Worst meeting imaginable today - what to do?

[dublingirl66]

Many many zoom meetings in and I have to say today was the WORSE meeting imaginable

Do I say something to the person who took over

She was awful!!!

Literally took over
Wouldn't let anyone speak
Asked me time and time to slow down when I was slowly and clearly trying to explain something

Wouldn't let a translator join us via zoom as she hadn't put her camera on and she assumed it was someone trying to invade the zoom call

I felt like crying at the end and so want to say something
The family involved felt let down
And I'm just so angry I let her take over
Aibu to maybe speak to her and give feedback ????

I didn't organise the meeting
Didn't chair

So read what I previously said
The meeting was taken over and now I will be rectifying it tomorrow

I do understand you were not the chair but would it not have been appropriate albeit awkward to say you can’t continue in the meeting in this manner as the family are not able to participate

Yes trainees need to learn but I'd think this family could do with not being the ones to learn on again, and she could do with some constructive advice before her next meeting.

Which I did and nothing happened

She should have allowed the translator to speak up or even explain why her camera was off.

If the translator was using Zoom on her desktop computer, it may well not have had a camera inbuilt, therefore she couldn't just 'turn her camera on'.

I don't understand why no-one in this situation felt unable to speak up for common sense, allow the translator in and let them speak and make themselves known (and in the unlikely event she was a troll or Zoom bomber, boot him/her out again) and stop this other woman from steamrolling the meeting.

^able!

Her behaviour sounds atrocious and unprofessional. But I would also be questioning why several other professionals stood by and allowed it to continue. In may ways it's worse.

OP, sounds like you accept it wasn't right but are planning to sort it out for the family tomorrow, and will know what to do next time. Can't do more than that now.

So I did
I asked the interpreter to say the initials of the child and the reason for the meeting

I didn't want her to be kicked off and asked for her to be contacted so we could have her in the room

*other than making sure constructive criticism gets too her/her supervisor too.

Yes @crankysaurus

Thanks again all !!!!

sounds horrible, OP. That poor family.

As a professional, I'd have expected you to message the chair (private chat) at the time to ask her to either halt the meeting, or make decision to let the translator enter the call. I would also have messaged the Trainee, if it went on as much as it did. I do feel that those of you with experience let the family down - by letting this trainee derail the meeting.

You've had excellent advice, and I see you have a plan.

As to feedback - we grow when we know the steps to take. As a woman, and as a professional, I see it as my job to lift up other women. Always. You must give feedback, as long as it is honest and respectful. It may be hard to hear, but it is the duty of those of us who have done the work to lift up the next generations.

@C8H10N4O2

A meeting full of experienced professionals let a trainee disrupt and dismiss a meeting set up to support a vulnerable family?

Everyone in the meeting let the family down, not just the trainee.

This is my feeling too.

Any one of you should have immediately halted the meeting until an interpreter was there.

Why did any of you never mind all of you think it was appropriate to carry on knowing that the one person who would make it possible for the subject of the meeting (the family) to understand what was being said wasn’t present!

You all should be ashamed of yourselves, good luck in getting the family to trust you and open to all of you ever again. They should be thinking that if this is the “help” they are damned.

I've only ever used zoom once during lockdown when whatsapp video calls weren't working so I'm not au fait with the logistics of it - but can you not throw people out? Or is it only the chair person who can do it?

I'd speak to the head etc and agree a level between you both and kick her out if possible if it starts again.

It sounds like you did everything you could

I hope it's not the trainee that is going to get thrown under the bus when everyone involved messed up.

@crankysaurus

*other than making sure constructive criticism gets too her/her supervisor too.

Well yes, that would be the first port of call for a professional. Not perhaps discussing it on social media. Which is perhaps the most unprofessional thing to do, even if you think it is anonymous.

You must have been so frustrated! I've chaired TAF/TAC meetings. This sounds awful but I've had it happen before on occasion. In my experience if someone behaves like this, they don't tend to listen to feedback. So you may need to speak to someone else about her.

On another note, the entire meeting was pointless once she'd denied the translator access since the point is to support the family, they should be front and centre. For which they obviously need to be able to contribute and understand.

You're definitely not overreacting.

Whoever was chairing the meeting - or was supposed to be chairing - was presumably the zoom host?
They should have muted her, or booted her out of the meeting.

Given that they didn't, I would address the matter with the trainee and/or her supervisor, and the chair, or consider making a formal complaint.
Whilst the trainee was disruptive, whoever was supposed to be chairing sounds more at fault.

It's shit, but don't beat yourself up about it. Zoom meetings have been a learning curve for everyone.

One of the best things about Zoom is the mute button though.

"As brutal as this may sound, sometimes people need to be upset. Sometimes people need a stern talking to. Sometimes people just need a bloody good bollocking. Nobody likes upsetting people, but in certain situations you need to accept that you need to tell someone off and they might react badly but it's a necessary conversation."

This.

I'm actually very much a softly softly type, hate stepping on toes or offending folk but sometimes, people like this do need to be told straight. If she is a trainee, then one day she'll be qualified and it's bolshy arrogant folk like this that go for promotions and end up in positions of power, still acting like this. Straight down the line feedback sounds like what this woman needs.

Gosh OP I thought I had a bad call yesterday but this is insane!

Completely agree that this was a failing in the part of the chair. I'm amazed he or she didn't firmly take the lead from the person speaking so much.

I'm actually very much a softly softly type, hate stepping on toes or offending folk but sometimes, people like this do need to be told straight. If she is a trainee, then one day she'll be qualified and it's bolshy arrogant folk like this that go for promotions and end up in positions of power, still acting like this. Straight down the line feedback sounds like what this woman needs.

As opposed to qualified people who can’t protect a families interests or manage a meeting properly. They get to pass the blame onto the trainee and ignore their own poor practice.