What to do about ruined baby clothes?

[User36258]

I’m currently pregnant with my first baby. My mum (who has been so amazing and generous about this pregnancy) offered to take the baby clothes we have bought and wash them for us so they’re ready for the arrival of the baby. We gratefully accepted this offer of help.

Unfortunately, due to an unnoticed pen which was in the pocket of some of my dad’s trousers when they were washed, the majority of the clothes have been ruined by the pen exploding and ink leaking everywhere. They are still technically usable, but covered in huge, ugly, black ink stains.

My mum is beside herself and has said she will replace everything. The trouble is, we are talking a couple of hundred pounds at least, and it’s money she doesn’t easily have to hand as she is now retired. She has also already paid for so much - she bought all our nursery furniture for instance and has spend days helping us paint and decorate.

We can’t really afford to replace the clothes either. But I feel guilty accepting her offer of replacements when it was a total accident, and it’s not easy for her to replace them. So I’m thinking I could just buy some inexpensive basics to replace what has been ruined, knowing that people will likely gift us nice things when the baby is born anyway.

My mum is really pressing us to let her replace the clothes, and I think she might feel less guilty if she did. But I don’t want her to feel guilty, she was doing a nice thing and accidents happen. So should I just insist that it’s fine and she doesn’t need to replace them, or should I accept her offer?

DO NOT buy everything again, you will get a shit load of new clothes when the baby is born as gifts

Same as oysterbabe .The clothes are clean, I would give stain removal a go and then just use them with the marks. I would not expect my DM to replace.

You could get a bright coloured dye and do some tie dye on the plain items?

I never prewashed any of my baby clothes, they really don’t need it.

What was she thinking? I'll just do my dd a favour by chucking in all her carefully bought clothes with my husband's trousers and pen?? I'd just tell her not to worry about it and buy the stuff I could afford to myself. Use the pen stuff as nightware. Welcome to the world of being a parent.

And ps, I never washed anything new I bought.

What type of pen was it? Before you try any stain removing on the clothes, get the same pen and use it on some old fabric and get experimenting. I've had good results with pure alcohol, but do try it out first.

I was going to say dye some - navy is a good suggestion. We dyed a whole load of particularly vests and babygros when we started weaning, as they got so stained.

Actually.... why was she washing baby clothes (which I assume are all light coloured) with men’s trousers (which I would assume are dark!)?

Try nappysan, in the bath and soak for 24 hours miminum and repeat. Honestly, it gets nearly everything out. You just need to leave it long enough.

Dying sounds like the better option but I honestly find it is slightly bizarre offer of help in the first place. It doesn’t take that much effort to whack a round of baby clothes in the washing machine. It was always going to be more faff taking them away and transporting them than just doing it yourself. It’s then a bit odd that having offered to do the job, she mixed the washing with your dad’s trousers.

It was a biro. She didn’t wash the clothes with the trousers; the trousers had been in the previous wash, the pen must have fallen out and she didn’t notice before the new clothes went it. My dad also feels terrible for leaving a pen in his trousers in the first place. He’s usually meticulously tidy and conscientious so it’s really unlucky that the baby clothes wash coincided with a rare moment of oversight!

I don’t usually wash clothes before wearing but was told you should when it’s baby clothes. I don’t suppose it makes much difference but that’s what I was taught!

@lockeddownandcrazy

You buy a few more, she buys a few more, then keep the stained ones as spares

This is what i would do.

There are some good stain removers for pen. Otherwise keep the clothes and use them for night time and feeding. Babies don't really need that many "good clothes"

Thank you so much to everyone offering tips - I really appreciate it and we’ll have a good go at getting the stains out before deciding anything else.

What MaverickDanger said. Get some Dylon, dye them navy - and then top up with gifts that people give you. It's winter and the baby will have grown out of most stuff pronto. Pick one killer item for your mum to buy as a goodwill gesture to replace ie an outfit for "best" to have photos in (and then take off and replace with superwashable stuff for real life)...

Commercial stain removers are pretty good, try those before anything else.

They will only be worn for a few weeks. If there were one or two special things why not replace those then buy a bundle of preloved clothes on FB or EBay? You can get bundles in immaculate condition.

I wouldn’t accept. I’d maybe find a couple of bundles for sale and get them instead.

How many items are we talking? Surely can't be much if your mum decided to make up a load by throwing in a pair of men's trousers?

All this talk about how mum feels when it was dad who left the bloody pen in the pocket. I'm projecting but my FIL leaves tissues and pens in pockets for whichever female servant is washing his clothes. Makes me livid.

^^ This - who does he think should check his pockets for stuff before washing them - the laundry maid?

However, had I been her, I would have washed just the baby things together and not included any of my own washing (or his Lordship's).

It's lockdown (more or less). You won't be going out much anyway. Most baby activities aren't on and visiting is limited. Use them as home clothes and pyjamas and keep the ones you are gifted for photos and going out.

There were times when I got through three outfits in ten minutes due to repeated wees/pukes. You might be grateful for some you are not precious about.

@User36258

It was a biro. She didn’t wash the clothes with the trousers; the trousers had been in the previous wash, the pen must have fallen out and she didn’t notice before the new clothes went it. My dad also feels terrible for leaving a pen in his trousers in the first place. He’s usually meticulously tidy and conscientious so it’s really unlucky that the baby clothes wash coincided with a rare moment of oversight!

I don’t usually wash clothes before wearing but was told you should when it’s baby clothes. I don’t suppose it makes much difference but that’s what I was taught!

It is pretty usual to wash the clothes first as it gets the chemical residue off them.

I know how you feel - I'd feel dreadful if I was your mum and upset if I were you.

With the best will in the world, you won't want to put your baby in 'stained' clothes. So just replace with a few babygros and maybe a couple of 'outfits' and see how you go. You do tend to get lots of presents for a new baby.

When's the baby due? Can you get some bits for Christmas presents?

Oh what a shame, your mum must feel wretched! I bet your dad got a rollicking for leaving the pen on his pocket!

Try stain remover but then just use them.

I can see both sides - if I was your mum I would want to replace the lot. If I was you I would be heartbroken but upset at the thought of her spending so much money.

When it comes to stuff that is stained I am firmly in the camp "it can't get more damaged" so I would be trying every stain remover/suggestion then dying everything that isn't fixed. Even it has a pattern you can still dye it - maybe the pattern will show, maybe it won't but it is worth a try.

CanI ask how one load of baby clothes cost £100s? What on earth were the clothes?