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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a dog in my car?

126 replies

Aury26 · 14/10/2020 23:19

Me and 2 friends are going away for the weekend (2 hour drive weekend break).
My friend who owns an english bulldog was supposed to sort dog care, but for whatever reason didnt think to try and sort this out until 2 days before we leave despite booking this 3 weeks ago. Unsurprisingly she cant find anyone to look after her dog so is now asking me if she would mind the dog coming. AIBU to not want to have a big slobbery dog in my car?
I have told her no but she has got upset and claiming I am being unreasonable and that she wont be any bother. Apart from the hair, smell and drool I have a tiny car and already thinking about fitting in 3 people plus luggage and food to then have a bulldog in the passenger footwell too.
I think its mainly annoying me that im being forced into a situation i didnt want because she hasnt bothered to sort out arrangements for her dog until the last minute so now its my problem. AIBU?

OP posts:
TimeIhadaNameChange · 15/10/2020 00:12

I'd say no. I alwayd check when taking my animals in taxis and they're in carry boxes! It would never upset me if a driver said no.

A friend was thinking about coming to visit a few years ago and asked how I was with large dogs. I said I loved them but my pets didn't and there was no way she could bring hers to stay with us. She was absolutely fine with that answer, as she should be.

Original poster
Aury26 · 15/10/2020 00:14

@Twigletfairy

The dog absolutely cannot go in the footwell of your car.

Not only would that be illegal, but think what the fuck would happen to the dog in the case of an accident! I have seen first hand the damage that can happen, and it's not pretty

Did your friend ever genuinely have plans to find a dog sitter?

She told me 3 weeks ago she was going to ask her mum to look after it. Shes asked her today and it turns out she is working so can't take her. Yes fully believe she was never that fussed about finding someone as she knew the place we are staying is pet friendly so thought she could likely bring her with worst case scenario
OP posts:
Twofurrycatsagain · 15/10/2020 00:17

I'd find it a bit odd, that at a time when less people than usual are going on holiday, she can't get a pet sitter or kennels. Could she always have been intending to bring the dog?
I wouldn't want a dog in my car for the weekend either. And it could limit what you can do over the weekend as well. I'm not certain but I thought even pet friendly accommodation expected you to take the dog with you if you go out.

Junkmail · 15/10/2020 00:19

I own four dogs and love them but honestly they have annihilated my car. It’s covered in hair and general dirt. If we are going a distance or taking passengers we use my husband’s car because mine is close to a biohazard. Don’t do it. Not to mention the safety aspect. I mean that alone should be enough to say no to your friend. Telling her there’s not safely enough room is more than reasonable and if she can’t go anymore well it’s her own fault for not making arrangements.

Bargebill19 · 15/10/2020 00:20

Could you be insured to drive her car ?

Yadnbu not wanting her dog in your car - they do make a mess as you’ve said. I say that as a dog owning family and we designated one car as ‘the dog mobile’. Because we didn’t want both cats to smell or wet dog.

MiddleClassProblem · 15/10/2020 00:21

@Bargebill19

Could you be insured to drive her car ?

Yadnbu not wanting her dog in your car - they do make a mess as you’ve said. I say that as a dog owning family and we designated one car as ‘the dog mobile’. Because we didn’t want both cats to smell or wet dog.

Oh this is a good option if possible
Giraffey1 · 15/10/2020 00:22

I’m a dog lover / owner and would not even ask someone else to have to drive him.

The Highway Code says this:
Rule 57 of the Highway Code states: "When in a vehicle make sure dogs or other animals are suitably restrained so they cannot distract you while you are driving or injure you, or themselves, if you stop quickly.
"A seat belt harness, pet carrier, dog cage or dog guard are ways of restraining animals in cars

BeepBoopBop · 15/10/2020 00:22

If you squish the poor thing into the footwell - and bulldogs are solid and don't bed easily, apart from the fact it's cruel and against the law - you won't be able to have your car heater on as you will cook it!

MenaiMna · 15/10/2020 00:23

The very best you can offer is that she arrange a large comfortable car rental with crate etc at her expense for you to drive. (And good luck with that - loads of car rental places are simply shuttered due to covid-19). Otherwise she's really not getting a birthday this year.

waterthedog · 15/10/2020 00:32

As a one off as long as they dog is restrained I'd let it go but then I have a dog so perhaps more sympathetic. I also enjoy my dogs company and have taken it on holiday. It's her birthday weekend away too.

timeforanewstart · 15/10/2020 00:35

Insist that she buys it a harness and seat belt and cover to protect seat , they are not expensive and are also for dogs protection as well as everyone elses and of course ot is law
We have a waterproof seat cover or if last minute place a blanket where dog is sitting but he is used to car so sits nice and still and stays on blanket

Eekay · 15/10/2020 00:37

YANBU. And I love my dogs.

MiddleClassProblem · 15/10/2020 00:38

Yeah we have a rear seat cover/hammock thing too

MiddleClassProblem · 15/10/2020 00:41

Not sure ours is this brand but it’s like this so you can have one side down for someone to sit there or all up
Nobleza - Dog Car Seat Cover, Waterproof Rear Seat Hammock Cover for Dogs, Trunk Dog Blanket, Front Back Seat Protector for Cars Trucks SUV, 147x145cm, Black www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B081CLGVTV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_QX4HFbJYCM5W8?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

tabulahrasa · 15/10/2020 00:49

You can’t have a loose dog in your car... it’s not for the dog’s safety btw, it’s for the humans.

In an accident, you’ve basically got a loose passenger being thrown round the car - if it hits someone the dog could kill someone.

WeNo · 15/10/2020 01:13

YANBU Don't take the dog if you don't want to. I once went away with friends, and a dog (I wouldn't say ruined) put a downer on our holiday. Firstly, I'd booked & paid for the accommodation so when I was out voted on taking the dog along, I paid the fee for having pets in the property... and was never paid back later. The dog stank, and also peed on the carpet while its owner had a lie in, so the rest of us were left to clean up the mess.

Then as a pp mentioned, having the dog restricts what you can do. We either had to take the stinky dog along, or not go out for too long or go too far, in case it had peed on the carpet.

You can use the excuses about space & securing the dog in the car. Getting insured on her car would be pretty cheap if she really can't find anyone to dog sit.

I hope the situation or your friend don't mar the holiday. Have a lovely time!

Bowerbird5 · 15/10/2020 01:18

Dreading thanks for link I didn’t know that.

I once travelled with a foal in the backseat of a Saab. Policeman on a bike 🏍 gave a funny look when we pulled up at the traffic lights and it decided to whinny. Bit off the point😁

Dreading2020sSeasonFinale · 16/10/2020 01:10

@Bowerbird5

Dreading thanks for link I didn’t know that.

I once travelled with a foal in the backseat of a Saab. Policeman on a bike 🏍 gave a funny look when we pulled up at the traffic lights and it decided to whinny. Bit off the point😁

Not done foal in the back seat but I did do a 2hr trip to a veterinary hospital in the back of an Ifor Williams horse trailer holding a colt's insides in after a catastrophic gelding. I'd to duck and hide every time we went near other traffic. Standing up in a trailer is very, very naughty. (The gelding lived btw)
BoomBoomsCousin · 16/10/2020 07:25

Agree with MenaiMna - she can rent a car for you to drive (don’t split this cost) and ensure she had the legally required restraints.

Absolutely not unreasonable for you to point blank refuse to have the dog in your car and that is probably the best thing to tell her. “I point blank refuse to take a dog in my car so we’re going to have to come up with another solution.”

Ragwort · 16/10/2020 07:31

YANBU. And personally I just wouldn't spend a weekend with a dog ... it would make for a really unpleasant time if you are not a dog lover.

Your 'friend' has put you in a really difficult position.

Hyperfish101 · 16/10/2020 07:37

I’m just wistful that some are still able to go away for weekends with friends..........

But you are not unreasonable here and I have a dog!

Jokie · 16/10/2020 07:42

Another view: is your car owned by you? Or is it a lease car? If its a lease car, you may have rules about no pets being allowed in the car and there's a £250 cleaning fee. We've had several people caught out by this and get a nasty shock when delivering their car back

Onyourway · 16/10/2020 07:54

Also every pub or restaurant you go to will have to be dog friendly. It's going to be a pain....

BadDucks · 16/10/2020 07:56

Depending on what your plans for the weekend are it’s also going to be a total pain in the arse. Most dog friendly places have a strict policy about dogs not being left unattended so it’s going to have to come with you everywhere.

EmeraldShamrock · 16/10/2020 07:58

I suspect it was her intention from the start as the accommodation is dog friendly.
I'd be really annoyed.
I'd probably allow it so she could go otherwise you'll be the bad guy but I wouldn't be happy at all.

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