AIBu to think my tenant throwing me shade?

[YouMatterTheMostLeast]

Ive got a tenant and she’s from South America. She’s ok, clean.

I wonder if she’s being rude or not.

I got a new kitchen, got rid of the awful one I had before which was small and had painted doors.

The sink is now black. Before I had a silver sink that was probably twenty years.
Her reaction to the new sink - oh why did you get rid of the silver sink, it matched.

My kitchen matches. It’s black, white, stainless steel and Dark grey.

[quote YouMatterTheMostLeast]@hadjab I do. I wouldn’t say to someone who’s just bought a new kitchen why didn’t you get a certain colour.....[/quote]
“ Shade is a subtle, sneering expression of contempt for or disgust with someone—sometimes verbal, and sometimes not. ... The expression 'throw shade' has been around for a while, but it exploded in popularity after recaps of a 2010 episode of RuPaul's Drag Race used the phrase to describe a competition of epic takedowns.”

Like I said, expressing a preference for a different coloured sink is not shade...

I’ve worked out what happened, we’ve all misunderstood. OP fitted a new kitchen for her tenant, the tenant didn’t like the new light fitting so she took it down and threw the shade at OP. Poor OP. Certainly not UR to think that’s rude.

I opened this expecting an exciting story of a physical altercation involving a flying lampshade.

Anyhoo - do you live in a hard water area? If so the black sink will be a bugger, if not impossible, to keep clean. I hate black sinks. I kinda get where you're coming from - the whole kitchen is better so she should be grateful. But I guess if she's living there then she has a right to an opinion? Doesn't seem particularly rude, though maybe a little tactless. Other cultures don't do tact the way the British do (it's much easier in many ways not to...)

Thanks for the reports - we're going to take this down for a look behind the scenes...

You're one of those posters aren't you.

No matter what anyone says, you will keep repeating the same thing, so certain that you are in the right.

I'd give up now. Does not matter how many different ways you say the same thing you'll only get more responses that you don't want.

YABU, by the way.

It’s not her kitchen it’s yours. Doesn’t matter what she thinks. If she wants a kitchen with a silver sink she should move out.

@LouMumsnet

Thanks for the reports - we're going to take this down for a look behind the scenes...

Nooooo!!!

Did she actually say something negative? Asking why x doesn't mean the same things as OMG I HATE X, URGH.

Nothing to see behind the scenes here MNHQ - under the kitchen sink on the other hand ...... all happening there

I think south African people are quite blunt. It's not personal OP

I don’t see why what county she from has anything to do with the fact she leant like your black sink.

Btw she is right coloured sinks ate extremely quickly when as stainless steel is timeless.

I would hate a black sink.

I would throw you so much shade, you'd have to get your ass off my manor to be able to read your watch.

I'd 'throw shade' at anyone who bought a black sink. They look horrid.

So you've changed the kitchen in the house she lives in. You've changed her kitchen. Do you live there too?

If not, did you discuss the changes with her? She may feel the black sink is odd, hard to tell if it's clean. I mean, you obviously like it and think it's better, she doesn't.

I think you’re being a bit over-sensitive. It was a blunt comment but not a particularly rude one.

@Lollyneenah

I think south African people are quite blunt. It's not personal OP

If the OP can't cope with South Americans she should steer well clear of South Africans than

People from Bury are more blunt than South America or South Africa I generally find.

Yasss bruh, gurl being all shady, proper savage, like. She is cappin', black sink is on fleek.

I think an adult using the expression ‘throwing shade’ should carry a custodial sentence.

I hate black sinks. I have one, it faded and discoloured really quickly. I'm going to replace it with a nice stainless steel one when we get a new kitchen!

I'm baffled.

Poor you.

I hope you aren't the kind of landlord who takes an unreasonably long time to sort out minor issues. You seem to think your tenant should be eternally grateful for the opportunity to live in your house, when it should really be the other way round.

She’s probably being polite. A black sink is grim

You sound far too young to be a landlady < keeping it polite>