Reported to social services by coworker

[UnsocialServiced]

My frankly bonkers coworker has reported me to SS because she is concerned about my 3 old. I was wfh last week because my DS had a slight temperature. Whilst he was home and I was working he had a day of watching films. (3 films in one day). I'm not saying it was great parenting but I was in the next room could hear him at all times. He also kept coming into chat with me and play in between working etc. Anyway Coworker told me today that she was concerned about DS being ignored and felt she had no choice but to pass her concerns on. What will happen now?

How exactly did she let you know about this? Is it possible she was making a joke in a deadpan manner and there hasn’t been a report at all (clutching at straws...)

Definitely speak to HR. We've all had to allow colleagues access to a private side of life that we wouldn't ordinarily and she's used the opportunity to interfere and bully you with a malicious SS report. I wouldn't be on a video call with her again, and I'd want other parents to be protected from the tool. What a knob.

Ffs, like I said, I'm not blaming the OP,. The situation is what it is, some parents have been fucked over. It doesn't negate the fact OP left her 3yo in another room to just watch films.
We do people no favours in life by stroking their ego and telling them they did nothing wrongall the time. By OPs admission, it wasn't great parenting.
The person who called has no kids so has no idea about how difficult it can be. All I was trying to say that perhaps the person wasn't being malicious in reporting, but rather is clueless about how hard things are at the moment.

Don't pick and choose parts of my message and ignore the rest.

I would be making a formal complaint to your boss/HR department about your colleague.

Id be very surprised if Social services even contacted you. I'd be bloody fuming if I were you OP.

They may phone you but not much more, so please don’t worry

You where there, you where looking after your child, nothing is wrong with what you did as you also needed to work

I would speak to your manager now and tell them what’s she has done, and that you are upset and don’t think you can trust her or work with her anymore and see what they say

If they say there is nothing they can do you have to decide if you stay, in which case I would limit contact as much as possible, or find another job

They will probably relieved to hear of a normal family coping in a pandemic. Well done on earning a living and caring for your son in these times. She must be crazy for reporting you and then telling you what she'd done.

Don’t worry ss won’t do anything but you need to report this person to hr or your manager .

She called me. Saying she couldn't sleep for worrying and asked if there was anything she could do. She said she was worried the pressure to work was meaning I was neglecting DS and that she had let SS know so I could be offered the right support. I actually didn't say much in reply. I was just shocked. It's only now I'm furious and worried.

FFS. My 3 year old is poorly today, and I had very little sleep last night as I held them upright all night so they could grab a bit of sleep.
We've watched the gruffalo, pocoyo (for at least an hour & half) plus trolls World tour.
We've also hd playdough out, colouring, been in the garden for a couple of hours and played cafes.
Oh, and I had an hours nap on the sofa while tv was on. She was curled up with me, and I would have known if she moved .
Oh, and she's drunk squash all day- instead of her usual water as she refused to drink it, and I was worried about fluids

@FTMF30 you called it neglectful. It's not neglectful. Unless there's a huge drip feed then the child was fed, warm, comfortable and in easy communication pottering in and out of the same room as his mum.
If you think that's neglect you really don't have much of a clue.

@UnsocialServiced

She called me. Saying she couldn't sleep for worrying and asked if there was anything she could do. She said she was worried the pressure to work was meaning I was neglecting DS and that she had let SS know so I could be offered the right support. I actually didn't say much in reply. I was just shocked. It's only now I'm furious and worried.

She is insane and I would be livid.

She's not concerned she's bullying you.

I'm absolutely furious on your behalf, how fucking dare she? Judgemental, ignorant little witch! Social services wouldn't even dream.of taking that seriously or they would have to investigate every working adult in the country at the moment

Also please dont worry about SS, they are often demonized but they work very hard to support families and certainly dont want to cause trouble or break up families.

Oh god, don’t worry about SS, you were at home and available, your kid was watching TV while feeling unwell. What’s the problem?

And really, parents who are superglued to their kids... make very insecure kids.

It doesn't negate the fact OP left her 3yo in another room to just watch films.

If you actually read the OPs posts you will find that she was in and out of the room and that the 3yo could come into her room.

The child was ill so probably needed a day of rest. In my day we would have been left in bed with some toys and a parent looking in occasionally in between bits of housework.

Nothing will happen, I doubt your even hear from social services. Some children will be really suffering right now due to lockdown, they aren’t going to have time to follow up a report of child watches tv all day once.

Most parents have done it, i know I have. It’s not fantastic parenting, no but sometimes it’s the easiest and best option. Children don’t end up in therapy years later for having watched a couple of films in a day now and then

Actually, Unsocial, that update does make them sound the well intentioned sort of fool. Living under the cloud of Covid has made many of us a bit out of whack.
Maybe they can come around and do your windows or something to make life easier for you? That might help colleague sleep well.

Ive been teaching music lessons online throuhout the pandemic (self employed musician with no other income other than teaching now so had to be done) and my 3 year old played happily in the background watching Pixar through many a lesson until my husband came home. With the lockdown, ban on childcare and a key worker husband doing 12 hour shifts a day 6 days a week what on earth else was I supposed to do? Anyway he’s not been neglected at all he’s absolutely fine, with me the whole time, playing happily etc. This woman needs to get a grip and you need to report her to your hr!

Uhh I work at the council and this is how all our single parents/both WFH parents (including me) worked from lockdown to now. Our employer had no problem with it (it was that or paid leave) I'm sure many in the social care department worked like this also.

Batshit woman.

Blimey - this was standard back in the day - you taught your child to play happily on their own and entertain themselves so you could get on with the laundry with the twin tub*, making the beds with their sheets and blankets, cleaning the floors, preparing the soily vegetables so you could eat etc, with them and you popping back and forwards to make sure everything was going ok.

• no digging holes in the garden on laundry day

Op just to add a bit of reassurance. I work in social welfare, wfh from end March until very recently (thankfully I'm only part time), DS was 3yr7mo at the start of lockdown.
As part of my job I speak to social workers occasionally, the ones I was in contact with had their kids at home too.

@Aquamarine1029

I would be making a formal complaint at work. This nothing but bullying and harassment. Reporting you to ss for this is egregious.

This - definitely.

Does she intend reporting half of the wfh parents who have been FORCED to do this?
There aren't enough sw
Let them deal with the real cases & serious cases (which have increased because of lockdown & the side effects of stress on families)
That doesn't mean its ideal - but reality is the situation is peculiar.
All I would say op is when you aren't working double the effort.
& try to get gaps or make the most of them during the day (if you have them) to do something organised & interactive with dc

I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP. You've done absolutely nothing wrong! Do not beat yourself up, or worry that you are in trouble.

I would certainly be raising this with management/HR. This woman is interfering in your life, and it is either malicious or down to some kind of severe anxiety on her part - she 'couldn't sleep' FFS???

Make sure you don't share any details of your life outside work with her from now on.

MTMF50 YAB totally fucking U

Don't pick and choose parts of my message and ignore the rest

You said it was neglectful. It’s not neglectful.

@FTMF30

Ffs, like I said, I'm not blaming the OP,. The situation is what it is, some parents have been fucked over. It doesn't negate the fact OP left her 3yo in another room to just watch films. We do people no favours in life by stroking their ego and telling them they did nothing wrongall the time. By OPs admission, it wasn't great parenting. The person who called has no kids so has no idea about how difficult it can be. All I was trying to say that perhaps the person wasn't being malicious in reporting, but rather is clueless about how hard things are at the moment.

Don't pick and choose parts of my message and ignore the rest.

I didn't "just" leave him in another room to watch films. He also had toys/ books. Was chattering to me and singing and happily coming back and forth between rooms. Please don't pick bits of my post and ignore the rest either.