To not be ok with choosing a school for dd sight unseen?

[newwnamme]

Dd 3 is due to start school sept 21. There are a few local possibilities. We know noone who attends any of them and have no knowledge beyond what's on their websites. I called today to ask what is happening with the admissions process this year. Apparently a decision has been made today that no visits will take place. Instead, a 'virtual tour' will be available on the school website.

Am I being unreasonable to think there is no way I would enrol my child in a school which I have never stepped foot inside, never met a member of the staff, had a chance to observe the atmosphere there or anything else? I do get that this is an unusual year. But that does nothing to make me feel better about what is on offer.

I am strongly considering homeschooling, at least as an interim measure. What would you do in this situation?

My children are at an independent school, they aren't allowing in person visits either. The staff are run ragged with the way things work now. The already have to do any parent contact by phone as nobody is allowed into school. As soon as the children are gone for the day, cleaning is underway.

There would just be no way to accommodate in person tours right now.

OP you need to take a look at te thread regarding parent evenings. The majority off schools are unable to offer face to face meetings for parents of children already attending the schools due to covid restrictons. Of course schools carnt offer open evenings to potential parents when they are unable to even meet face to face with parents of kids already in school. Maybe that will put this in perspective for you.

I had to do this as I moved from abroad - I spoke to the head, discussed my DD's sen and they faxed the admissions paperwork (yes a long time ago) which I had to send to the council once we exchanged contracts on our house.

Schools don't actually differ as much as people think, especially primary

Our independent school isn’t doing in person tours. But you can have a long (zoom) chat with the SLT members relevant to establish if its the right school for your child (school is non selective with a pastoral focus, but gets amazing results- they care, they support, they guide, but they never push)

We had this as DS started reception this year. Nothing else we could do really

I know it feels huge OP, but in my experience (3 children through primary) the success or otherwise of a child’s primary school experience depends on many things, almost all of which you can’t get from a tour. The make-up of their class (not the statistical, FSM type thing referred to above, but the mix of characters), the teachers in any given year, whether they find a good friend early on etc. I’d also say that, unless your child has particular issues, they are much better in school than not. Reception year isn’t about the academic learning, which you could cover at home. It’s learning to Make friends, share, co-operate, follow instructions, work as a group to someone else’s timetable. You can teach them phonics, counting etc but just can’t replicate those skills at home.

@SachaStark

Outside of London people do generally go to the local school. Only problem is that sharp elbowed middle class types like choice and use every trick to go to schools further away

I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s true. I live and teach in the South West, and the same nonsense goes on here.

I don’t think primary school tours are that helpful really. You see what they want you to see. Our school was OFSTED Good, 2 form entry, good reputation locally. Over the summer before DD1 started it went to 3 form entry and the head left suddenly in Foundation leaving an inexperienced deputy complete out of her depth. It’s been ‘needs improvement’ for years since. However my DD2 is there still (DD2 had SEN and had to move). She is happy, confident, doing well academically, able to walk with her friends there and back. For the majority of children with no SN and supportive parents they will be fine. I was an army brat and went to 5 primary schools all unseen and have a decent job now. It is really daunting but it works it OK in the end.

If I were in your position now, I would do as @MarinaMarinara suggests, with the virtual tour to see the classrooms and layout, check the websites, speak to your childminder, and if you have any questions, ring up to speak to the Headteacher. In pretty much all cases, the attitude of the Head is what influences the whole ethos of the school.

I would try to get a feel for your local schools as best you can, and bear in mind that you can always move your child to another school if you feel it's not working out for you/her. Of course you want to get it right in the first place, but if it doesn't agree with you when she's actually enrolled, you still have options and it wouldn't be the end of the world. Hopefully by this time next year everything will have returned to normal 🤞

I'm in the same boat OP and I feel the same, the reality is our DS is likely to just get the closest school weather we like it or not (over subscribed area and closest no one wants so lots of places). Its very frustrating as websites and virtual tours are useless in my opinion, if I had chosen the pre-school that way he wouldn't be in the one he is, which I think is amazing and chose on a feeling after meeting the staff and looking round the building.

I don't have the answer, we're just going to do all the research we can, maybe drive past the schools at kicking out time and hope for the best, but it's pretty shitty!

So what you're really asking OP is is it OK to use this a justification to homeschool which is what you want to do anyway?

Make your decision for whatever reason suits you but an open day/evening is neither here nor there.

Seeing parents and children at pick-up time only tells you so much. My Dcs were at a primary school where pick-up time was very off-putting, to be honest. Lots of deprivation, parents who looked as though they were on drugs, very multi-ethnic so children with English as a second language, etc. But it was a good school.

@Legit

“pick-up time was very off-putting, to be honest.... very multi-ethnic so children with English as a second language”

Ouch!!!! What a statement.

@newwnamme It's not an option for us to defer because I have an autumn born girl. But I would if I could just to avoid the chaos of the next year. In the end I think we will end up going private but if it wasn't a pandemic we wouldn't have.

I’m still sad I’ve been put, as a minority ethnic person, in the same Category as a person with a drug addiction.

There are lots of ways you can get a feel for a school without visiting. Information from ofsted / school review sites / look at previous years annual report to parents. What is staff turnover like? Is there an active PTA - what events do they run? Local facebook groups, school website.

I think you are making this harder than it is. When I moved I sent DD to a primary I had not visited.

I specifically talked about children having English as a second language. It's a fact that people on MN often express concerns about that, as do teachers sometimes. At that school a large percentage of children arrived at school speaking no English. The school coped with it well, and I have expressly said that it was a good school.

I would definitely try to speak to the head teachers. We went round two primary schools and essentially chose the one whose head we liked and related to. We agreed with his values - judged by what he talked about compared to what the other head talked about. We weren’t disappointed, the school turned out to be as he described.

Also look at school make up, eg number on free school meals, if that is something that will bother you. It didn’t bother us as we chose the school where 2/3 were on pupil premium.

If you actively want to home educate, it can be a great option. But home Ed activities are a bit restricted at the moment (although hopefully won’t be by next Sept). We home educated for two years. Obviously bear in mind if local schools are full you may struggle to get a place later if you want one.

It’s really rubbish our local school isn’t even doing a virtual tour. It does seem strange choosing a school you’ve never seen before. No tips OP but solidarity! I don’t feel very happy about it either but I don’t want to home school so I suppose there aren’t really many alternative options

I understand why it would be a concern if that's what you had been expecting.

A lot of places didn't have open evenings pre-COVID, particularly at primary, so local reputation, walk-bys, comparison reports as linked earlier in the thread, and so on.

I would have loved virtual tours a couple of years ago, DD1 did a mid-year transfer in Y7 the only tour we got was about five minutes of seeing halls and the canteen - we obviously couldn't go into any room with kids in it - and we could only talk to the receptionist and deputy head (which could have been done by phone). My DS1 chose a KS4 college programme at 14 and tours were prospective students only, wrapped in as part of the taster day, so I could only go by what he said, the contact KS4 staff member, and facebook discussions with parents whose kids were in that and similar programmes (as colleges with KS4 programmes aren't included in data for KS4 alongside secondary schools so I could compare A-level results and similar with secondary schools with sixth forums, but not GCSEs or Progress 8).

Even with a full open evening, there can be limits. My DD2 went in Y7 this year, and her open evening was in part of the building this year's Y7s aren't using, in a temporary building so we can only see the 'final facilitise' in CGI, and it was too loud to actually talk to any staff members. I got far more information from the website and emailing.

I home educate for at least primary. I think it can be an excellent choice, but it has its share of risks as well just as any school no matter how it's chosen. As difficult and postcode lottery it is to get SEN help in schools, it's even harder to get any sort of diagnosis or support without it - we're often just left on our own even when it's flagged as an issue by a HCP, home education groups are like trying to herd cats - stability at home is greatly achieved, but not in an home ed social setting - and very very few of them are running right now so isolation is an even bigger concern than usual though if your DD can continue on at the childminder that can be eased, and as others said, the costs and challenges are all on a home educator's shoulders.

Home educating can be lovely, I wouldn't change it most days. Having done both the home ed and the school-at-home-lockdown version, they're overlapping but still very different kettles of fish and right now, my 8-year-old struggles some days as he's essentially in the same lockdown his siblings were in back in June. We can out, but nothing he was doing before March has reopened. It's hard on him and a lot of other home educated kids I know right now.

If the reason to home educate is because reading about schools in COVID is depressing, well, some of the stuff coming out of home education communities right now isn't really that much better. It's a hard time for everyone. A reception age child who can continue on as they are may get some benefits, but every option has some risks.

Any school allowing visits from prospective parents at the moment would be crossed straight off my list. That’s not a school taking sensible precautions.

Have you found out which one you're actually in catchment for?

You tend to only be in actual catchment for one

@Medianoche

Any school allowing visits from prospective parents at the moment would be crossed straight off my list. That’s not a school taking sensible precautions.

I agree. I’ve not stepped foot inside my dds new school since September only seen it from virtual tours.