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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu and stingy or was my friend taking the ....?

84 replies

terreyyy · 13/10/2020 09:04

My friend borrowed £10 from me on Friday.
She said il give you it back on Monday.
Yesterday we had plans to go into town.
She rang me saying the weather was dreadful and she had £5 spare so let's get a taxi.
Got in the taxi and I told her I had no change but as soon as we got into town I would give it to her.
She replied "oh it's ok I paid for it out of the £10 I owe you anyway "
And give me £4 change
Then we were in primark and she said she had £70.
She spent too much and asked me to pay for her mum a pair of tracksuit bottoms £5 and she would give me the cash outside.
Anyway got outside and she said she didn't have the £5 in her purse.
She must have left it at home
Aibu or is this cheeky ?

OP posts:
mintich · 13/10/2020 09:09

So cheeky!! Stop giving her cash

BrimfulOfBaba · 13/10/2020 09:10

That is beyond cheeky. She's taking advantage.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 13/10/2020 09:14

So you paid for the taxi to town for the both of you. She’s a massive cf

Sunnydaysstillhere · 13/10/2020 09:15

Next time you suggest a cafe and order - then stand back and shove her to the till...

LittleOwl153 · 13/10/2020 09:17

It seems a bit of a common "im short you'll make it up" theme.
So she now owes you £8. £5 for the trousers and £3 for her share of the taxi.
You're going to have to be tough to get it back though I suspect.

FOJN · 13/10/2020 09:17

If the total taxi fare was £6 and not £12 then she is being a massive CF. How did she pay for the items in Primark? Did she not need her purse for that? I would absolutely stop giving her any money.

elQuintoConyo · 13/10/2020 09:18

Christ on a rubber bike that's cheeky!

She's taking the royal piss put of you.

Chalk this up to experience and don't lend her any more money. Zero.

I don't know your financial circumstances, but at least it wasn't £100+

Just go to a mirror and practise your "no, sorry" poker face until you've nailed it!

MuthaFunka61 · 13/10/2020 09:19

However long you've known this 'friend' is too long.
I'd be cutting my losses and moving on.
G'luck

terreyyy · 13/10/2020 09:23

The taxi was £4.80 she gave him £6 (including tip)
Then gave me £4 change (from the £10 she owed )
She had her purse but said the £5 for bottoms wasn't in.

OP posts:
duvetaddict · 13/10/2020 09:25

Is she normally like this or a one off?

pasturesgreen · 13/10/2020 09:26

Why on earth did you give her the additional fiver when she was already owing you? And paying for the shared taxi out of your money was not on. She's taking the piss massively!

Brefugee · 13/10/2020 09:29

so the taxi was 6 (including tip) and and she gave you 4 back? she still owes you 3 (because her share of the taxi is 3 like yours)

And also the fiver for the bottoms. So she owes you 8 pounds. Don't ever give her any money, and split everything down to the last penny in future. You are not there to subsidise her life.

FOJN · 13/10/2020 09:30

Wow she tipped him out of YOUR money; more front than Sainsbury's! That's next level CFery. I would definitely text and ask her for the £8 and my purse would be empty the next time she overspent.

LindaEllen · 13/10/2020 09:36

She is definitely a CF, and probably hoping you'll forget about it and she'll get away with it. I have friends like this, and okay I was probably too lax about paying for coffees here and there and never asking for it back so they learned they could take advantage, but if she asks to borrow that means it's due back, it's not like a coffee when she could assume it was either a treat or had to be reciprocated at some point.

Notcontent · 13/10/2020 09:38

If she is short of money (and it sounds like she is) why is she going on a shopping spree?

Cheeseboardandmincepies · 13/10/2020 09:41

Oh god stop giving her money.
I have someone like this I lend money then I get “but I brought this so now I don’t need to give it back to you.” Even though I didn’t ask/need it. I started saying I’m skint and can’t afford to lend money. Problem solved.
She’s a CF.

Scbchl · 13/10/2020 09:47

Text her your bank details and ask her to transfer the 8 quid she owes you. Five for HER MUMS trousers and her 3 quid share of the taxi. Shes absolutely ripping the piss!

Sunnydaysstillhere · 13/10/2020 09:48

Told this before but I had a friend who always pleaded she was skint. I paid for taxis, cafes, the brunt of night's out costs.
I only worked pt but felt bad for her.

Until she rocked up in a Mercedes convertible one day.
Backed away and took my purse with me.
Been nc for 5 years now..

PopsicleHustler · 13/10/2020 10:11

Gosh, this reminds me of a girl I used to know and had to get rid of, because she was just dreadful.

She would text me do you fancy meeting up today. Would say, yes. She said let's go for lunch. Can you give me a 10r. I would give it to her and never see it again. A few days later she messages me , I need to pop in to town by you. Are you doing anything. If I was free, I would say yes and say ok. She said ok can you give me a tenner as petrol isnt cheap. She would then park up in town , ask me for another 10 pounds and promise to give it back. She would then Leave me in the car for half an hour with both our small children and in the heat and it would drive me nuts. She would come back to the car after having been to the tanning salon. I'd be like seriously. I thought she had gone to grab something quickly from a near by shop. Another time , she left me and her newborn In her steaming hot car, outside a takeaway. I assumed she was just going to nip in to the takeaway to grab some food.

Again asks me for money, and runs off to get a tattoo. Then another time, we were talking and she asked me what I was upto, I said nothing just waiting on my husband to finish work and then hes picking me up to take me Tesco. She then replied, that she can take me to Tesco, as my husband was running late. We went together and she asked me for petrol, ten pounds again. I gave it to her thinking fair enough, she did take me Tesco but it's literally a 4 minute drive. The best part was she also needed to go. As she started filling up her shopping trolley with various items.

In the end, I got tired of her friendship. She was extremely jealous of me, if I was busy or out with someone else. None of my other friends would ask for petrol to meet up. I'd understand if we were going to the beach for the day and split the petrol. But why would you constantly ask me to go out and ask me for petrol when you are wanting to go there too. She was very vicious and nasty in the end. She said I was embarrassing to be seen with because I wear a hijab . If she didnt have money for things she would shop lift. She would ring me, shouting down the phone abuse and that I have just seen your husband with another woman. He wasnt. He met his cousin and his wife because his cousin owed him money. Bit by her descriptions he had met a hot blonde in the street. Rather than admit, she saw him also saw him with another man too. She would demand to come over all the time. I would tell her am busy, or spending time with my children, out, etc. She would say no you're not. She would even call me to say I have just seen you in your area so youre not really busy. She then told my neighbours my husband was beating me up when she couldn't have her way.
In the end I had to get rid.
Such a vile person. Never saw any money back. And this was roughly six years ago and am glad I have never seen her since.

nimbuscloud · 13/10/2020 10:18

Why are you such a doormat ?

Intelinside57 · 13/10/2020 10:21

Don't be a mug op.

wheretonow123 · 13/10/2020 10:23

Two choices - either forget about this money but make a mental note never to lend her money again.

Or send her a text to remind her that she owes you £8 from this trip to town. Prob need to be prepared to lose money and friend.

MrsNotNice · 13/10/2020 10:24

Wow... you need to find your voice girl your friend has issues

chatwoo · 13/10/2020 10:32

if she hasn't got cash, why isn't she just using a card instead?

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 13/10/2020 10:37

So what are you going to do about this OP?

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