Aibu and stingy or was my friend taking the ....?

[terreyyy]

My friend borrowed £10 from me on Friday.
She said il give you it back on Monday.
Yesterday we had plans to go into town.
She rang me saying the weather was dreadful and she had £5 spare so let's get a taxi.
Got in the taxi and I told her I had no change but as soon as we got into town I would give it to her.
She replied "oh it's ok I paid for it out of the £10 I owe you anyway "
And give me £4 change
Then we were in primark and she said she had £70.
She spent too much and asked me to pay for her mum a pair of tracksuit bottoms £5 and she would give me the cash outside.
Anyway got outside and she said she didn't have the £5 in her purse.
She must have left it at home
Aibu or is this cheeky ?

She's a CF.

Stop carrying cash! It's not Covid safe anyway. Just stick to Apple Pay and let her sort herself out.

It's a small amount of money but that's not the issue, her attitude is cheeky and that would annoy me

You need to practice saying, "sorry I dont have any spare cash on me, anyway you owe me x!"

Had this once , was in shop friends card wouldn't work I gave her cash , never paid me back . Happened again and I had no problem telling her to pay me back . She took the hump with it , I hate owing people so I'd never leave it if I owed her. It's the same with lending things they never get returned so now I don't lend anything at all , unless I don't want it back

I could not be friends with someone like that! Ditch the cheeky bitch!

Stop sharing money with your friend. You’re not an ATM!

Tbh- she doesn’t sound like she can afford taxis and £70 shopping trips. Stop going on them with her.

Stop being a mug and learn to say no.

From now on when I meet her I'm going to take a small amount of cash for myself and no bank card.
If she asks for anything I'm going to say I don't have anything spare.
It's not the first time she's done this but I deffo will make sure it's the last.

Are you going to ask for the money she owes you? I would.

Op I usually find it hard to say no to requested but what I started with is by asking for agreeemebrs to be honoured.

“Have you got the 10 pounds you owe me?”

“Before I forget, can I have the 5 pounds back ?”

If she said I paid from ur money for the taxi say

“Oh, so how does that work. It costs 6 pounds, so it’s 3 pounds each. U owe me 7 pounds not 4. Must be a mistake”

It doesn’t have to be confrontational if you don’t want it to be. But u also should’ve have zero input into agreements and decisions which impact you!

Once she realises you have input she will start considering you with her decisions.

She probably is just very negligent with money

I think it’s extremely difficult to go from passive to confrontational in one go.

But it’s fine to kindly and politely ask for promises to be honoured and that helps you set your foot back into healthy communication so that you don’t have to explode with frustration of it ever has to come to a confrontation (more likely than not).

From now on when I meet her I'm going to take a small amount of cash for myself and no bank card.

Dont be so weak. Just tell her straight, if she takes offence she is no friend.

I'd just avoid her and be busy when she's messages you. She will get the hint.
Don't give her any more money. She is taking the piss out of you.

I genuinely cannot stand people like that. Dump her and consider it a cheap lesson.

She is a CF of the highest order.

This would piss me right off....id stop going out with her as you know you are going to be used as a cash machine.

Definitely cheeky. Surprised she’s using cash given the current climate anyway! Stop giving her money.

@terreyyy

From now on when I meet her I'm going to take a small amount of cash for myself and no bank card. If she asks for anything I'm going to say I don't have anything spare. It's not the first time she's done this but I deffo will make sure it's the last.

No. Not 'I don't have anything spare'.

'No. I'm not paying for your shopping or anything else.'

@terreyyy

From now on when I meet her I'm going to take a small amount of cash for myself and no bank card. If she asks for anything I'm going to say I don't have anything spare. It's not the first time she's done this but I deffo will make sure it's the last.

Are you joking? Why is not taking your own money out your answer, instead of just saying NO? Come on - grow up!

From now on when I meet her I'm going to take a small amount of cash for myself and no bank card
Take your bank card with you because you might need it.

Just say no to her requests for money.

I feel your pain, exDIL asked me to get trainers for GS, she'd pay me the following Monday, 3 weeks later I am still £60 down. I do loads of childcare, had them both all weekend so she could go away, have them after school every day and most nights I feed them. I'm a pensioner and my pension is £750 a month so a significant sum for me but I don't push it as I don't want the kids to feel unwanted. Some people are just takers.

@terreyyy

From now on when I meet her I'm going to take a small amount of cash for myself and no bank card. If she asks for anything I'm going to say I don't have anything spare. It's not the first time she's done this but I deffo will make sure it's the last.

This isn’t really addressing the problem OP.

She’s clearly a massive moocher.

Ah well, in future you won't have any cash either, right? You won't get it back but don't give her any more.