I have tasted the worst drink in Christendom. Can you top this?

[Iamthewombat]

Category, as Ru Paul would say, is alcoholic drinks aimed at women.

I bought a bottle of Malibu Strawberry Spritz at Morrison’s last week. I like Malibu (don’t judge me) and strawberries and fizzy things.

I opened it last night. Christ, it was awful. Tasted like a weird blend of kids’ medicine and saturated sugar syrup. Not sure how you can make something like this taste un-fruity. And it was virulent pink.

Down the sink it went, even the plughole seemed to be resisting it by vomiting up the pink foam.

I can’t imagine anything worse but maybe you know differently.

YABU = yes, there are worse alcoholic drinks aimed at the ladies and I’m going to give you details.

YANBU = no, nothing sounds worse than Malibu Strawberry Spritz.

Video proves drinking and driving not good, neighbours had social distancing drinks during lockdown. We got so hammered on homemade wine, we took turns pushing each other up street in pram. Seemed like good idea at the time. One lost the use of her legs and needed a bucket! the other was adamant she had an escalator at home, I got pramlash, puked and had pantie accident. Good night all be told

That Strawberry Malibu sounds like an abomination OP.

Japan is home to some gross yoghurt drinks. Particularly the carbonated version of Calpis (or cow piss, as I used to call it). Fizzy milk, even the thought is making me gag. My then boyfriend used to drink his bodyweights worth of it.

wheresmymojo had the exact same experience in rural Missouri.
OH panic buying in the about to close gas station.
The added indignity was that I purchased a single can of the Budweiser chelada out of curiosity a couple of days earlier, we both tried a sip and poured the rest down the sink.
He ought a six pack of a different brand. I smugly guarded my vodka...

You're being totally unreasonable, as are half the posters on this thread.

The worst drink in all of Christendom is obvious.

It's the cup of 'tea' made by an elderly relation of your new boyfriend that consists of

Basics 'Tea' Bags the dust from the broom used to sweep the floor of the bin sheds at the teabag factory - used twice because 'you can get two cups out of every bag, you know'.

Half a pint of milk.

Luke warm water.

Left to fester 'brew' for around an hour.

Presented to you in a mug that was last properly washed circa 1976 for the Queen's Silver Jubilee.

Probably contains a tablespoon of lumpy sugar with unidentifiable black crispy bits in it.

And is served with stale Bourbons that have been in the tin near the fire since 1998 and a slight dusting of dog hair from an animal that crossed the Rainbow Bridge when you were about 17.

And you still drink some of it before the pondwater overcomes your wish to appear polite to his Great Auntie Phyllis.

@Mamascoven

Peach schnapps is horrendous. Makes me gag just thinking about it.

I wouldn't touch it. It smelled exactly how I would imagine drinking The Body Shop's Fuzzy Peach perfume would taste.

@TeddyIsaHe

The worst drink in the world is San Pellegrino chinotto. Jesus wept, it’s vile. I had a huge gulp in the car on a v hot day and expected it to be a refreshing delight. Had to spit it out the window lest I puked it up in the footwell. Eurgh.

I love Chinotto. Where can you buy it though? Tastes like Kinny (Maltese drink).

I'm assuming that you haven't tried M&S's Creme de Mince Pie liqueur?! Sounds Christmassy, warm and cosy. Tastes really quite revolting. Like night nurse mixed with cream and some spices. I can usually do my best to knock back a baileyesque liqueur, but even I struggled and had to concede defeat.

Still, not as bad as banana 20/20 I suppose and at least it wasn't bright blue!

@mitzik

Actually, yes, you are right!!
And what are those crispy black bits in the sugar?

Unicum?? I think that I swallowed a fair amount of that 'beverage' as a student.

@Ddot

I think that I'm going to have to try a cheesie willy now! Thankfully all the ones that I've drank from in the last weren't cheesie!

Tequila - two of the worst hangovers of my life have been because of it, one where I genuinely thought I was dying.

Irn Bru

Egg Nog

An overdose of Martini Rosso at the first work Christmas party you ever went to six months out of school is the worst drink in the world. Trufact.

Am crying at Kleenprep!! Is there really such a thing?!

Travelling around Cambodia with some friends Nd the guys all had to get drunk and try the Viagra cocktails. Next day, they all overslept and were completely hungover. Very nearly missed the next flight. They just made it to the airport on time, through security (although god knows how they evaded a serious patting down) and boarded the plane....still with massive erections! 😂

There's coconut water and there's coconut water. The one out of the coconut is tolerable.

The one that is water drawn up from a well in the middle of a coconut grove in a Kenyan village is something else entirely.

What was that stuff Joan Collins advertised on the plane,i had it at a party when I was 18. Oh that poor bathroom. I brought up a kidney

Was that Cinzano Bianco? (showing my age)

I love the san pel chinotto it tastes like angostura bitters. We have it at work. It’s the only place I have ever seen it

Butter beer at the Harry Potter studios. Thoroughly disappointing, tasted like shit.

And what are those crispy black bits in the sugar?

My money is on fossilised ants.

I'm assuming that you haven't tried M&S's Creme de Mince Pie liqueur?!

Christ, no. How can that be a thing?

Somebody mentioned Taboo upthread. I would like to know how Taboo has always cost £4.99 a bottle since 1986. How? It was quite nice when it first came out (well to my 15 year old self). It tastes rank now so I think that the list of ingredients must have changed. It is now surgical spirit, sugar and orange food colouring, I’m guessing.

Thank you all for the excellent suggestions. I’m sticking with the fermented mares’ milk in a goat leather bag for the win, against extremely stiff competition.

BTW when googling I discovered that MaxMara make a leather jacket called ‘Unicum’. Why? Are they messing with our heads?

Arthursleep; oh yes, although it's spelled Klean-Prep. I worked in a hospital pharmacy, and it's prescribed for a total umm "clear-out" before gastric and bowel scans.

And you have to drink jugs and jugs of kleen prep, i had a bowel operation in 1990 and had to drink, the taste is urgh .

Mitzik you must have had tea at my DHs late grans when she was alive. Your description of her tea is so accurate it’s spooky.
She would also serve fruit cake of an unknown vintage and ‘ham’ sandwiches.

@MitziK

You're being totally unreasonable, as are half the posters on this thread.

The worst drink in all of Christendom is obvious.

It's the cup of 'tea' made by an elderly relation of your new boyfriend that consists of

Basics 'Tea' Bags the dust from the broom used to sweep the floor of the bin sheds at the teabag factory - used twice because 'you can get two cups out of every bag, you know'.

Half a pint of milk.

Luke warm water.

Left to fester 'brew' for around an hour.

Presented to you in a mug that was last properly washed circa 1976 for the Queen's Silver Jubilee.

Probably contains a tablespoon of lumpy sugar with unidentifiable black crispy bits in it.

And is served with stale Bourbons that have been in the tin near the fire since 1998 and a slight dusting of dog hair from an animal that crossed the Rainbow Bridge when you were about 17.

And you still drink some of it before the pondwater overcomes your wish to appear polite to his Great Auntie Phyllis.

Ha, one of my oldest friends is a terrible tea-maker. I don't know WTF she does do it, but it's always somehow curdled .

Of course, no one dares tell her but there's a little eye-meet when she offers to make the drinks.