To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

Typos sorry!

You know what I would do now as I am older and wiser? I would ask to be trained on tea making to prove a point! It's bullshit asking people to make tea. It's demeaning crap.

Sorry but I think YABU - they told you at interview this was a key part of the job and have been consistent about it since.

Given that, why would you set out to make shit tea? If you were told a key contribution was to produce minutes for a regular meeting you wouldn't set out to make them inaccurate with wrong spellings, would you?

I would be concerned, however, if there are other aspects of your role that you're unable to complete within working hours or to required standard because you are busy making tea. If that is the case I'd bring it up at the next 1:1 and ask for clarification of relative priority of tasks.

It is old fashioned but I think you just need to suck it up and do it. It was mentioned at interview so you were aware. It might end up less irritating if you just plan it into your day and then they don't need to hint as it'll just be done. Is it sucking up a lot of time so you aren't able to do the rest of your work?

@IsurvivedbutdidI

You know what I would do now as I am older and wiser? I would ask to be trained on tea making to prove a point! It's bullshit asking people to make tea. It's demeaning crap.

I'm not sure exactly what point you think that would make.

“I would ask to be trained on tea making to prove a point! It's bullshit asking people to make tea. It's demeaning crap.”

And do you know what I would do? State you made out you knew how to make a cup of tea when you agreed to do it in the interview, then release you from my employ. Playing games is juvenile.

@flaviaritt - absolutely! Imagine being so rude and entitled. Must be so privileged, never having had to do entry level work.

I've been in all sorts of roles, and I think YABU.

I've made the tea for everyone, and I've had teas made for me on request.

I didn't think I was doing something unimportant or servile by making the tea. I would never think tea was unimportant!

In general, I find MN collectively lean to a job description that is pin-accurate on tasks and duties. All I can say is that I've never behaved like that in any job, and I've advanced massively as a result. I still happily drop down to any level of mundane tasks if it makes sense for me to do them, whilst at other times asked colleagues to support me by subbing off more menial tasks.

We all work really well as a team and reward competent service in any form - and sometimes the most important form of service is pouring caffeine directly into the veins of a colleague doing something more business critical than you.

@FrankieStein402

Gobsmacked at the number of people saying this is fine - why the f*ck doesn't everyone make their own drink or have a rota?

It's not admin at all. Can you see a man being asked to make tea for the "managers"? it's ridiculously old fashioned and not recognising that everyone contributes to the success of a business.

Ha! DS was told it was his task to make the drinks in his summer job. He doesn’t drink tea or coffee and had no idea what colour it should come out, or even which was which once he’d made it.

I’ve failed as a parent.

Ha! DS was told it was his task to make the drinks in his summer job. He doesn’t drink tea or coffee and had no idea what colour it should come out, or even which was which once he’d made it.

Presumably he's capable of using a search engine and applying a bit of nous?

It’s tea. It’s for your boss. It’s not above you, don’t be ridiculous.

Really agree with thecatsthecats. Things would be entirely different if the OP had a male colleague who was the same grade but was never expected to make the tea.

@thecatsthecats

I've been in all sorts of roles, and I think YABU.

I've made the tea for everyone, and I've had teas made for me on request.

I didn't think I was doing something unimportant or servile by making the tea. I would never think tea was unimportant!

In general, I find MN collectively lean to a job description that is pin-accurate on tasks and duties. All I can say is that I've never behaved like that in any job, and I've advanced massively as a result. I still happily drop down to any level of mundane tasks if it makes sense for me to do them, whilst at other times asked colleagues to support me by subbing off more menial tasks.

We all work really well as a team and reward competent service in any form - and sometimes the most important form of service is pouring caffeine directly into the veins of a colleague doing something more business critical than you.

Agree. Most HR advice on MN is based on posters' revenge fantasies, not the real world.

We have had so many employees like the OP, who think it's beneath them to do mundane tasks, that we now only recruit for this type of role on a fixed-term basis or via an agency. If they turn out to be like the OP, we can let them go. IME, it's the least able, least competent staff who are like this.

Reminds me of my first office job back in the noughties, I was still studying at night.

Line manager's head was somewhere in the 1950s, would compliment me physically, never about my intellect or the job, just my looks, massively inappropriate remarks (way before Me Too) loved to send me on errands to get his lunch, make tea, pick up dry-cleaning ask me to visit when his wife was away and put her down. Basically a vile specimen.

I spat in his tea regularly before I left, he made my skin crawl. I hope she left him.

@Hobnobsandbroomstick - yes, absolutely (I just object when they expect me as FD to step in because PA is away and I happen to be female ). Making tea sounds relatively undemanding.
I'm rather distanced from it now having worked in a different sector for ages. Although I worked for one (now defunct) charity where the chief exec had a chauffer for her - and mostly her dog.

Honestly if you cant stick simply doing whatever the people above you ask of you, you won't get far in the corporate world.

I'm pretty senior and well paid but fundamentally,I do what my boss & her boss ask. Whether that's producing a detailed report on a specialist subject, analysing a huge volume of critical data, or cleaning the staff kitchen. You are paid to do as your told. I think theres a real generational attitude whereby people think obedient service is optional/not valued. Sometimes other people know best what will contribute most to making the business flourish and you do what those people ask of you.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

Quite - I relish the opportunity to get away from my desk and get stuck in with physical grunt work if needed. I find it quite important to developing ourselves as a business to help out with tasks for colleagues - it's how we learn from each other.

The woman who stuck to the letter of her job description and shouted off loudly or shirked any additional task was terrible at everything.

Whereas I have so many brilliant staff who'd equally happily get stuck in folding letters OR helping me develop a pitch.

Oh and for all those people making it a sexism thing....? The junior kid in my team is a man. He's the tea bitch because he's junior and there are times when that's how he can contribute best to the team output. He makes a good cup and is very much a self starter/takes initiative in keeping up the biscuit stash too, an attitude reflected across his work. I expect him to go far!

makes a good cup and is very much a self starter/takes initiative in keeping up the biscuit stash too, an attitude reflected across his work. I expect him to go far!

Absolutely this ^ wot @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland said

In my first PA role some 17 yrs ago I looked after joint MD's. One had to have room temperature water in his special jug at all times, the other had to have lightly poached salmon which I cooked for him every lunchtime and the other had a 2 weekly lunch menu I also had to cook for him !
I started as a temp and was taken on permanently.
They wanted what they wanted.

I think there are quite a few people in the world who want to be hired into an easyish job (those jobs tend to be quite junior) because it fits well with their life or because they don’t actually have the qualifications and experience for a more senior job, but don’t want to be treated like they’re junior. Being asked to do ‘menial’ stuff feels degrading to them when it’s actually nothing of the sort, just entry-level.

When I first started work as a PA in the 80s it was very much part of the job to make tea for the boss. By the time I retired last year though. the CEO and directors made their own hot drinks and chatted to everyone in the kitchen while they did it.

When I was team leader and very stressed, we had a lady appointed as temporary receptionist to cover illness and I’ll never forget how she provided me (and others) with cups of tea/coffee at regular intervals without being asked. I understand this is very different because this was not part of her job description at all. She just observed that I was constantly rushed off my feet and did it for me. However, I’ll always remember her kindness and in addition to thanking her every time, when she left I told her that her actions had been incredibly comforting in times of great tension. She was indeed such a lovely person. When the old receptionist came back, she was the sort who really resented making anyone tea or coffee, particularly if they were senior to her and I remember wishing the other lady had been able to stay as the overall atmosphere in the department had become such a positive, happy one.

If it was so important to the manager that making drinks was to be part of OP's role, they should have mentioned it properly at the interview. If OP had not asked that question, it's likely it would never have been mentioned.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Oh and for all those people making it a sexism thing....? The junior kid in my team is a man. He's the tea bitch because he's junior and there are times when that's how he can contribute best to the team output. He makes a good cup and is very much a self starter/takes initiative in keeping up the biscuit stash too, an attitude reflected across his work. I expect him to go far!

I've been in places and meetings where any female was asked to make the tea, regardless of any more junior men being in the room. It's more common than you think.

I have been heard to utter the words "possession of a dick is not a get-out-of-making-the-tea card", but I was more senior at that point and able to make the male junior make the tea. I only had to do this once for people to get my point. Generally, if we want a drink in a meeting, we make our own and take it in. If we have visitors in, the meeting host makes drinks.