AIBu to think my tenant throwing me shade?

[YouMatterTheMostLeast]

Ive got a tenant and she’s from South America. She’s ok, clean.

I wonder if she’s being rude or not.

I got a new kitchen, got rid of the awful one I had before which was small and had painted doors.

The sink is now black. Before I had a silver sink that was probably twenty years.
Her reaction to the new sink - oh why did you get rid of the silver sink, it matched.

My kitchen matches. It’s black, white, stainless steel and Dark grey.

I think you are perhaps being a tad overdramatic here OP.
And with that terminology it sounds like you've been watching one too many episodes of Drag Race

I had to read that a few times because I have no idea what “throwing a shade means”.

It is a total non event, somebody made a comment about a sink. Why on earth do you need a thread about it?

Yes YABU for this non thread.

@Crankley

No idea what “throwing me shade” means.

I don't think it's a big deal, she just expressed her preference.

Me neither.

All these rich people who need their egos to be constantly flattered make me puke. “Give me shade”? Grow up. Different colour preferences are perfectly acceptable.

Black sink? Sounds awful, she does have a filter because people with no filter would say what the hell were you thinking getting a black fucking sink

@notangelinajolie

I don't know what throwing the shade means. I have no idea why being South African lodger makes a difference. Not understanding why you think your lodger shouldn't have an opinion. But I do agree with your lodger - sinks should be stainless steel.

This thread is wierd.

Even weirder when people confuse South America with Africa.

She could always put a washing up bowl in it, in her preferred shade.

Slinks back out of the thread.

Really? She told you she preferred the silver sink. Big deal. You just say, "Oh well, I picked a black one, I like it."
You seem very highly strung to be so upset over a passing comment. You don't have to live with her, what's the problem?

Throwing me shade , are you 8?

[quote YouMatterTheMostLeast]@Smallsteps88 she’s just had a brand new kitchen put in. The other one was awful. It has painted doors and was a very very old Ikea one. Now she has a brand new[/quote]
Must be better then🙄

She probably should have kept her thoughts to herself. But sounds like she just said an opinion outloud that wasn't even too rude.

Even with the urban dictionary link i have no idea what throwing shade means.
I also didn't know black sinks were a thing! I thought you meant it had somehow got really filthy

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander

Even with the urban dictionary link i have no idea what throwing shade means. I also didn't know black sinks were a thing! I thought you meant it had somehow got really filthy

It’s a another way of saying throwing insults at her

Thanks @blueberrypie0112

"Throwing shade" basically means to insult someone.

You seem to think this situation is like you've bought her a gift and she's insulted it. In reality, you've put unusually styled decor into her home without consulting her, and she's commented on it.

1. You haven't done her a favour. You shouldn't expect her to be grateful or gracious or kind about it.
2. If you wanted her to like the kitchen, maybe you should've consulted her before purchasing a black sink. I've literally never seen one. She doesn't have to like the same things as you and she's the one who has to live with it. If you make your rental property garish then it'll damage its value, whether it's styled to YOUR taste or not.
3. She's allowed to comment, positively or negatively on changes you make to the house. Her comment wasn't even particularly negative.

YABU.

I can tell you're an absolutely nightmare landlord by the phrase "my kitchen matches". It's not YOUR kitchen. It's HER kitchen. She is the tenant and so, legally and in equity, this is HER kitchen. You're acting like she's a guest in your house and owes you something - she's not.

I never knew you could get black sinks. Weird.

You see a new kitchen as something great. She views it after it’s been tainted by the mess, dust and inconvenience of having trades people in your home.
We did up the kitchen in our own home while living here and I was at the end of my tether when it was finally done.

We have a black sink. I like them, but I'm not going to get upset if somebody says it's not to their taste.
They are quite common these days, not black stainless steel, usually a fibreglass or composite style sink - like this: