Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let 5 year old choose her own glasses frames?

142 replies

SaucyHorse · 07/10/2020 21:35

Even though they're not really what DH and I would have chosen.

She wants ones that are pink and purple and quite rounded. I went with her to the shop and pretty much let her have free reign, but we also brought home a few other frames along with these on loan to try out. These are her first glasses and she is happy and excited about them.

If we were choosing, DP and I would pick the ones that are a more muted purple and more rectangular as we think they suit her face better. DP is frustrated with me for giving her the impression that it was completely her choice.

I was thinking that it is her face and that I want her to feel positive about her new glasses, so I'd like to just let her pick. But I do sort of see his point that maybe the frames will last a while and bright pink and purple might not be what her future self would pick. And perhaps we have some responsibility to guide her towards something that suits her face shape best? Whilst obviously still letting her have some input.

It's not like they are hideous at all, though.

Who IBU?

OP posts:
littleducks · 07/10/2020 21:48

Mine always had free rein. But we always went to specsavers they had two pairs from kids range for free. Decision on the day no loans.

Original poster
SaucyHorse · 07/10/2020 21:48

Thanks for backing up my instincts! I never wore glasses as a child but DH did and he says he was never allowed complete full reign over the frame choice so I guess that's where he's coming from. He says he just accepted this and wasn't upset about it. But I just think why shouldn't she have pink and purple glasses if that's what she really wants.

They are those bendy material ones that are supposed to be hard for kids to break, so I was hoping they'd last a while.

OP posts:
CruzControl · 07/10/2020 21:49

Her face, her choice. Let her choose.

BadgerWatch · 07/10/2020 21:50

When have they advised for her to be re-tested? At that age their eyes often change quite quickly, so even if they don't get broken they don't last that long.

CruzControl · 07/10/2020 21:50

I had glasses at that age and they don't last very long because they get broken or lost or scratched or chewed on - or your head grows.

Sirzy · 07/10/2020 21:51

Unless your DH is very young I would be amazed if there was much choice to be had, I got my first glasses in 1995 and it was pink, blue or black frames as the only options!

FatGirlShrinking · 07/10/2020 21:51

I used to have new glasses every year as a kid, mainly because the lenses get scratched but also because the prescription would change and it usually isn't cost effective to have them put new lenses in old frames. Also the arms start to work loose and the screws get threaded or the nose bridge starts getting oily and fading. As an adult my glasses last longer but as a kid no chance.

Talcott2007 · 07/10/2020 21:52

I would get 2 pairs anyway if finance isn't an issue - the chances of one be lost or broken is relatively high at that age. So a good compromise is one you like and one she does. At the end of the day they are functional not a fashion statement so if it was my DD4 I'd let her pick like she does with anything appropriate for her to do so.

Eg. When we buy new shoes - I give her a choice from a pre approved selection ive made - her priority is of course the 'pretty ones' with the glitter flashing lights but for me it's more important that they have good flexible soles so I discount any that don't meet that criteria 1st and beyond that even if I personally think they look like clown shoes its up to her.

FatGirlShrinking · 07/10/2020 21:53

@Sirzy I had some amazing giant framed Deirdre Barlow style glasses somewhere around 1995, they were all shades of pink and purple in little splotches.

BillywigSting · 07/10/2020 21:53

My ds has had glasses since he was 18 months old.

As soon as there was any sort of choice available to him (ie, these are literally the only ones that are made for children this young) he has had total free reign within the bounds of reason.

The only criteria they have to fill is they have to fit properly and he mustn't be able to peek over the top of them.

He hasn't had a pair last more than 9 months and is 7 now.

Like pp said, it is something that is on their face for the whole world to see. Of course they should get a say in it. (but then I let dc decide on his haircut and clothes too again within reason eg no shorts in winter, no snow boots in summer, no haircut that is against school rules. He is generally sensible and it saves a lot of battles)

MiniCooperLover · 07/10/2020 21:53

Each time her prescription changes she'll likely get new frames as they bend out of shape, their heads grow etc. But she is the one who has to wear them: my 9 year old has them now and I let him choose 2 pairs because it's him who wears them not me.

user13745865422563 · 07/10/2020 21:54

Who doesn't look back at younger photos and cringe occasionally? There are whole threads on here dedicated to that pursuit.

If it works and makes you happy at the time that's what counts. The present is the only thing that's real.

InTheLongGrass · 07/10/2020 21:55

Are you on buy one, get one free with frames? We paid precisely £0 for 2 pairs of glasses for DS2 recently. We went for 2 different shapes to let him see what he likes.
We usually end up contributing to glasses for DS1, because we thin his lenses (script is at 5 now), and he has expensive frames to get them to fit, so the NHS voucher doesnt cover it all. We are fortunate this isnt an issue for us.
Basically, the kids choose the frames, with a bit of guidance, I've never said no to a pair.

BillywigSting · 07/10/2020 21:56

@FatGirlShrinking were your glasses from specsavers? I had a pair like that in the 90s and absolutely adored them.

I would genuinely wear them now they suited me so well

SnackSizeRaisin · 07/10/2020 21:57

Let her choose. I always ended up being talked into having the pink ones as they supposedly suited me. Pink plastic NHS frames suit no one. I still feel a bit icky about them now. Having choice over something you wear every day is really important!

Original poster
SaucyHorse · 07/10/2020 21:58

@Sirzy

Unless your DH is very young I would be amazed if there was much choice to be had, I got my first glasses in 1995 and it was pink, blue or black frames as the only options!
That's a fair point, I think he meant more shape though. He says his mother brought home a few frames on loan to try like we've done, so there were clearly some options.

Thanks to everyone pointing out other reasons they probably won't last ages anyway even if she doesn't break them.

OP posts:
imissthesouth · 07/10/2020 21:58

You were right to let her to choose, it's her who has to wear them after all

whatsleep · 07/10/2020 21:58

If you take the prescription to spec savers you will get 2 pairs of glasses (BOGOF). In which case you could choose a pair each.

FatGirlShrinking · 07/10/2020 22:00

@BillywigSting they would have been from spec savers yes, wow you're luckier than me, they did not suit me!

InDubiousBattle · 07/10/2020 22:00

I was hoping they'd last a while yeah, me too. I'm on first name terms with the 3 members of staff at our local opticians, they can locate ds's records in about 20 seconds flat! Ds is 6 and has had glasses for a few years- they have been replaced many times! Let her have the ones she likes.

Cakeandcustard123 · 07/10/2020 22:03

I'd let her choose. It's more important she feels happy and confident with them than whether you like them.

Wheresmycider · 07/10/2020 22:05

Got my first glasses aged about 6. First pair were purple and green metal frames. Followed up with an acrylic frame that was clear with purple and pink splatter effect (Timmy Mallet would have been proud). Later had some full on Deardrie Barlow frames in my teens.

Glasses have fashions, and there will always be those that you look back at photos and wonder why? Most important thing now is making sure she is happy enough wearing them to keep them on.

ClarencesMum · 07/10/2020 22:06

I got my first specs in 1988 and there were plenty to choose from! In the first few years I had my little pony (yes, I was that cool) glasses then huge green and purple ones. Pink ones like Deirdre Barlow and later on round lennon like ones. None really suited me now I look back but I was happy as larry!

BillywigSting · 07/10/2020 22:08

We are also on first name terms with the staff in our local specsavers. I wouldn't take him anywhere else because without the free spare pair he'd only have glasses about 50% of the time. Hmm

Quartz2208 · 07/10/2020 22:09

If she is short sighted her prescription will change fairly quickly - DD and myself both changed glasses every 6-12 months at this stage (DD may well have had 3 pairs in a year) so I would not necessarily assume they will be here that long

And yes totally her choice

Swipe left for the next trending thread