To think I’m not the tea bitch?

[Ribrabrob]

Recently started a new job. Fairly basic administration job, although fairly well paid for the role. It’s just a temporary maternity cover role. Not really a job I enjoy or want to do but was rather desperate so took the job.

The job is okay and the people are fine, mostly quite nice. I work closely with the manger in a tiny office, the owner is based in an office nearby but regularly pops in. From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important in fact in my first interview I asked what was the most helpful thing the previous post holder did for the manager. The manager answered ‘oh it’s so helpful when she gets my drink for me’. I remember laughing thinking it was a joke but it wasn’t

Hints are regularly made about having a drink, at least twice before I get the hint and then I’ll offer. If I don’t offer she’ll then ask outright but always after hunting. It’s annoying, i would rather she just ask. Other people also make little remarks when they visit the office that she (manager) doesn’t seem to drink as much as when the other post holder was here! It’s so weird.

I don’t drink many hot drinks myself, usually just one in the morning and occasionally another later on so it doesn’t always enter my head to make one 🤷‍♀️ But of course I do offer when I am making.

The other day the owner was due in in about half an hour. Manager asked me to have a chat quickly and took ten minutes explaining to me how he’d like his tea and to try and have one ready for him.

Aibu to be annoyed by this or is it just a part of a basic admin role? Aibu to think I’m not the tea bitch?! Aibu to think how I make the tea really isn’t that important? I’ve worked in offices before and the CEO’s would always make drinks like everybody else!

I work as a PA for the directors in my company and have absolutely no problem making drinks and getting lunches. There are days when if I didn't do that for them they would not eat or drink all day. There is nothing shameful about making hot drinks for people, particularly when you were told in your interview it was a requirement of the role.

If I were you I would just have a proper conversation with your boss and say that you will do them a drink when you get in, one mid morning and one mid afternoon. If they want more than that they need to ask you directly. Job done, it's not exactly taxing and getting them into your routine will he'll you plan your day better.

Thinking your senior role makes you too damn special to make the drinks is one of those things that really eats in to my respect for a person. I know that's quite petty of me, but it does.

I know how it feels op. When I left university I had a temporary job as a translator for academic staff. I was being paid fantastic money to translate, but they kept asking me to make tea. It was ridiculous how many cups they wanted, around 6 each per day. I was too shy to say no. I used to spend ages making it and put in too much milk & sugar. They even asked me to contribute towards the tea urn repair bill, because I used it so much. I dont even drink tea/coffee!!!

From the start it’s been made very clear that making tea/coffee for them both is very important

So - it's part of the role, and it was mentioned in the first interview. We have an office manager whose role includes making tea and coffee for team members and when we have meetings and clearing up after. When we need her to make drinks, we say "hey, we're having a meeting in 30 mins, please can you organise the coffees and some biscuits?" Our work kitchen is tiny and only fits one person at a time so it's much more efficient for one person to do it and clear up afterwards.

I worked somewhere else that had a tea lady bring tea and coffee every day at 10.30am. We all downed tools and had a break together (including with her!), I think more got done in those informal chats than many of the formal meetings we had.

If you're not clear when you need to be making the tea, just ask for guidance and times of the day when they expect tea. I don't really understand all the resentment.

If it was made clear at the interview that this was part of your role, then YABU. Would you deliberately file things badly because you're not the filing bitch? Or answer the phone reeeeaaallllyyyy slowly because you're not the phone bitch?

Is it written into your contract? 😊

lattegracelaced07

It probably isn’t, but it’s probably not written in that they expect her to answer the phone or sort the post or deal with tradespeople either. It’s just the general support they hired her for.

Its a temporary role - just get on with it

If part of the job is to make the tea (old fashioned or not) then you are paid to make it, so you make it. Wouldnt bother me in the least, unless you took the job hoping for more specific admin experience for your CV and feel that tea making duties are limiting you getting more valuable experience.

Is it written into your contract?

Her contract likely says something like "miscellaneous jobs to support manager". It's not possible for contracts to list every little thing that someone might be asked to do.

Ps if they are generally a bit sexist about having a woman doing this stuff, I would make a point of getting female colleagues a tea every time too.

I don't cope well with hints and don't have very many hot drinks so I am afraid it would probably initially not occur to me to make tea, but it certainly wouldn't be a problem, the passive aggressive "oh I am so thirsty" would irritate me though!
I have gone from an office where I was berated for not making tea often enough, not being in the tea fund (I don't have hot drinks so didn't think I needed to be!) to an office where "I am making a drink would anyone want one?" seems to induce panic in fellow workers and "are you going to make it?" astonished faces ha ha you just learn what is "normal" for your office. Stick the kettle on when you go in, after lunch and for meetings, visitors etc. If nothing else it gets you away from your computer for a moment - very good DSE practice!

Thinking your senior role makes you too damn special to make the drinks is one of those things that really eats in to my respect for a person

It's not always this. The senior person can generate more value for the business by spending their time on something useful and paying someone cheaper to make tea.

I'm loving all those people who think that senior managers - especially in the public sector - have any say at all in arranging meetings! When I worked in the civil service I was sent invites for meetings and my PA would have to accept them even if it meant I had no time in between because they were arranged around lots of other very busy people and I needed to be there as well!!!

Thinking your senior role makes you too damn special to make the drinks is one of those things that really eats in to my respect for a person

Senior roles also tend not to: organise their own meetings; do their own filing; print out thing; sort their own expenses; chase up people who haven't replied to emails. That's why they employ an assistant. Nothing to do with being "special".

The way I see it is I’m paid to be at work, it doesn’t really matter to me what I do once I’m there (within reason - there’s a few tasks I won’t do)

@SecretSpAD

I'm loving all those people who think that senior managers - especially in the public sector - have any say at all in arranging meetings! When I worked in the civil service I was sent invites for meetings and my PA would have to accept them even if it meant I had no time in between because they were arranged around lots of other very busy people and I needed to be there as well!!!

No, they don't - it's a whole-organisation issue. Maybe the tech companies could do the world a favour and make the default meeting length in calendar applications 50 minutes rather than an hour. So people would have to consciously make them full hour.

My goodness! You are told an element of your job. You take the job. You decide you don’t like that part and therefore make a plan to do it badly and slowly.

Good luck with life OP. You sound bleating and entitled.

Offer to make the tea just like you should be proactively making the most of every part of your job (whether it’s lowly or incredible) and showing your boss what you can do.

So is it the hinting that's bothering you rather than the actual tea making? If so, just explain that you'd rather they ask outright next time so there's no misunderstanding 🤷‍♀️

@RedskyAtnight

Thinking your senior role makes you too damn special to make the drinks is one of those things that really eats in to my respect for a person

Senior roles also tend not to: organise their own meetings; do their own filing; print out thing; sort their own expenses; chase up people who haven't replied to emails. That's why they employ an assistant. Nothing to do with being "special".

Our current director makes her own drinks and offers to make them for other people. The previous one was very conscious of her role and status and didn't. Everything to do her with her thinking of herself as "special".

It’s part of the role, you were told about it in interview and unfortunately that’s one of the roles that junior members of staff need to do, if the culture or set up of the organisation requires it. I recruit PAs all the time and always make it clear that’s the expectation.

Hmmmm..... Obviously not many people on here have ever been an apprentice. I've lost count of the number of "whets" I've had to make...

I was once the junior (youngest / newest) in the office, although an equal grade to everyone else. Guess who's job it was to change all the clocks when they changed?

The thing is, as you progress, someone else makes the tea, and someone else changes the clocks... It's just part of nature's circle...

PlanDeRaccordement, telling OP in the job interview that tea making was 'helpful' is not the same as it being made clear that it's actually part of the job.
Again, a ten-minute discussion after being hired about the importance of making tea is not the same as someone saying really quickly and simply 'as part of the role, you'll need to make tea.'

But really, it's the constant hinting and the manager sitting without tea until the OP comes in, and then moaning about it, that's the most ridiculous.

Just to add that of course I'm able and willing to make drinks for myself and others, but all I am trying to say is that tea boy / bitch is a standard part of many junior roles, it isn't meant to be discriminatory, nor is it demeaning...

Ha! This reminds me of a job I had ages ago where I was an analyst and called into the directors office. I though cool some real work - he proceeded to give me his sandwich order. I bit my tongue and did it as was newly the country and it was my first role but boy did I feel gutted (sexist shot too - there where men on that team at my level).