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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dominic West, would you forgive after a public affair

154 replies

Pjsandbaileys · 13/10/2020 18:08

Seeing DW and his wife in the paper today got me thinking, would you have stood by your man so to speak? I think I would have forgave an affair, one affair, if the offender wanted to remain wholeheartedly in the marriage. I don't think I could forgive being paraded like poor DW's wife. I know I don't know the whole story it may be all very innocent, I don't know either of them obviously but I do feel for the women in the story.

OP posts:
Artforartssake · 14/10/2020 12:15

@loobyloo1234

That photo of them kissing outside their house really turned my stomach. She looks like a complete doormat. Regardless of if anything actually happened outside of those photos, or even if it was a publicity stunt, the wife just looks like a mug. Cringe
Glad to see the sisterhood is alive and well. She probably wanted the press off her doorstep asap as, unlike him, she's thinking of the dc.
Bluntness100 · 14/10/2020 12:19

As xaid, I think that little media dance was led by her. And I’m fairly sure the note she was clutching was also written by her, it looked like a females hand writing as far as you can. Guess that sort of thing.

I suspect for three reasons, one, the kids, two, putting rumours to bed, snd three, showing the ow, Lilly, that she lost. Like a sort of dominant fuck you he’s mine gesture,

Because for lily, let’s face it, it must be a smack in the teeth to see him come out snd kiss his wife snd announce his marriage is strong. No ow likes that. No one wants to look like an irrelevant bit on the side,

I think it was very much a message to the ow as much as anything else.

crochetmonkey74 · 14/10/2020 12:25

I can't speak to their situation, I guess there is shock and legal protections etc- but absolutely never would I forgive an affair- in younger years, I did and put up with a toxic partner and I would never want to feel that terrible again- it has done years of deep damage . I have a nice DP now but even though I love him dearly, and everyone is entitled to one mistake- I wouldn't do the damage to myself again

Hopoindown31 · 14/10/2020 12:30

Celebrity and super-wealthy marriages are pretty weird. Sometimes it feels like they are like medieval royal marriages. You see loads of horrendous marriage-ending behaviour tolerated, presumably because of money and the cost and public exposure of a divorce.

Bluntness100 · 14/10/2020 12:42

The other thing is, this isn’t just a fling. They were openly and publicly acting like a couple. And didn’t give a shit who saw them. They were even socialising with friends. So those friends also knew them as a couple. They were clearly all very relaxed together. In addition he had removed his wedding ring which he normally wears.

So there is more to this. The wife’s statement of our marriage is strong etc is one thing, but they didn’t address the fact he was very openly acting like he was in a stable and open relationship with Lilly.

The wife isn’t letting go. She is clearly not going to permit herself to be the woman whose husband left her for a younger model and humiliated her. She’d obviously prefer to stay married than be that person and this will be on her terms.

But he’s out. Even the way he kisses her, his mouth is closed tight, he just accepts her kiss, he doesn’t kiss back, there is no pucker up as is normal when you go to kiss someone, he just stands there with his mouth closed tightly and lets her kiss him.

loobyloo1234 · 14/10/2020 12:44

@Artforartssake

Glad to see the sisterhood is alive and well.

Why would I praise her for standing on her doorstep kissing a man that has just been photographed all over another woman? In what world should that be commended?

TableFlowerss · 14/10/2020 12:44

No I wouldn’t ever forgive an affair. Imo one someone does that, they’ve already checked out of the relationship.

BubbleBoy12 · 14/10/2020 12:45

Honestly I don't think I could

dopenguinsdance · 14/10/2020 12:55

Totally 🤷🏽‍♂️about DW/LA behaviour. Doesn't scream affair & I think that too much is being made of it. But can't for the life of me understand why DW & CF did that cringeworthy photo call. It's made the whole not-really- newsworthy thing blow up. Why not just issue a statement saying nothing and take their kids away for half term to their Irish ancestral pile ( Covid restrictions permitted)

Bluntness100 · 14/10/2020 12:55

Why would I praise her for standing on her doorstep kissing a man that has just been photographed all over another woman? In what world should that be commended?

I’d agree with this, and I don’t think it’s a great example they are setting dor their kids.

Artforartssake · 14/10/2020 13:19

Why would I praise her for standing on her doorstep kissing a man that has just been photographed all over another woman? In what world should that be commended?

I didn't say it was. I was questioning why you are focusing your criticism on his wife, not DW who is the cause of this issue.

I've already said I wouldn't have posed like that. But the press would have no doubt have waited until she did make an appearance and she probably wanted them to disappear before her dc got home from school.

This situation will be bad enough for them with their father's photo plastered all over the press. It's Dominic West who should be worried about setting a good example!

Storyoftonight · 14/10/2020 13:26

I can't wait for it to come out that this was a PR stunt for a film and you are all going to feel incredibly silly for your many completely made up judgements.

loobyloo1234 · 14/10/2020 13:41

@Artforartssake

I think its pretty self explanatory that anyone with a brain cell would think he's a disgusting POS. Clearly no regard for his family. But for her to stand there, kiss him, and sign a weird little note for the world to see, just odd and not something I can praise sorry

Bouledeneige · 14/10/2020 13:45

If its a publicity stunt then Dominic West has sacrificed a lot of his reputation for nothing!

Strange then the reports from friends of his wife that she was 'devastated' and 'heartbroken' by the pictures. And that he chose to remove his wedding ring for a stunt.

Even if they spin it to seem like its was PR for a film many people will still believe that he's a cheating sleaze bag and that the PR is a cover up. I'm not sure many people will want to cast his as a male romantic lead now. Yuck I used to quite like him.

And either way, I wouldn't want to be his wife or child.

PicsInRed · 14/10/2020 13:56

Also clearly has a thing for impregnating aristocrats then treating them badly. Smacks of grubby social climbing to boot.

My guess is he has a pathetic class system chip on his shoulder - his family is wealthy and he attended Eton, but his father was a self made man, made big in tradie building work or something.

He would have heard plenty about that at Eton. Boys aren't kind to other boys and boys love to let other boys know where they stand in the pecking order. It's not subtle.

His revenge, naturally, comes in the form of devaluing, abusing and discarding upper class women - rather than the men who were cruel to him. Typical.

dottiedodah · 14/10/2020 14:05

Pics In Red I agree!

Bluntness100 · 14/10/2020 14:12

His revenge, naturally, comes in the form of devaluing, abusing and discarding upper class women - rather than the men who were cruel to him. Typical

Eh, they e been together over a decade and have four kids together. Plenty of couples split up. Plenty of men have affairs, this is nothing Bohr class, if he was all about abusing upper clas women he’d not have married her, waited a decade and had four kids in the mean time...

Storyoftonight · 14/10/2020 14:27

@PicsInRed

Also clearly has a thing for impregnating aristocrats then treating them badly. Smacks of grubby social climbing to boot.

My guess is he has a pathetic class system chip on his shoulder - his family is wealthy and he attended Eton, but his father was a self made man, made big in tradie building work or something.

He would have heard plenty about that at Eton. Boys aren't kind to other boys and boys love to let other boys know where they stand in the pecking order. It's not subtle.

His revenge, naturally, comes in the form of devaluing, abusing and discarding upper class women - rather than the men who were cruel to him. Typical.

Massive leap.

This thread has become utterly ridiculous off the back of a photo of him looking close to a young woman. You are all making things up . Please remember these are real people.

Artforartssake · 14/10/2020 14:35

@Artforartssake

I think its pretty self explanatory that anyone with a brain cell would think he's a disgusting POS. Clearly no regard for his family. But for her to stand there, kiss him, and sign a weird little note for the world to see, just odd and not something I can praise sorry

My point is Loobyloo that the wife always ends up getting the blame or taking the fall. You don't know her reasons why she did what she did.

MrsToothyBitch · 14/10/2020 14:36

Even if I wanted to forgive and move on, I think I'm too highly strung and neurotic to be able to get past it properly.

I think his wife looks very uneasy and as if she's been trotted out for the cameras. Whatever is actually happening, I hope she isn't just dancing to his tune. He's rather revolting.

MrsToothyBitch · 14/10/2020 14:38

@anomletteandaglassofwine am I correct in thinking that she's Catherine Fitzgerald and her sister is Nesta Fitzgerald?

loobyloo1234 · 14/10/2020 14:40

@Artforartssake

So as not to derail the thread, I never blamed her. I said the doorstep kiss was awful and that she looked like a doormat. The 'blame' lies with him. I never said otherwise

Artforartssake · 14/10/2020 14:44

Loobyloo So saying she looked like a doormat is not blaming her?

I agree about not derailing the thread so I won't comment further.

IrmaFayLear · 14/10/2020 14:54

I remember years ago Grant wotshisname’s wife came out with guns blazing in a sexy red dress after Grant wotsit went off with Anthea Turner. Much reconciliation and it was only an affair yada yada. He still went off with Anthea Turner.

This can’t be a publicity stunt. It might have been if DW had been single, but it’s made his wife look a fool and him a heel, so it’s crap publicity. I read Sarah Vine in the DM today, and she described him as a dog that has to be chained up. Who would want a dh like that? It would be a no from me...

AGoatAteIt · 14/10/2020 15:04

The only person who should be getting a pasting is the cheating husband, not his wife. I don’t think she’s a doormat I think she’s maybe in shock. It’s awful enough to find out your husband is a cheating shit but to find out at the same time as millions of daily mail readers must be unspeakably fucking bad- due to photos of him without his wedding ring on snogging the face off a woman young enough to be his daughter No less. She has 4 children she’s trying to protect and she has to do that herself given that her husband apparently won’t.

Hopefully when the shock wears off she divorces the cunt.

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