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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dominic West, would you forgive after a public affair

154 replies

Pjsandbaileys · 13/10/2020 18:08

Seeing DW and his wife in the paper today got me thinking, would you have stood by your man so to speak? I think I would have forgave an affair, one affair, if the offender wanted to remain wholeheartedly in the marriage. I don't think I could forgive being paraded like poor DW's wife. I know I don't know the whole story it may be all very innocent, I don't know either of them obviously but I do feel for the women in the story.

OP posts:
WatchTooMuchBelowDeck · 14/10/2020 09:25

I also think less of your wife for not chucking you

What an absolutely horrible thing to say. People who have been cheated on can make the decision to end the relationship or to stay. Either decision can be hard, take incredible strength and courage. To judge or shame someone (who has already been betrayed!) for making a decision that is right for them is not OK. You might think you would make a different choice and that's fine, but her decision is not your decision.

Artforartssake · 14/10/2020 09:32

It was a very bad one too, she would have been better to just keep her head down and her dignity, and not come out clutching that little letter and kissing him like that.

I agree. I would have made him face the photographers alone and got him to ask for privacy while they worked through some things. Trouble with that though is the paps then tend to hang around for "wife emerges from cottage looking miserable with shopping bag" type shot.

Or they could be telling the truth and the marriage is in good shape and the Rome shots were taken in a way to make him look bad. Actors tend to be physically uninhibited with co-stars; they spend hours working together sometimes in quite intimate circumstances. Maybe. Either way he seems to be enjoying the attention a bit too much.

Eugh, what is it with these Etonians ATM?

Stillfunny · 14/10/2020 09:41

Firstly, I would sack that agent. Did she not think that any publicity like this would be bad ? She should have said FFS , stop flirting in public to West and Lily.

And I wonder whose idea was the whole damage limitation idea of that cringing interview .
Whatever , it has backfired . I used to love West as an actor . Now I will always think of him as a smug , cheating bastard.

brightonmyday · 14/10/2020 09:43

Oh yuk! Weirdly I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about how at least women aren't expected to prop up their errant husbands like this these days. Was thinking about the David Mellor affair back in the 90s. For anyone too young to remember, DM was a govt minister who had an affair then paraded his wife and children before the press in a cynical effort to create a 'happily married man unfortunately led astray by a bad woman' image. Horrible, even back then, but why would anyone do that now? And why would they write that humiliating note? I imagine a PR would advise to just keep out of the public eye for a bit until it's old news.

BrumBoo · 14/10/2020 09:54

This article says it all about him and his respect for women/marriage:

www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/dominic-west-said-women-should-22837349

anomletteandaglassofwine · 14/10/2020 10:02

I knew them in university, she very much had the upper hand in the relationship. She was a sparkling, aristocratic 'it girl', he used to follow her around like a puppy. They split up and she married a much older man not long after graduating. When I read she had divorced and got back together with DW I hoped it was a happy ending. Her father died a few years ago and the daughters were left with the crumbling family pile which they tried to sell, it was on the market for quite a while. Then Catherine and Dominic must have decided to pump a lot of cash into it, there's a video on YouTube of them giving a tour of Glin Castle. They seem very happy in it, it's sweet.
My stomach turned at the sight of his smug face at that photo op yesterday. I felt so sorry for her, poor woman. I hope she's as confident as she used to be and has a strategy, but if she was blindsided by this she's probably not thinking straight at the moment. If she wants out, I hope she has a kick ass solicitor who will take him to the cleaners.

More than anything I feel so sorry for their children, especially the older ones who will have seen this play out on their phones as have all their friends. They must be mortified.

brightonmyday · 14/10/2020 10:25

[quote BrumBoo]This article says it all about him and his respect for women/marriage:

www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/dominic-west-said-women-should-22837349[/quote]
"Women should be more indulgent of affairs."

"Everyone should turn a blind eye to men’s behaviour between the ages of 40 and 50. Let it all blow over.”

Uurgh, what a smug, self-indulgent bastard. I wonder how he thinks women should behave between the ages of 40 and 50. Or maybe we should just spend our time working harder at tolerating men and not being 'daft'. What an unpleasant man he sounds.

Clarinsmum · 14/10/2020 10:35

Massive publicity stunt for her new Netflix show and the BBC show they are currently filming. Front page of UK press and blanket internet stories for two days running, you can’t buy that sort of coverage especially in these times of no parties or red carpets.

Hellothere19999 · 14/10/2020 10:37

Does anyone else think it was set up? I had never even heard of him before and it’s got them both lots of publicity whilst not really being too incriminating?

Hellothere19999 · 14/10/2020 10:38

@Clarinsmum haha I just posted does anyone think it was set up then saw your post 😅 yessss!

Taffster · 14/10/2020 10:41

He looks so smug outside the house! Apparently he does it all the time. She should dump him

HeIsNotTheSun · 14/10/2020 10:45

Reminds me of when the Beckhams went skiing after the Rebecca Loos scandal.

DartmoorChef · 14/10/2020 10:46

It was all a set up for publicity. His wife would be fully aware it was going to happen. Their manager was there and the photos were by backgrid who will have been called to do the shots.

ReneeRol · 14/10/2020 10:47

He thinks it's hilarious how both of these women are happy play "pick me" with him in public. What an ego boost for his middle aged self. That's what it's all about for him.

I feel sorry for his kids. It's scary for kids when they think their parents are going to split up. It must also be embarrassing for them in school.

Noitjustwontdo · 14/10/2020 10:48

He cheated on the Mother of his first child multiple times and his excuse is that he wasn’t ready to settle down (he was 28 when she was born, not 18). I do think people capable of cheating once can do it again and again if they so wish and he probably has cheated on his wife numerous times.

The parade in front of the press was just embarrassing, especially the little note he wrote and made her sign. I’m guessing they wanted the press to piss off though and if they said nothing, they’d just stick around waiting for someone to leave the house. They do have children to consider and I think they wanted the press to leave them alone for their sake.

To answer your question, my DH knows he would be out on his arse if he so much as kissed another woman.

DrManhattan · 14/10/2020 10:52

No! His wife's self-esteem must be through the floor, if shes putting up with this treatment. He is taking the piss out of her.

brightonmyday · 14/10/2020 11:01

@Clarinsmum

Massive publicity stunt for her new Netflix show and the BBC show they are currently filming. Front page of UK press and blanket internet stories for two days running, you can’t buy that sort of coverage especially in these times of no parties or red carpets.
If this is the case, what a horrible, grubby way to get publicity. He's basically saying to his kids that he has no respect for honesty, integrity or women. What price an Eton education?
workshy44 · 14/10/2020 11:04

Well she probably knew his career is over if she didn't support him and I would guess it pays for a lot of the maintenance on the stately home she inherited. I heard it cost 150K a year to run
Plus he wasn't actually kissing her, all over her yes and way OTT but maybe there is nothing to it
LJ has been around a long time too, she must know it would be career suicide to get involved with a married man 20 years old. Look at Sienna Miller, took her years to recover from the affair the Getty Heir

dairyswim · 14/10/2020 11:15

I think she agreed to the photos in the hope of shutting down the story so that the journalists might piss off from outside her house and her children wouldn't have to run the gauntlet of them every morning.

tttigress · 14/10/2020 11:28

Dominic West seems so arrogant in general, can't stand him!

loobyloo1234 · 14/10/2020 11:38

That photo of them kissing outside their house really turned my stomach. She looks like a complete doormat. Regardless of if anything actually happened outside of those photos, or even if it was a publicity stunt, the wife just looks like a mug. Cringe

yawnsvillex · 14/10/2020 11:38

No

nosswith · 14/10/2020 11:42

carbhunter I disagree with your view that other people's marriages are none of anyone else's business. The way someone treats their wife or husband can be an indicator of how they treat other people, especially for a man a sign of misogyny. I view men who repeatedly dump their wife when they get over 40 for a younger woman (or have an affair with one) as an indicator of their attitudes.

MorganKitten · 14/10/2020 11:42

For all we know they have an open relationship but the rules are they can’t get caught out - you’d be surprised how many well known couples have that agreement -and this is to make it look fine. Also I don’t think she looks uneasy at all in those pic, more like she is making him doing to fix the issue.

Coffeeoverload · 14/10/2020 12:01

He is a TOTAL shit.

The poor woman, really feel for her. The things he's said about women and them needing to tolerate infidelity are really disgusting.

Also clearly has a thing for impregnating aristocrats then treating them badly. Smacks of grubby social climbing to boot.