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Original poster

To walk away from silent treatment

124 replies

Nutmeggy · 10/10/2020 11:51

I have a long standing friend who periodically will ignore messages, texts and calls for a period of weeks or months if she is annoyed. I don't always know what has annoyed her as she won't speak! Just comes back weeks or months later as if nothing has happened.

This has happened again, I think because I said we would have to agree to disagree on something. Ignored my WhatsApp and texts but read them.

This time I'm just thinking of walking away, I sent a message earlier saying we have been friends for a long time but true friends talk it out and I find the silent treatment very damaging and not the way to resolve issues.

Instant answer back for the first time in 2 months saying she doesn't want to talk about it right now, I don't know what the it is but I've had enough

Have suggested meeting.up for coffee or dinner etc last 2 months and been completely blanked

Now I'm fed up with it!

OP posts:
Ginfordinner · 10/10/2020 14:49

And block before she gets a chance to reply.

wigglerose · 10/10/2020 14:49

It messes you up because while you're stuck feeding into the games she's playing you spend ages trying to figure out from scraps what went wrong, what behaviour or topic to avoid and so on.

This woman should be mature enough to talk about it or get over it.

VettiyaIruken · 10/10/2020 14:53

Good for you!

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/10/2020 14:55

Yes totally, if you.are upset with me tell.me don't ignore for 2 months and then be surprised and wounded I say I've had enough

A partner would be binned immediately for this behaviour but this is a close friend of decades

Just can't fathom it at all

OP posts:
Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/10/2020 15:15

Just got 3 replies and I now know why she was pissed off...2 months ago I had to work late and couldn't pop round , seemed fine with me at the time so I had forgotten about it

OP posts:
HostessTrolley · 10/10/2020 15:19

How old is she?

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/10/2020 15:23

45

OP posts:
Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/10/2020 15:24

Apparently.i was passive aggressive because I broke plans 2 months ago

At least I know, but 2 months ago would have been the time

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 10/10/2020 15:27

DO NOT REPLY now to those messages. She's shown that she can bring herself to communicate when she's afraid you might finally have had enough. This was all about punishing you and you were supposed to accept it. Don't be reeled back in.

Anordinarymum · 10/10/2020 15:28

@Nutmeggy

Apparently.i was passive aggressive because I broke plans 2 months ago

At least I know, but 2 months ago would have been the time

Perhaps you are insensitive and rude ? She seems to be easily hurt. if you are her friend you would know this. Not everyone is the same.
vanillandhoney · 10/10/2020 15:28

@Nutmeggy

Just got 3 replies and I now know why she was pissed off...2 months ago I had to work late and couldn't pop round , seemed fine with me at the time so I had forgotten about it
Christ.

Tell her to get to fuck.

hypochondriacseveywhere · 10/10/2020 15:30

Don't bother engaging anymore just block and delete.

FlatScreenTV01 · 10/10/2020 15:32

I ad this with a so called friend doing this to everyone else then it was my turn. Blocked her and was the best decision. She was a one controlling cow. She can't control me. Honestly life is far too short. You won't miss her. Other people I guarantee get sick of her too.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/10/2020 15:33

Hi

I don't think I am insensitive and rude , 2 months ago I was going to pop round after work and have a drink in her garden , then had to.work late so apologised and said still at work, had actually forgotten about this till she told.me.why she has been ignoring me

Would honestly have apologised more at the time if I had thought it was a big deal, if she cancels I've always been fine so didn't think it was an issue

OP posts:
Trixie18 · 10/10/2020 15:34

Just tell her not to bother and move on. Life's too short for made up drama 🤣🤣

SpottedOnMN · 10/10/2020 15:36

I had a friend who did this to me twice. The third time I had had enough and wasn’t available to be picked up again when she decided the time was right. We are friends again now but it took a few years for me to trust her again and the friendship isn’t as close as it was.

gluteustothemaximus · 10/10/2020 15:36

My work colleague gives me the silent treatment, and it's an awful form of bullying and abuse/control. To have a friend do it, would definitely mean....walk away.

Sadly, I can't walk away from the colleague I sit next to every day.

sapnupuas · 10/10/2020 15:43

How are you getting messages if you've blocked her?

Tistheseason17 · 10/10/2020 15:45

How are you receiving messages if you've blocked her?
Just ignore.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 10/10/2020 15:47

Confused but you blocked her

VettiyaIruken · 10/10/2020 15:47

Block her again. I'm sure you don't enjoy drama so just block her and move on.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 10/10/2020 15:48

She is now texting and although I have blocked I get a notification I have a message , samsung, not sure how to set up to delete and block?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 10/10/2020 15:53

How bloody ridiculous to sulk about that!!!

FlatScreenTV01 · 10/10/2020 15:59

I feel grateful you have posted this as I ended a friendship over the silent treatment as I have already stated upthread and I now feel I was 100% correct in doing so. Take the power back

MaxNormal · 10/10/2020 15:59

That's why she was ignoring you?
What an arsehole.

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