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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a dog in my car?

126 replies

Aury26 · 14/10/2020 23:19

Me and 2 friends are going away for the weekend (2 hour drive weekend break).
My friend who owns an english bulldog was supposed to sort dog care, but for whatever reason didnt think to try and sort this out until 2 days before we leave despite booking this 3 weeks ago. Unsurprisingly she cant find anyone to look after her dog so is now asking me if she would mind the dog coming. AIBU to not want to have a big slobbery dog in my car?
I have told her no but she has got upset and claiming I am being unreasonable and that she wont be any bother. Apart from the hair, smell and drool I have a tiny car and already thinking about fitting in 3 people plus luggage and food to then have a bulldog in the passenger footwell too.
I think its mainly annoying me that im being forced into a situation i didnt want because she hasnt bothered to sort out arrangements for her dog until the last minute so now its my problem. AIBU?

OP posts:
BlueJava · 16/10/2020 08:04

YANBU, but personally I'd take the dog and ask her (up front) for half of the valet fee when you've returned. She takes the dog on the basis that she'll pay - it'll be cheaper than the kennel fee and saves you losing a friend by refusing the dog.

Hoppinggreen · 16/10/2020 08:04

We have a hairy smelly dog who we love to bits and he’s only allowed in my car, not DHs.
Also be aware that some previously dog friendly places aren’t letting dog’s in “due to Covid “ no idea why but we recently booked a table at a local dog friendly pub where we have been several times before and were told we had to eat outside as they weren’t allowing dogs in anymore. Luckily we had just finished eating when the rain started.
We enjoy taking Ddog away but it’s a very different holiday to when we don’t take him
I dont envy you the conversation OP but I think you are being very reasonable

randomsabreuse · 16/10/2020 08:10

Nope. We still haven't got the dog hair out of the seats of the car our dog was allowed in and he's been gone about 18 months. The short hairs are much tougher about getting well and truly stuck into fabric!

SRS29 · 16/10/2020 08:12

There is probably a reason why she couldn't organise anyone to look after her dog....I wouldn't want one in my house let alone my car. OP YANBU.

orangejuicer · 16/10/2020 08:13

YANBU. I would probably go on my own in the circumstances!

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 16/10/2020 08:16

I have dogs and would never dream of asking anyone else to have them in their car unless it was already used for their own dogs.

Your friend is being really cheeky.

Fluffybutter · 16/10/2020 08:17

Bulldogs especially are vary droolie, they stink and they fart ALOT .
I wouldn’t be happy and I love dogs .

FippertyGibbett · 16/10/2020 08:21

Sounds to me like she intended to take the dog all along.
Next time book accommodation that doesn’t allow pets.

StillMedusa · 16/10/2020 08:22

You are not unreasonable at all.
She either insures you on her car or hires one..and has a seatbelt or crate to accommodate the dog. I have a dog and adore her but my car has a layer of hair in the back and the dog ONLY goes in the back where there is a dog guard to prevent injury to either of us. I wouldn't drive with an unrestrained animal unless it was a dire emergency.

And she definitely planned it or deliberately didn't seek out care. Most of us manage to sort out dog care if we need to go away and there are lots of options. A bulldog will definitely affect your break, the poor things can barely manage a normal walk let alone a trip where you will want to be out and about. And finding dog friendly pubs or restaurants isn't easy at the moment!

SillyLittleBiscuit · 16/10/2020 08:24

I love dogs (I’ll look after the bulldog!) but, if I didn’t have one, I wouldn’t want one in my car. You’ll never get rid of the hair.

billy1966 · 16/10/2020 08:24

This is the sort of thing that a really selfish person does.

This would really annoy and change how I feel about the friendship.

This is about YOUR boundaries and her stamping all over them.

Switching your car insurance to her car for the trip is an excellent compromise.

However, I would be seriously unimpressed with her.
Flowers

SerendipityJane · 16/10/2020 08:24

Me and 2 friends

One of them isn't your friend.

Kisskiss · 16/10/2020 08:25

I have a dog and I love dogs, would have no issues having a friend’s dog in our car/ on holiday with ya, BUT I still think she is being massively unreasonable as it’s your car, and your holiday too abd you shouldn’t be forced to do something you don’t want to
Think she’s being pretty rude..

MzHz · 16/10/2020 08:33

@SerendipityJane

Me and 2 friends

One of them isn't your friend.

Absolutely

MzHz · 16/10/2020 08:38

The options are:

  • Get insurance for her car and drive all up there - she gets dog a harness- no negotiation
  • she (and the co-owner!) HIRE a car for you to drive at their expense
  • she (and the co-owner!) find and pay for kennels/dog sitter

To expect someone to take their dog when it wasn’t offered or agreed, when she hasn’t done anything to sort dog care - possibly never intended to - and is now trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do.

If this all goes tits up, would you have OTHER friends to go with you?

Asdf12345 · 16/10/2020 08:41

Borrow a dog trailer or tow bar box. Then it can come but outside the car.

Sunshineandflipflops · 16/10/2020 08:42

My bother has a dog and it has travelled in my footwell before but only for short journeys (I did't actually know it was illegal as I've never owned a dog) and he is a small-ish terrier type dog, not big one.

My main issue with this would be that taking a dog with you changes the holiday significantly, as I know from my brother bringing his with us in the past. Everywhere you go has to be dog friendly, they can be a distraction when you go out to eat (once you have managed to find a dog friendly place) and you have to factor in walks etc. All of this is fine if it's your dog and your choice but I do resent this when it's not my dog but impacts on my holiday.

I don't think YABU at all.

Sunshineandflipflops · 16/10/2020 08:42

*brother, obvs

S111n20 · 16/10/2020 08:42

I have an English bulldog, I love him to prices of course but he stinks, drools, farts and his hairs are like pine needles trying to get them out of fabric a hoover just doesn’t do it. My car is actually rather disgusting 😳 I would never dream of putting him in the footwell.

Nifflerbowtruckle · 16/10/2020 08:43

I love dogs and have a dog and I'd say no on the basis there isn't anywhere safe for the dog to be. In a major accident the footwell will crumple and that is where the dog will be. I wouldn't be complicit in putting the dog and the passengers and yourself at risk.

SerendipityJane · 16/10/2020 08:43

@Asdf12345

Borrow a dog trailer or tow bar box. Then it can come but outside the car.
Probably my age, but fuck that. Ditch the using loser and get some real friends. The OP is being taken for a right royal mug.
AudHvamm · 16/10/2020 08:46

You say the weekend away is to celebrate your friend’s birthday. And that the other friend coming is happy to have the dog come with you. In that case, I think it’s clearly your car, your rules, and you do not have to transport the dog, or can make whatever requests you want about taking it in the car (cleaning fees, driving your friend’s car instead, harness etc), but YABU to not want the dog on the weekend because it may limit your activities. 2/3 of the people going (one of whom is the reason you are going) want the dog there.

honigbutter · 16/10/2020 08:49

Apart from the travelling, I've never stayed in dog-friendly accommodation which allows you to leaved the dog when you go out (unless in a crate).

Is she just going to ignore this?

Dontjumptoconclusions · 16/10/2020 08:50

OP, call up some doggy places and see availability (even if it's slightly further) . I bet she hasn't asked around everywhere.

WorrierorWarrior · 16/10/2020 09:08

My view would be that the dog is more important than the OP to both the other people OP is going away with.
I am not a dog owner, but the ILs were. Some people can be right PITA over dogs and in doing so they put others off dogs.