To not be ok with choosing a school for dd sight unseen?

[newwnamme]

Dd 3 is due to start school sept 21. There are a few local possibilities. We know noone who attends any of them and have no knowledge beyond what's on their websites. I called today to ask what is happening with the admissions process this year. Apparently a decision has been made today that no visits will take place. Instead, a 'virtual tour' will be available on the school website.

Am I being unreasonable to think there is no way I would enrol my child in a school which I have never stepped foot inside, never met a member of the staff, had a chance to observe the atmosphere there or anything else? I do get that this is an unusual year. But that does nothing to make me feel better about what is on offer.

I am strongly considering homeschooling, at least as an interim measure. What would you do in this situation?

Where I live, you just go to your catchment school, nobody goes for a visit. If you really want to go to a school out of your catchment, you make an application to the school citing your reasons and they make a decision on that. Very few do that though.

Every school I've ever chosen has been based on an individual tour and/or open day event.

At primary two schools were neck a neck and just one comment from DH about something he'd noticed, made the difference.

At secondary the school we were offered gave the best open evening. The head is a real sales person, the school modern and lots of facilities. Turned out to be a very poor choice and we later moved to the school that wasn't showy, to the understated head and it was the right choice.

In your situation I would not choose private or home schooling. I'm not sure private matters at primary and homeschooling is not for me.

I would base my choice on the tours, social media comments, Ofsted reports (bear in mind these can be unreliable and offer one snapshot on one day) and data - why do people keep mentioning Progress 8? That's secondary!

I'd also walk past the school off pickup and dropoff, maybe see if you can chat to a parent, safely.

One massive factor, often overlooked on these threads, but which has proven to be far more important than I ever imagined, is proximity to school.

The ability to walk to and from school is not to be overlooked. And when your child reaches y5 or 6, they could walk by themselves and with friends.
This factor should be right up there IMO.
We could never walk to primary easily and definitely can't walk to either son's secondary.

Good luck.

Suck it up.

What do you expect?

Where I live, you just go to your catchment school, nobody goes for a visit.

That’s a shame, in my opinion. As the ‘failing’ schools Around here are all in the more deprived areas, so it’s a catch 22 for those families.

The point of having 3 choices, again in my view, is to allow such families to be ambitious with their first choice and even second; to try and break the cycle of poverty and poor education.

We are in the same boat. Ask parents at your kids school what school they are sending their children too and why. That’s what we have done, and everyone else who has moved to the area and doesn’t know the schools

Can you phone each option and ask if you can ask some questions of the head or deputy or SENCo. See what response you get. I mean a head wont have time to chat to 100s of potential parents because the children at the school are the priority - but you might get a feel for how friendly /helpful they are.

Op I do understand why you want to visit entirely, but (even if it would be something normally on offer) an evening tour would not give you a true feel for the school anyway, you really couldn’t tell much about a school after hours I don’t think. Private schools have the funds to pay for extra cleaning, and need to “compete” for students in a way that a state primary does not need to do.

In your situation I would:

• do the virtual tour (you may be pleasantly surprised by what you can tell from them - if not you lose little by trying - I know you have said you’ll do this)
• ask your childminder (as she/he has been looking after your DC for some time, you presumably know if you share her/his values - again, appreciate you plan to do this)
• read the Ofsted reports
• follow up by phone to ask specific questions you may have - I’d for example be interested in how they are managing inductions/meeting teachers for the first time remotely. DD’s school has done this well, with one on one virtual meetings etc, but schools vary. Also good to know how they are managing home/school contact now that informal chats at the end of the day are gone. Ours uses tapestry a lot for example.
• look at the school websites

Bear in mind it is easier to apply in time, and switch, defer or withdraw later, than not to apply at all. And given you work, is home ed really a realistic option for you? Can you afford private? FWIW I would be loathe to defer. DD was so ready for school and has been benefiting hugely from it, learning so much already. You may find your DC is quite bored and with a far smaller social circle a bit isolated deferring for a year. Home Ed can be amazing done well but many of the social options are not available right now so again that may be isolating.

It’s hard - my DD started reception this year so obviously we applied pre-Covid but (as they only do daytime visits normally so you can get a “live” feel for the school) DH had visited properly whereas I hadn’t as the open morning coincided with a particularly critical period at work. I trust his judgement but it still felt a little odd. I had been to the school fete etc the previous year though so I did know the site at least.

Good luck!

Our kids changed private schools this summer. Virtual tours only.

I went of reputation and results.

The thing that's annoyed me about your post is you asking if we would accept those terms (unable to look round tne school) the answer is yes I would accept thise terms considering there is no alternative. My child goes to an outstanding school, in normal times its amazing and has helped my child enormously. At the moment it's not running as usual but I accept that because the only alternative would be homeschooling which would mean removing him and losing the place which I'm not prepared to do. So in the short term yes we have to accept that the school is not running as normal but will when the guidlines allow. You need to keep in mind if you choose to homeschooling and later when schools return to running normally you may not hey a place at a preferred school because by then the places will be filled.

YANBU, my DS is also due to start school in September 2021 and I am very disappointed that we won't be able to visit schools properly. I will obviously watch the virtual tours, look at ofsted and ask on social media, but it's not the same as physically going there, seeing the environment, meeting the staff and getting a sense of how it feels there.

I was hoping that there might be some kind of socially distanced event which was held outside school hours, outdoors (in the school playground maybe?) with a talk from the headteacher - at least then you'd get to see the grounds, meet the headteacher and ask questions.

I’d be amazed if there wasn’t more normality by sept 2021. My daughter’s experience of reception has been amazing. Once inside their area, I don’t think the children have missed out at all. The only big difference is staggered drop-offs and allocated areas of the playground.

Would you have wanted to homeschool outside of the pandemic?

We did this nearly 20 years ago, returning from overseas for two children. There were no virtual tours either! Ordinary state primary. They were fine. I'm sure if you live in the area you see and hear things.

The only thing you're going to learn from an open day is which head is best at PR.

We know noone who attends any of them
....
Our childminder works with a number of assistants and picks up from 2/3 schools

Fellow mindees of your childminder!

You are a in a slightly unusual position OP in that it's very uncommon to have the genuine choice of 4 schools. In our case we knew we would get a place at our catchment school and had virtually no chance of getting in anywhere else. We knew from talking to people (yes, even people we didn't know!) that the school was well regarded locally, so the tour (which I mostly found noisy and confusing tbh) was just the icing on the cake. Basically we knew our child would go there unless there was anything waving red flags. You also never really know how a child will suit your school until your child is actually in the school. So our plan was to see how our child got in and then move to radical (not even thought out) Plan B if it really didn't work.

If your local schools are all undersubscribed, remember that this makes your choice that much easier. If it turns out to the wrong school for your child (as evidenced by your child actually starting there) you can simply move them. You're not in the position where you know your child will be "stuck" as no other school has local spaces.

TBH for infants, I'd suggest local trumps most other considerations as there as so many benefits from being able to walk to school/have local friends/be part of community. So maybe start with that?

Your child has never been to infants school, so even if there are restrictions in place next year, won't know that the rules have slightly changed from normal. Teachers are still working to ensure that children have as positive an experience as possible.

If schools in your area are undersubscribed as you say, that resolves your problem. If, when you get to see the school allocated, you don't like it, you will be able to move to another relatively easily.

Have you talked to your childminder about this? They often know a lot about local schools.

You seem to think that disagreeing with it will change the outcome.
You have a choice of doing the virtual tour and choosing one or keeping your dd at home. Your dd is not going to be taught a huge amount of academic work. She will be learning routines, developing her communication skills and listening skills and becoming more independent alongside a whole range of other skills learnt through play. If you think you can do this yourself, then do it. Even if you were allowed in, you would not see much more than the virtual tour. You could talk to the head on the phone if you have specific questions.

@serialreturner

Suck it up.

What do you expect?

The level of unpleasantness on here is astounding.

@EachPeachPearSums

Most private schools are doing in person tours if that's an option for you.

Depends where you live. Round here (large town in SW with multiple private schools) they are ALL currently advertising their upcoming virtual open days.

I don't know if this helps but I was living abroad while having to choose a primary for my eldest. I felt I learned a lot from the way the school communicated with me and answered questions. In some cases it felt impersonal and like a hassle in others it felt like they really listened to what I said and took the time to give a proper answer. It gave me an impression of what the school was like.

Honestly, the sooner that the UK Government finally realises that it needs to build more schools, and then that children should just go to their nearest catchment school, the better.

Also, as a teacher, I really wouldn’t set much score by Ofsted ratings at each of those schools. They don’t necessarily mean anything.

@DailyLotion

The only thing you're going to learn from an open day is which head is best at PR.

Oh god this! Our first Head was definitely a sales man!

@HandfulofDust

I don't know if this helps but I was living abroad while having to choose a primary for my eldest. I felt I learned a lot from the way the school communicated with me and answered questions. In some cases it felt impersonal and like a hassle in others it felt like they really listened to what I said and took the time to give a proper answer. It gave me an impression of what the school was like.

Absolutely this. When we were picking new schools the coms from both schools we were looking at had a stark difference

Not quite the same situation but we're moving to another area in the UK and yesterday went to visit a prospective primary school for our kids. We weren't allowed inside but observed the children leaving with their parents at the end of the day, then were able to meet the HT (socially distanced) and he took us around the school grounds and answered our questions. We also saw a few teachers from a distance who smiled and waved. It gave us a good feel for the school and we left feeling pretty happy.

I'd advise observing drop off/collections as that all gives you a flavour of the school . They may allow limited groups to wander around outside and meet the head at a later stage?

I never had a look round ds school before he attended and its only 5 min walk away.Its not the norm here,you just decide on the school via the reputation and word of mouth.