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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reported to social services by coworker

434 replies

UnsocialServiced · 09/10/2020 17:39

My frankly bonkers coworker has reported me to SS because she is concerned about my 3 old. I was wfh last week because my DS had a slight temperature. Whilst he was home and I was working he had a day of watching films. (3 films in one day). I'm not saying it was great parenting but I was in the next room could hear him at all times. He also kept coming into chat with me and play in between working etc. Anyway Coworker told me today that she was concerned about DS being ignored and felt she had no choice but to pass her concerns on. What will happen now?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/10/2020 17:52

She doesn't have children herself

Everyone's a perfect parent til they have kids.

fishywaters · 09/10/2020 17:53

Tell her it is immoral and like calling the fire engine for a Neighbour’s bonfire. You can actually kill someone else indirectly by wasting the time of essential services that are there to protect those in need.

MysweetAudrina · 09/10/2020 17:54

I've done that I'm sure on days I haven't been wfh. My whole organisation are wfh atm and we regularly get little visitors appearing on Zoom calls. Neglectful would have been sending him into nursery with symptoms. A child in their own warm, clean home, snuggled up watching films, with someone checking on them regularly and most likely pampering them is so far off the scale of neglectful.

UnsocialServiced · 09/10/2020 17:54

@Viviennemary

I don't think it's a good idea to leave a three year old in a room alone nearly all day. But I doubt social services will be interested.
He wasn't in a room alone all day. I was in and out of the room he was in and he was in and out of the room I was working in. He's 4 in December if that makes any difference.
OP posts:
IdkickJilliansass · 09/10/2020 17:55

So frustrating as it’s this kind of shite that takes resources away from kids that are genuinely suffering.

Suzi888 · 09/10/2020 17:56

It’s what we all had to do, isn’t wasn’t ideal but we had no choice!!!!!!!!!

workshy44 · 09/10/2020 17:56

This is so bizarre but I would say in fairness to her it does sound like she was being genuine and it wasn't done maliciously

She is obviously a bit bonkers, I mean to actually tell you too. She is obviously not all there so wouldn't get overly upset about it
You poor thing, you have done nothing wrong

LadyIronDragon · 09/10/2020 17:56

I don't think it's a good idea to leave a three year old in a room alone nearly all day

Well I agree with what your saying but that's not what the OP says happened. 3 films is about 4.5 - 5.5 hours spread across approx a 12 hour waking day? The OP said he came through to play etc.

Hobbesmanc · 09/10/2020 17:57

@FTMF30

Not sure what will happen now. But that was a bit neglectful tbh. You shouldn't be working with a 3yo at home. I'm not exactly blaming you as parents (mostly mums!) have been put in impossible situations due to covid. I can see how it would have come across to your colleague and why she would be concerned, not enough to warrant a call to SS though.

My guess is they'll not take the report any further or do ahome visit to check all is well. That is an uneducated guess though.

What? You're as bad as the barking co worker. It may not be Mary Poppins parenting - but sitting a three year old in front of the telly for a few hours is hardly neglectful. Crap comment to make
Tavannach · 09/10/2020 17:58

Social services won't be concerned, but you do have to raise this with your manager in case the bizarre behaviour escalates.

TheTrollFairy · 09/10/2020 17:58

There isn’t enough SS to deal with the children who are actually neglected. SS will do bugger all, especially if they have been told her concerts are because he watched tv when he was ill.
Worst case they will come to your house and find a happy 3y/o

Mrsjayy · 09/10/2020 17:59

No parent had a choice.i don't have young children but every single one of you who were WFH with no school or childcare deserve ALL the medals.

DueNumberTwo · 09/10/2020 17:59

Your co-worker is an arsehole and I'd actually raise a complaint with HR about this.

What does she think most parents were doing whilst there was no childcare if they weren't eligible for furlough?!

islockdownoveryet · 09/10/2020 17:59

Oh good god , based on you wfh and she was watching tv .
Most kids have been brought up with the tv as a babysitter.
If that's neglect we have all been neglected.
I'm not sure what she expects you to do ? Most bizarre and she actually told you .
I can just imagine the phone call yes I want to report someone for neglect that's right she left her child watching tv while she was working in the next room .
Yeah the social services will be rushing round there .
Seriously it's not on her doing that and I'd bloody well tell her so . I'm sure you should be able to report her for something if not at work as it's malicious.

DueNumberTwo · 09/10/2020 18:00

*Not sure what will happen now. But that was a bit neglectful tbh. You shouldn't be working with a 3yo at home. I'm not exactly blaming you as parents (mostly mums!) have been put in impossible situations due to covid. I can see how it would have come across to your colleague and why she would be concerned, not enough to warrant a call to SS though.

My guess is they'll not take the report any further or do ahome visit to check all is well. That is an uneducated guess though.*

Oh do fuck off. Might be more neglectful to not keep a roof over your child's head or food on the table, no?

EKGEMS · 09/10/2020 18:01

@FTMF30 You really need to get out more because clearly you've been very sheltered in your obviously limited dealings with other humans if you think it's neglectful to work while your child is home from nursery, sick.

Terrace58 · 09/10/2020 18:01

Omg

3 yo spent the day resting, probably drinking fluids and having snacks, while watching age appropriate tv.

Clearly every parent in western society needs to have their children removed.

Elsewyre · 09/10/2020 18:01

Report her to hr Grin

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/10/2020 18:01

This is so bizarre but I would say in fairness to her it does sound like she was being genuine and it wasn't done maliciously

If she was genuinely concerned then she could have called the OP privately and asked if there was anything she could do to help or if things were ok.

audweb · 09/10/2020 18:02

SS won’t do anything this is no where near anything that would consider concern. Most social workers have been doing the same during the pandemic, tv has baby sat a lot of kids. Literally no harm done.

Harehedge · 09/10/2020 18:02

I would report this harassment to whoever manages you both and not give it another thought.

EIRA3 · 09/10/2020 18:02

Wow - SS have enough to do! Depending where you are they may just ring you to do welfare check (may be policy) then you'll never hear from them again!
What an absolute cow!
I had childcare issues today WFH
So my 22 months sat besides me and while I was on the laptop we have watched 3 of the toy stories films! Bit of play doh in between!
My 12 yr is off with sore throat, he was on the Xbox most of the day! While toddler napped I did my phones etc!
Your doing great job!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 09/10/2020 18:02

@FTMF30

Not sure what will happen now. But that was a bit neglectful tbh. You shouldn't be working with a 3yo at home. I'm not exactly blaming you as parents (mostly mums!) have been put in impossible situations due to covid. I can see how it would have come across to your colleague and why she would be concerned, not enough to warrant a call to SS though.

My guess is they'll not take the report any further or do ahome visit to check all is well. That is an uneducated guess though.

Get a grip.
EKGEMS · 09/10/2020 18:03

@Viviennemary Stop ASSUMING and making up shit

Besom · 09/10/2020 18:04

Erm no she"s mad. This will not be any sort of concern for social work ffs.

Yes you should speak to your manager.