Page 5 | The cremation where the sons were forced away from their mother

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 12/10/2020 08:44

The people at the crem were doing their job as they had been told to do it.

He could have done his job without being a heartless bastard though.

countrygirl99 · 12/10/2020 08:51

Surely if the family hadn't responded to the questions they should have been asked again and again until there was an answer. FGS losing someone is bloody stressful and people ate thinking straight. Just saying they were asked snd didn't respond is a pathetic excuse

LouiseTrees · 12/10/2020 09:15

@fancyginglass

You have probably seen the clip where the father has died and the mother is sitting on her own sobbing. Her two sons pull their chairs nearer her to comfort her and are told off. I'm sorry but this is barbaric. If that was my mother I couldn't leave her sobbing on her own - especially as there is no way the boys hadn't been in her house or comforted her - in fact they had been living with her for 2 1/2 weeks. I know they are trying to keep cases down but if you can't comfort someone who is bereaved what is the point?

I also think, she’s single now, she’s entitled to be in one of their bubbles. It’s so wrong they could easily have said, she’ll be in one of you guys bubbles, which. Then one of them could’ve sat and it’s not like they couldn’t actually decide later.

NoSquirrels · 12/10/2020 09:36

My dad has been pall bearing every (week)day since March, so there really is little reason for wheeling people in. There are some really decent funeral directors, celebrant, crematorium staff out there still.

Yes. Have a funeral coming up and it is very stressful to interpret the rules this year, and to honour the deceased whilst keeping on the right side of the law. Our funeral directors explained that if we wanted to handle the pallbearing between family, as we usually would, then it would have to be trolley only and walking alongside the coffin at an appropriate distance from each other - so not traditional bearing at all. This is because everyone would be in different bubbles and so cannot maintain physical distance. However if we were happy to let the funeral directors organise the pallbearing within their own team, the coffin could be shouldered by them.

It is hard- it’s a tangible gesture I know meant a lot to the men in the family who wanted to do it. But walking alongside a trolley at a distance is not the same, so the funeral directors will do it.

Similarly with the seating arrangements and refreshments afterwards it is so difficult. People also have different levels of comfort for being in a restaurant or whatever. Being respectful of this adds more admin burden to the bereaved.

It’s hard all round but compassionate people who can solve potential problems are so valuable and that’s what we’ve appreciated from the funeral directors.

tenlittlecygnets · 12/10/2020 21:47

@Ghostlyglow - Is there an exemption for traveller funerals then?

There seems to be. Police attended but didn't seem to try to enforce the law.

Pubs in our town were all advised by police to close for two days around a traveller's funeral recently, to avoid problems. Isn't that bonkers??

Hoctober · 12/10/2020 21:52

@feellikeanalien

I have been to 2 Covid funerals, DP and DDad. In both cases you had to sit in family bubbles. Had I not just become a single parent because of DPs death I would have been sitting on my own at DPs funeral.

The rules are inhumane and appalling.

So many people unquestioningly follow the rules and, as other PPs have said I am becoming very worried about the direction our society is taking. Showing humanity results in you being accused of spreading the virus. Reporting your neighbours is now seen as a virtue!

I really feel we are living in a nightmare with no end.

Luckily we had very pragmatic funeral directors and celebrant.

I'm very sorry for your losses, that must be so tough

Sewrainbow · 12/10/2020 21:55

Absolutely appalling!

The WAY he went about it.... did he forget where he was? I don't agree with separating the bereaved anyway but he could have approached with much more sensitivity and discretion.

kittensarecute · 13/10/2020 00:01

@fancyginglass

You have probably seen the clip where the father has died and the mother is sitting on her own sobbing. Her two sons pull their chairs nearer her to comfort her and are told off. I'm sorry but this is barbaric. If that was my mother I couldn't leave her sobbing on her own - especially as there is no way the boys hadn't been in her house or comforted her - in fact they had been living with her for 2 1/2 weeks. I know they are trying to keep cases down but if you can't comfort someone who is bereaved what is the point?

I don't want to live in a world like this anymore. Inhumane and cruel.