To not want to be called "thick"

[WickedEmoji]

I am quite annoyed. DS's who are teens at the stage where they are always right and know everything just called me thick because I didnt know some obscure grammar that is now taught to year 6.

I am of the generation that was never formally taught grammar at school. I acheived all A and B grades, went to uni, had a career and achieved managerial status. All without knowing what a subjunctive clause, adjective noun phrase or whatever they are calling them, are.

Children use grammar, such as the use of I, me, you, we, with out knowing the technical terms of subject and object case or first person or second person perspectives.

A lot of the angst about teaching grammar is about the notion that if a child learns the technical terms it will improve their language use. It doesn't, as a general rule. (And on rules, there are things like bever start a sentence with never, I before e, which always have "exceptions") Generally language comes from immersion.

There are writing techniques that need to be taught, absolutely, but writing is more "artificial" than speech as you do not have the tone and body language context to draw on.

Language is not a recipe and its usage changes. The ability to communicate is more important than being able to name the technical term of the sentence type you just wrote.

So AIBU to be annoyed that I am considered "thick" because I do not know the technical terms?

(And yes, I have probably made grammatical errors in this post, and will have pedants pick them up, but I feel I have been fairly clear -as is the point if communication- so engaging in my grammar mistakes rather than the discussion says more about them than me)

Ok and there are definitely spelling errors too

Haven't got time to leave a long response OP but YANBU. For the record I'm of the same school as you, never taught the technical terms and still if I'm honest struggle with them, however I get paid to write so it can't be having all that big an impact.

YANBU but most of your post is completely unnecessary.

AIBU to not allow my child to be rude to me?
No, YANBU. When my kids say something like this to me they get pretty short shrift.

What did you say to him?

And to make it worse, when I was explaining why i was annoyed, i was told I was given a right of reply, but my reply was "invalid"

Um, who the hell do your sons think they are? I have teens, who think they know everything, and they can be proper little so and so's. But boy howdy, if one of them had the temerity to call me, or DH 'thick', they'd get their arse handed to them on a verbal platter. By both of us.

And your child is 10/11?! How dare he speak to you like that! My nearly 9 year old can be a bit of a nelly know all but he always gets pulled up on it. I do not accept rudeness.

Being insulted by your teens is surely a rite of passage? If I listened to what my kids think I'd never kiss their father or listen to music or watch TV shows I enjoyed or go for a walk or visit a museum or eat the food I like. It's nothing to do with grammar.

Apologies I misread the bit about Y6. My comments still stand.

I tell mine that I know she's definitely bright enough not to be cheeky to the person who feeds her.

I'm probably the same age as you. Learnt little grammar at school.

When I was doing DS's 11+ prep, I basically had to google everything.

Tell your children not to be so rude!

Rude. Perhaps you’d like to remind them that you taught them how to use a spoon and a toilet.

They said "wow, you are NOT clever, are you?" So it was not direct, but implied, then it degenerated into an argument with me defending myself and my education. And then DH wisely pointed out it was an argument I was never going to win, so to walk away.

Aware most of my post was unnecessary, but felt the need to make my point as I ahdbt been able to with the teens

They are 14/15 rather than 11!

You've waffled a lot in your post.

Your child sounds rude and spoilt.

I don't know the technical terms in your post but I'm actually good at grammar. So it doesn't mean anything if you don't know the terms!
Ynbu

"Well son, thick is as thick does, and pissing off the Holder of the Wallet is pretty thick."

Y6 & calling their Mum thick?

I don't thing English is where you've gone wrong tbh.

@WickedEmoji

They said "wow, you are NOT clever, are you?" So it was not direct, but implied, then it degenerated into an argument with me defending myself and my education. And then DH wisely pointed out it was an argument I was never going to win, so to walk away.

Aware most of my post was unnecessary, but felt the need to make my point as I ahdbt been able to with the teens

They are 14/15 rather than 11!

At 14/15 if thick is the worst thing they are calling you then I'd say you're getting away lightly. You should hear what I get called by some of the young people I work with, I'd probably not even notice if they called me thick.

I've 'gone wrong' buying a fecking iPhone!! 'Think'

No fucking way would I stand for that rudeness! If you don’t nip this in the bud, it will get worse. A child calling a parent “thick” or that their opinion is “invalid” is not a right of passage, it’s pure lack of respect. Cheeky wee fucker.

'You don't get to speak to me that way', tends to work wonders. Then walk away, and make sure dinner is something they'd really rather not eat, and that you watch Mamma Mia on loop on TV that night. . .

@MJMG2015

Y6 & calling their Mum thick?

I don't thing English is where you've gone wrong tbh.

I cant do grammar, but I can read. They arent year 6.

They need to learn respect and manners in addition to the grammar

I have found "work to rule" very effective when dealing with cheeky teens.

Helpful, obliging Mum disappears!

Manners reappear quickly.

At 14/15 if thick is the worst thing they are calling you then I'd say you're getting away lightly. You should hear what I get called by some of the young people I work with, I'd probably not even notice if they called me thick.

What has your work and the young people you work with, got to do with a child being so ignorant to their own parent? You get paid to do your job, there’s a big difference.

Your husband should also have stepped in, OP and told them they were out of order. Don’t forget, you’re probably the one that taught them to wipe their own arses and they’d still be eating with their fingers, if you had t taught them how to use a knife and fork.

Sorry - it's been a long day!

Y6 or 14/15 if they spike to me like that I'd be shocked & very unimpressed.

They know what they learn these days is different, but they also know that at 50 I can still knock them into a cocked hat educationally, let alone with life/experience.

Your DH's response is crap too.