not safe putting the dog in the footwell or leaving it unrestrained inside your car and your insurance could be invalidated.

Dogs really do smell in an enclosed space. I don't notice mine until I pop out the car and leave the dog in their with one of my daughters, then come back in to the car. Just them breathing their dog breath in a small space is grim.

ChronicallyCurious · 16/10/2020 10:25

Do you have a dog? Or children? If you don’t have a dog but have children can you say children are allergic to the dander/dog fur or it kicks up their eczema or DP (if you have one) has allergies/eczema so can’t risk having all that hair in your car?

gamerchick · 16/10/2020 10:29

You are legally required to properly restrain a dog in a car. You can't just have them loose in a footwell. If the car is full then there is no room.

Florencex · 16/10/2020 10:34

I am a dog owner and lover.

I would never ask anyone else to allow my dogs in their car. I think your friend is being really cheeky and if she needs to take the dog she should have offered to drive in her car.

Do you even want to go away with a dog? We sometimes go away with our dogs and it can change the type of weekend we have / things we do.

Flubber88 · 16/10/2020 10:34

If this is any help I have used a company called Animals at Home - not sure where you are OP but they are all over UK.
Check out www.animalsathome.co.uk They are bookable at very short notice and can arrange a pet sitter or host family for a dog. I've used them in the past for a diabetic cat needing injections. Just maybe an idea? I hope the weekend works out for you :)