What to do about ruined baby clothes?

[User36258]

I’m currently pregnant with my first baby. My mum (who has been so amazing and generous about this pregnancy) offered to take the baby clothes we have bought and wash them for us so they’re ready for the arrival of the baby. We gratefully accepted this offer of help.

Unfortunately, due to an unnoticed pen which was in the pocket of some of my dad’s trousers when they were washed, the majority of the clothes have been ruined by the pen exploding and ink leaking everywhere. They are still technically usable, but covered in huge, ugly, black ink stains.

My mum is beside herself and has said she will replace everything. The trouble is, we are talking a couple of hundred pounds at least, and it’s money she doesn’t easily have to hand as she is now retired. She has also already paid for so much - she bought all our nursery furniture for instance and has spend days helping us paint and decorate.

We can’t really afford to replace the clothes either. But I feel guilty accepting her offer of replacements when it was a total accident, and it’s not easy for her to replace them. So I’m thinking I could just buy some inexpensive basics to replace what has been ruined, knowing that people will likely gift us nice things when the baby is born anyway.

My mum is really pressing us to let her replace the clothes, and I think she might feel less guilty if she did. But I don’t want her to feel guilty, she was doing a nice thing and accidents happen. So should I just insist that it’s fine and she doesn’t need to replace them, or should I accept her offer?

I would just put the baby in them and not worry about it. They'll only fit for 5 minutes anyway

This. I wouldn't really care tbh and I'm sure the baby won't care. You could just use these as around the house outfits and I'm sure you won't be having that many visitors with covid so o one will see. And keep the clothes that haven't been ruined for going out and about. Another alternative is just to buy some dylon and dye them all black/navy/some other dark colour.

i'm surprised that she washed them with anything else. esp a man's trousers. there's bound to be some cross contamination.
i would have kept them separate.
but what's done is done.
the baby will not actually notice, and as long as they are clean, will suffer no ill. i would wash them again anyway, with disinfectant.
perhaps try some of the suggestions above, to get stains out, but use as many as you can, whatever.
maybe agree to your mother buying a few items of visible wear, but cheaply say from asda or primark, for photos.
good luck.

What an unfortunate thing to happen! One thing you could try is just hanging them on a washing line - UV rays are great at getting some stains out (v effective on baby poo!). If you can't get the stains out I'd let your mum buy one or two nice items then get some cheap basics (H&M do some wrap around baby grows that you can put on / take off like a cardigan - v helpful for exploding nappies as it means you don't have to take them off over your baby's head). I was given some lovely outfits for my baby which I saved for "special occasions" - she outgrew some of them before she had a chance to wear them! Best of luck to you & enjoy your new arrival xx

@SewingWarriorQueen76

Try nappysan, in the bath and soak for 24 hours miminum and repeat. Honestly, it gets nearly everything out. You just need to leave it long enough.

Nappisan is amazing! Also works on curry stains 🤣

Aw give her a hug and tell her it's ok. Don't let her buy replacements - the way babies grow they won't last longer than a few weeks anyway. She sounds lovely and I am sure she will more than make up for it over the months and years to come.

Don’t throw anything away. Even if you won’t use it, I’m sure there will be people grateful for it.

Babies grow out of stuff so quickly.

She was very careless, who doesn't check the pockets of clothes before washing but I wouldn't feel she has to replace all the baby's clothes that she ruined.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I would've been really upset and I don't spend alot on clothes.

I also disagree with previous posters re: babies only being in sleepsuits, growing out of clothes really fast and also that in hindsight they wouldn't mind stained as clothes get ruined anyway. In all honesty it depends on the baby. Mine stayed in her small clothes for quite a while and has always been about 1-2 months smaller than her age in clothes. She also wore alot of legging/tshirt sets and Jersey dresses in the day which were no less comfortable than sleepsuits. She has always been a child that doesn't sleep a whole lot and so we were up and about more. I enjoyed dressing her and taking photos of her as she was a long awaited baby. I also haven't found that we have had many poo explosions or anything like that ruining clothes. The most staining for me came with weaning.

So given my experience I wouldn't want to tell you it doesn't matter, that you won't mind when they're born etc.

If i were you i would get basics from george/tu which do excellent pieces and often have good sales. I would focus on getting a few nice sleepsuits for day (the ones that are more like outfits), and some tshirts and leggings you can mix and match for outfits. You won't need many. Then no more than 2 special outfits for leaving hospital and registering birth etc. Thise you coukd pick up cheap from ebay as people are right that outfits tend to be worn not that frequently by alot of babies. You can try to remove stains from what has been ruined or dye them or use for night time. Bodysuits will be under clothes so only things id say actually you really won't be that fussed about being stained.

She was very careless, who doesn't check the pockets of clothes before washing

Errr.... the person who wore them? In this case, the OPs FATHER. But hey, lets the blame the woman...again.

I would just put the baby in them and not worry about it. They'll only fit for 5 minutes anyway.

I agree - just let the baby wear them around home. It was an accident, let your DM buy one or two new things if she really wants to, but as you said you will get stuff when baby arrives.

Apologies, I haven't read all the responses so not sure if this has already been recommended...a more sustainable option would be Bundlee, a baby clothes loan company. For a set monthly amount you hire clothes (nice brands) and swap them when you're ready to move up a size. I plan to do this with my newborn when I don't have enough of certain items after borrowing hand-me-downs.

I thought we'd be gifted lots of clothes but we weren't, and the items we were given are for +3 months. So you might not be able to rely on gifts. I would still put baby in the stained clothes, at least at night or at home, so as not to waste them, but also because we're washing DD's clothes every day or every other day.

I would also let your mum buy a few nice pieces or contribute to the clothing loan scheme, Bundlee, so she feels less guilty.

Tie dye. There are companies who specifically make tie dye clothes for kids. So do it yourself. I’d do that. You can’t make them any worse!

Aw your poor mum must be feeling absolutely awful . I’ve got no suggestions to add to what’s been said on here already but just wanted to say that both you and your mum sound really lovely and your baby having you two will make up for having ink blotches on their clothes a zillion times over.

@alexdgr8 as I explained a couple of times, she didn’t wash the baby clothes with the trousers. The trousers were in the previous wash, the pen fell out, mum didn’t notice it in the machine before putting on the baby clothes.

I’ve washed numerous tissues and once my husband’s iPhone, so I’m really not going to hold it over her head that she didn’t notice a small pen in the drum of a large machine. Everyone has moments of oversight sometimes, it’s not a moral failing!

@Angelina82 that’s such a nice thing to say ❤️ This baby really couldn’t be luckier with any of its grandparents, they’re all lovely!

For those saying the baby stuff should be washed separately is it just me who washes it all together? Why would you separate stuff surely it call comes out clean??

I didn’t separate either (unless there was a Poonami and I didn’t want mixing everyone’s clothes mixing with the mess the baby had created)

Now if you have infectious medical conditions that would survive the wash or you are playing with dangerous substances perhaps then it is a good idea to separate the wash.

Baby stuff does not need to be washed separately, it makes no sense .

I would dye them! Works really well. Fyi you can also dye patterned things too, it shows up through the dye, can be quite nice. You can also get little iron on embroidered patches (I would also sew them to ensure no choking hazard).

Think of it as an opportunity to be creative. Your child is going to have bespoke clothes, a trendsetter already

I would tell her half (or the lowest believable amount) of why the clothes actually cost and let her replace that amount. Tell her you'll keep the ruined ones as spares. Then do tell your friends what happened so they will buy you newborn clothes.

You could always, jokingly, suggest she works off the cost by helping you with your baby when they are born.

Do come back and tell us what worked on the pen stains. May
help many of us in the future.
Good luck too and hope the birth goes well.

Awww I feel gutted for both you and your mum.
I personally wouldn't put my baby in the stained items but I'd definitely try and remove the ink and if that fails dye them as they can't get any worse.
Tu and George have some gorgeous baby clothes at the moment that are cheap that your mum could maybe contribute towards a few nice outfits, vests and sleep suits and then to top up I'd get bundles off eBay as you will need lots.
I think you have been really lovely actually taking your mums feelings into account over your own.
It is upsetting but it is all replaceable and like most have said you probably had far too much anyway.
I agree with mentioning to friends and close family what has happened in a lighthearted jokey way, take the blame off mum and blame dad for leaving a pen in his pocket, then they may contribute with clothing or vouchers to help replace items.
Hope you manage to sort it, keep us updated xx

Let her buy a couple of bits but not the whole lot. Buy inexpensive vests and sleep suits from a supermarket, and wait for the inevitable gifts of clothes from friends. Your DC will outgrow the lot in three months anyway.

It was kind of your DM to offer, and accidents happen, as you say.

Good luck with your arrival!

Oh my, I feel for you. I've ruined a few pieces of clothing I really liked due to washing accidents and I was devastated... For a few moments. In the end, it's only clothing. It's something temporary anyway and there are more important things to worry about.

Now, I know it's not easy to accept that a few hundreds went to waste. It's a lot of money. I think the best thing to do is to accept what happened. There's absolutely no sense in your mum replacing all of it, it's an unnecessary expense. Same goes for you. Just tell yourself that it's baby clothing - it would be worn for a VERY short time AND it would be washed a million times. Sometimes several times a day. Consequently, some of it would be ruined quite quickly. Is it worth giving hundreds for something like that? Nah.

Honestly, go to Facebook marketplace and find a few bundles of clothing people are selling. You can get clothing that's been worn only once or twice before it was outgrown and things that haven't been worn at all for very little money. This summer I've got a bundle of 50 pieces of 0-3 months clothing for a mere £25! It included several pieces that still had labels on because people overbuy clothing for babies and/or get gifts that they never use. It was a brilliant buy that saved us hundreds and everything looked perfect. Do this and make things easier for all of you.