AIBU to be annoyed at people saying I'm buying too much for my baby

[peonyrose87]

I sent my family a picture of some baby clothes I've bought, literally 6 sleep suits, maybe a dozen vests, a snow suit and two hats.

They're all saying I've bought too much and to slow down, that other people will buy me things, and I'll end up with two much.

The things I've bought are all newborn/first size, so are for the hospital bag and the first few weeks. And I've really not bought a lot? I'm 21 weeks so still have a long time to go obviously but if I see something and like it I pick it up.

We live three hours away from family and I don't like relying on getting things for other people so why is it unreasonable to make sure my baby has clothes?

I had my daughter in a snow suit for most of winter. She was a baby that needed to be moving to sleep so we both spent a lot of time outside

Mine spent most of the time outside too. DC2 was a Christmas baby and at 2 weeks we moved to a temporary, horrible flat. We were out from 9-4 all day every day. Still didn't get when a snowsuit would have been used. I even had one, an unsolicited gift. It was just too bulky even for lying in the pram. Pramsuits, loads of layers and blankets so could be adjusted in shops etc were way more useful.

Made the mistake again with second DC of buying too many outfits that never got worn, you just can’t predict what will be practical for you day to day and what size your baby will be during which season! Sure go ahead and buy things if it makes you happy, I certainly couldn’t resist certain outfits when I was pregnant 😄

On the snowsuit issue, I bought a couple that I loved but ended up being given a few as well so we had too many - I needed them for the school run but baby had a growth spurt so was quickly onto needing the next size.

Snowsuits are just very unpractical. Fine if you put them on, stay outside and remove them when you come back home.

As soon as you step indoors, babies are far too hot in them and it's a faff to manhandle the baby to take them off. It is easier to buy a very good footmuff - the decent ones start between £100 and £200 and add enough layers which are easy to remove.

Sit on a bench yourself in the middle of winter and you will be frozen, so of course babies need to be kept warm, but it's not fun and practical to spend the day taking the snowsuit on and off.

It depends what you plan on doing really.

I didn't buy newborn, but mine was pretty swamped by 0-3 months. Still, he grew into them and I still use a similar principle now (buy a bit big and get more use from clothes). However, I did use a snowsuit as I did lots of walking and it was particularly cold that March along the seafront. I think what you've bought is perfectly acceptable. You may well reuse them for a second child or pass them on to someone else to reuse, most people I know do. We didn't get gifted many baby clothes and when we did, they tended to be babygrows 0-3 or above. We didn't get gifted any newborn clothes at all.

I think unwanted advice happens a lot from all places as a mum. I once walked a few meters between 2 shops on our local parade and was told crossly by some older man that baby ds should have been in a hat. He'd only just whipped it off and a few feet of being exposed to English autumn air on his head wasn't about to kill him! I think you're getting prepared and you've already said you weren't planning on buying extra newborn stuff, which I think is sensible. It's best to smile and nod (or raise an eyebrow if you're feeling off) and just enjoy your own experience. I'm not one for 'mindless consumerism' as a pp called it, but I think what you've got sounds pretty reasonable. Vests always get sick and wee on, so having a few extra does make sense. It's not like you've bought 20 designer outfits that will last 5 minutes with a real weeing, pooing, vomiting, dribbling baby in.

@PumpkinetChocolat like I said we live in the north east of Scotland, where it is super cold most of the year. We go for lots of walks and will continue to do so with a baby so a snow suit is needed.

Everyone said to me don't buy much newborn, especially as I'm 5'9 and DH is 6'4 , DH had to go on an emergency Tesco run to buy tiny baby things and DS was in newborn until he was around 3 months, he was always a size behind, he wasn't that small seven pounds nine, but he was scrawny , no chubby baby rolls. He's nearly two now and in 18-24 which fit him height wise but tend on the baggy side, next and H&M he's still in 12-18. Prepare however you want OP.

I don't think that sounds like too much at all! I think they're just worried that you won't appreciate whatever THEY want to buy for your baby, because you'll prefer what you've bought. Which is probably nonsense!

Babies go through a LOT of clothes when they're new! Depending on whether they're spitters, vomiters, leakers etc of course - but mine certainly did. I'd probably change their clothes 4 times a day for those reasons when they were new!

You keep doing what you're doing - but as has been said, buy some stuff in bigger sizes if you love it and don't want to leave it behind

Don't buy too much/they grow out of it quickly/you'll get loads of clothes as presents or hand me downs is one of the many many cliché lines parents-to-be hear.

This is one of the less invasive ones so start practicing your nod and ignore response now before the others come just before labour or when baby is here and you are stressed out and emotional! (mostly around how you are feeding, holding, sleeping, dealing with crying etc all wrong)

There is a little truth in the clothes one (which you will find out when you give away lots of barely worn newborn clothes), but if you don't mind then you do what you want, it is great fun buying baby clothes in anticipation of your baby arriving.

Our family tends to have big babies but I still bought some newborn sizes because we're in a bloody pandemic and the last thing I want to do is make DH stressed by having to quickly source some newborn clothes during some kind of lockdown. You might also have less visitors, and therefore presents, due to Covid.

I've stopped sharing stuff with my MIL. She hates or dissaproves of everything I buy. She's not horrible, I like her, and she's very enthusiastic about the baby but we clearly have a very different taste and different ideas. I just laugh it off and let it go. DH finds it infuriating though, so easier just not to share trivial news.

I only bought a few items as we did not know if we were having a Girl or Boy.

We bought 0-3 months but DD came 5 weeks early and everything swamped her, the hospital lent me a couple of items whilst my husband went on the hunt for premature baby items.

The bigger items were kept for when she was bigger.

You will always get people commenting, but I ignore - I waited a long time for my Child and if I want to spend every penny on her I will, I also knew I wasn't having any more - so I make the most of it.

My SIL always commented, but she doesn't say as much now when she has had all of my DD 's hardly worn (and some new) clothes for her Granddaughter!

Congratulations, do what makes you happy and enjoy every moment it goes so fast !

@peonyrose87 if you have problems getting the baby into a snowsuit/pramsuit when they are small I would highly recommend getting some kind of pram sleeping bag. Super snuggly and warm but none of the faff of getting tiny limbs into arms and legs! I got a lovely knitted one from Amazon, it wasn’t expensive. I also found it much easier when i got indoors somewhere and baby was still sleeping as I could just undo the buttons down the front and open it up rather than worry about the baby overheating or have to wake her up.

I think snowsuits are very cute but I seem to have ended up with children who’s arms especially do not want to go into them!

Not sure if someone else has already mentioned but I would also get a couple of 0-3month things too just in case you have a big baby. They will not be wasted as a small baby will grow into them. DC1 went straight into that size at just over 9lbs and 91st percentile in length.

I bought 3 packs of sleepsuits, 3 in each. One upto one month, and 2 0-3. A few smaller bits. Actually wish I hadn’t as I’ve ended up with way way too much stuff in the newborn, upto 1 month, and 0-3 category. Loads of gifts and hand me downs still keep coming my way!

Do what you want, but you'd better get a thicker skin once the baby is here!!!!

It sounds ok to me OP. Thy grow up very quickly though. But they can also need changing several times per day if they throw up.

A friend bought me a lovely snowsuit set for ds that was a coat, separate leggings that fastened over the shoulders & you could unzip the arms & hood from the coat to zip to the leggings to make a snowsuit or if it was very cold just put the coat on as well, we had a caravan, ds was born end of January & we were at the caravan end of march, didn't have room in the car for the big pram so we used a MacLaren buggy & ds in his snowsuit.

I am saying this generally but if people send people photos, put details on social media, forums etc. people will comment and we can all say 'well they should/should not have said that' but if it is out there people will comment and people can't control what is being said

I bought lovely outfits when presents with my first. Dh and pil not happy. It was just before scans.
Ds was born full term + and non of the clothes fitted.
So I would not buy much of newborn size.

Buy whatever makes you happy OP as long as you can afford it - anything else is just noise so please ignore and congratulations too.

In honesty I would look to have a tiny baby outfit up your sleeve. I had 4lb preemie, newborn hung off her, and a 7lb 37 week baby who also was drowned by newborn. 😊 just a thought. Oh and size 0 nappies are your friend too!

@Xmasbaby11

That's not much at all. I probably had twice as many baby clothes as that. Mostly in 0-3 which is good as dd was only in newborn for a few weeks. We did get given baby clothes but they were all bigger sizes eg 3-6 months, as I guess people assumed we had enough for immediate use.

I got waaay more too and used them. Bought even more post birth as baby was smaller than 0-3.

@schafernaker

In honesty I would look to have a tiny baby outfit up your sleeve. I had 4lb preemie, newborn hung off her, and a 7lb 37 week baby who also was drowned by newborn. 😊 just a thought. Oh and size 0 nappies are your friend too!

Agree with this. I expected a bigger baby as whole family were but got some 7lb sleepsuits and bodysuits off a friend and ebay on basis I hadnt then spent much and could donate if not needed. Baby came out just over 7lb but very petite so 7lb stuff was a bit big. Was very grateful to have it in my bag! I also stayed in so was pleased I ignored everyone and packed well. I had all I needed and used mostly everything

@PumpkinetChocolat

Snowsuits are just very unpractical. Fine if you put them on, stay outside and remove them when you come back home.

As soon as you step indoors, babies are far too hot in them and it's a faff to manhandle the baby to take them off. It is easier to buy a very good footmuff - the decent ones start between £100 and £200 and add enough layers which are easy to remove.

Sit on a bench yourself in the middle of winter and you will be frozen, so of course babies need to be kept warm, but it's not fun and practical to spend the day taking the snowsuit on and off.

It depends what you plan on doing really.

tbh we used our snowsuit a decemt amount as it was winter and I walked everywhere when DD was small. Also it was from asda and about £8 so way better for us than something starting at £100

@schafernaker I have one tiny baby set just incase! Thank you

People love having opinions. I’d stop sharing! And definitely don’t mention your name ideas to them

When I was expecting my first I got told so many times not to bother buying newborn size clothes as they only fit in them for two weeks etc. I went on to have a baby who weighed less than 2lb at birth, newborn size clothing fitted him from 4-6months of age! Not all babies are born too big for newborn clothes and not all babies grow fast.

Enjoy shopping for baby clothes and if you end up not using anything you can always donate it or save it for the next baby.