Worst meeting imaginable today - what to do?

[dublingirl66]

Many many zoom meetings in and I have to say today was the WORSE meeting imaginable

Do I say something to the person who took over

She was awful!!!

Literally took over
Wouldn't let anyone speak
Asked me time and time to slow down when I was slowly and clearly trying to explain something

Wouldn't let a translator join us via zoom as she hadn't put her camera on and she assumed it was someone trying to invade the zoom call

I felt like crying at the end and so want to say something
The family involved felt let down
And I'm just so angry I let her take over
Aibu to maybe speak to her and give feedback ????

That sounds difficult - what was the context of the meeting? Were you trying to communicate with a foreign speaking client via translator?

Yes, speak to her. Sounds like you have nothing to lose. Maybe she didn't realise how badly she came across, some people are very un self aware

Yes so I work in education

We were trying to help a very vulnerable family
She has been involved more than I have
She literally took over and there was no stopping her
Why she felt the need to not let the translator join I will never know
Sk then that meant the parents and children set there having no idea what was going on

Painful
Painful two hours

she is a trainee - I know that may not mean very much but when I was training in this job I would never have spoke to people like that and dominated a meeting

Bloody hell I'm surprised a trainee had the balls to be so domineering. I'm not sure how it works in your field but could you give feedback to whoever is supposed to be responsible for her?

Does the person who took over work in the same organisation you do? Can you speak to whoever is meant to be supervising her as a trainee?

Could she have been feeling nervous and behaved the way she did because she panicked (not justifying her behaviour, just trying to understand it)?

Is there anyone you can report it to? If it's a safeguarding or child protection issue and the parents involved didn't have access to a suitable translator that's pretty shitty, and should be rectified immediately. I'm not one to push for reporting people to senior staff but in this case you really do need to because the family you're attempting to support can't actually access the support you're offering at the moment.

Yes she needs open and honest constructive feedback. Either that or just kill the call next time. What can they do?

Yes maybe

I sat back a little bit because I thought ok maybe she is nervous
Maybe something has happened to make her do this

But it was non stop
It made me really upset
The family just looked sad and confused

School staff were like wtf

She did not let the dad speak he had one concern and tried maybe 5 times to bring it up and she would not let him

Ughh I hate zoom anyway sometimes but my god this call today has put me in such terrible form
Please I felt like I couldn't step in and say something
I have been in my role for almost two decades and never seen this behaviour

If she was a trainee, she must have a mentor. I would speak to them ASAP.

Yes exactly

So any zoom users
How common is it for someone to get invalid access to a zoom meeting?
So the translator we really needed called in with a screen name we didn't recognise and no video
Therefore
Bossy boots said no to letting her in
As she thought it was fraud
Wtaf???

We Had clearly sent a invite for the meeting to the translator

You need to address it and advocate for the family. Sounds like another meeting with family and translator needs to be rearranged with clear guidance that she is attends only to listen in.

As a trainee I would be grateful if someone gave me useful feed back

How the heck do I say ummm you took over and made us all feel like we were stupid!!

You must speak to someone about her behaviour. If the Dad was unable to raise concerns and the family were unable to understand due to no translator then their needs are not being met at all and this will have been a terrible experience for them. They must come first so she has to be spoken to, either by you or by her manager. What's she's done is not right at all.

I don’t think you can just try to join a meeting if you have been invited and have the link? You can randomly call individuals but not a meeting.

Why would you NOT speak to her? Not being provocative. Just trying to understand what dynamics are behind your reluctance.

Will you be following up with the family too? Either directly or indirectly through the appropriate channels. It sounds like they're more in need of clarity and reassurance.

Great thanks all

I thought I was overreacting because I feel so sad for the family but also because she made me feel like shit

But it should not have happened
She didn't call the meeting
She is a professional who needs to allow others express their opinions
It was two hours of hell if I'm honest
Rushing people
Belittling them

Telling the school off
My god it was relentless

And yes I know many of us are struggling with work at the minute but this was on a whole
Other scale
These parents didn't have the power to tell her to stop

Yes, say something. Some of the families I work with are vulnerable and occasionally we'll get one like this invading calls etc because they think they know what they're doing.
They need shutting down.

Definitely say something. That family deserves the help they're entitled to, including the interpreter. This is disgusting behaviour from someone in a support role

What kind of department is she in, council?

It should have been perfectly easy to check the credentials of the interpreter, so refusing even to ask about that was ridiculous.

Did his person have control of the meeting? Maybe in future you need to ensure someone else sets it up so they can mute her when necessary.

I think you need to bring up the fact that she wouldn't allow the translator in. I can't see why she thought they were trying to gatecrash - as if a random person would find the link and try to join.
I think you need to step in so that the vulnerable family can get what they need.

Sorry just to be clear I will address this
I guess I'm wondering if I go to family first see if I can arrange another meeting or just give this person feedback along the lines of
Maybe next time.. let us speak or don't block the interpreter this family so BADLY needed
Seriously 😢😢😢😢😢🤯🤯

Was she an educational psychologist? If so, you definitely need to have a word with her supervisor, as she sounds like a potential disaster area.

Who was the person/group advocating for this family? Where were they?
They should be the ones who called the zoom and were in control of it. It's the only way to shut down these people.

You probably do need another meeting if the family was prevented from taking part in or understanding this one.

Also the way I work is the total opposite of hers
I listen a lot and then at the end will ask appropriate questions and formulate a plan

She was not listening
There was so little respect it is actually really really upsetting me thinking back

And why after years and years did i not feel I could step in and say STOP !!!

She didn't set the meeting up

You need to give feedback, either directly to her or to her supervisor.

But why didn't you intervene? It sounds like you are more senior so some of the responsibility here may be yours. Who was the meeting chair? If that was you, then it was your role to intervene at the time, and definitely follow up after. There are lots of techniques you can learn for dealing with bad meeting dynamics, and dealing with difficult conversations.