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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to do about ruined baby clothes?

219 replies

User36258 · 03/10/2020 17:04

I’m currently pregnant with my first baby. My mum (who has been so amazing and generous about this pregnancy) offered to take the baby clothes we have bought and wash them for us so they’re ready for the arrival of the baby. We gratefully accepted this offer of help.

Unfortunately, due to an unnoticed pen which was in the pocket of some of my dad’s trousers when they were washed, the majority of the clothes have been ruined by the pen exploding and ink leaking everywhere. They are still technically usable, but covered in huge, ugly, black ink stains.

My mum is beside herself and has said she will replace everything. The trouble is, we are talking a couple of hundred pounds at least, and it’s money she doesn’t easily have to hand as she is now retired. She has also already paid for so much - she bought all our nursery furniture for instance and has spend days helping us paint and decorate.

We can’t really afford to replace the clothes either. But I feel guilty accepting her offer of replacements when it was a total accident, and it’s not easy for her to replace them. So I’m thinking I could just buy some inexpensive basics to replace what has been ruined, knowing that people will likely gift us nice things when the baby is born anyway.

My mum is really pressing us to let her replace the clothes, and I think she might feel less guilty if she did. But I don’t want her to feel guilty, she was doing a nice thing and accidents happen. So should I just insist that it’s fine and she doesn’t need to replace them, or should I accept her offer?

OP posts:
YesIDoLoveCrisps · 03/10/2020 17:28

dye them all black. halloweens round the corner and the puke, milk and shit stains wont show up

I agree. More babies should wear black. It looks awesome.

YorkshireIndie · 03/10/2020 17:28

Vanish soap is amazing! That and sunlight. I would try the milk thing

doodliedoo · 03/10/2020 17:29

They grow so fast you would find, if this hadn't happened, that you would have things you hadn't had time to put on! You'll get gifts, you can fill in with some basics, and with maybe a few extra loads of laundry (no pens!) you'll find it's enough to get by. If your mum REALLY feels the need to make up for it, and you REALLY feel you can't keep saying no, she could buy a couple of things in the 18 month old range, as you'll really get far more use out of those than the newborn to 6-month-old range. But no way does she need to replace the whole lot, she's really stepping up so amazingly in every respect. I agree with previous posters, they blast out of the smaller sizes so quickly that second-hand is really virtually as good as new.

OnlyToWin · 03/10/2020 17:34

Fairy liquid works great on pen stains - wet the stain, rub it in and re-wash. It has worked to bring out dry wipe pen on school uniforms. Definitely try removing the stains before buying any new clothes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/10/2020 17:34

Your poor mum - I can imagine she feels awful!

All this talk about how mum feels when it was dad who left the bloody pen in the pocket. I'm projecting but my FIL leaves tissues and pens in pockets for whichever female servant is washing his clothes. Makes me livid.

Original poster
User36258 · 03/10/2020 17:35

Thank you for the washing tips, we will definitely try those!

I probably am being a bit precious, but it’s our first baby and we’ve been very excited. The stains are really ugly - the clothes would be fine for scruffing about, but I wouldn’t be happy about them being in them out in public or when meeting people, and I don’t want all of our baby photos to show stained clothes.

We could afford to replace individual things, but this is literally every item of clothing we’ve bought in stages over the last few months, so having to replace it all in the short time before the baby comes would really stretch us.

If we can’t get the stains out using the tips in this thread I think the best compromise is to ask my mum to get a couple of things so she doesn’t feel guilty any more and then I’ll get enough basics to see us through!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 03/10/2020 17:39

If it's baby grows could you just bleach them?

Scaraffito · 03/10/2020 17:39

Oh no! I would have felt the same pre-baby, in reality though they will likely be covered in explosive poo soon enough anyway. As it's creeping up to winter, a lot of clothes will likely be layered up when you're out and about so no one will see a lot of them anyway. I would do as you say, if it would make her feel better then they could buy a few precious bits, other than that just use them or buy some cheap bits. I regret buying so much for mine before they were born as they didn't wear most of it- mostly sleepsuits for the first few months!

Toddlerteaplease · 03/10/2020 17:41

Never understood this washing new clothes thing anyway. I love fresh out the packet feeling!

MaverickDanger · 03/10/2020 17:44

What colour are the clothes? I’d be tempted to buy a navy Dylon pack and shove them in the wash.

Navy baby grows are adorable.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 03/10/2020 17:47

I’d have been upset too pre baby.

I honestly wouldn’t mind now. To chuck out all those unused clothes would be an awful waste. Babies poo and milk sick stains clothes. I know it’s different to ink, but they grow so so fast.

I was PFB over babygros and washed and put them away when they were outgrown. A few years later I unpacked them all to find the milk, previously unstained had turned yellow in storage, so no one wanted them. They went to rags.

Original poster
User36258 · 03/10/2020 17:48

There are definitely plenty of plain white babygrows and vests we can dye, that’s a smart plan. there are a fair few bits which are patterned and couldn’t be dyed, so I’m hoping the ink removal tricks might work!

OP posts:
Illberidingshotgun · 03/10/2020 17:48

Look on your local FB selling page or Ebay, there will be bundles of newborn clothes for great prices, and perhaps you and your mum could pay half each? I agree with the PP, if you are not going to use the stained clothes, try dying them navy - I too love babies in navy!

Mmn654123 · 03/10/2020 17:49

Stain Devil for ink. They’ll be good as new!

changerr · 03/10/2020 17:49

@Toddlerteaplease

Never understood this washing new clothes thing anyway. I love fresh out the packet feeling!
This^
EIEIohmygod · 03/10/2020 17:49

Facebook marketplace or eBay - you can get massive bundles of very lightly-worn (sometimes unworn!) clothes for incredibly cheap. And you'll get gifted loads.

DeliaOwens · 03/10/2020 17:49

OP, you and your Mum sound like lovely people. If the stains can't be removed, maybe give your Mum a list of necessities, so she can replace those and feels like she has not ruined everything? Next have some lively things, not too expensive and good quality, H&M have great newborn stuff and quite good prices. Sainsbury TU also have some lovely and inexpensive stuff. (5 pack muslin for £5 for example)
I think you need to allow her to feel she has replaced things.

RedskyAtnight · 03/10/2020 17:51

By a couple of nice things for best and just let baby wear the stained ones. They will be ruined the first time baby is sick all over them/the nappy explodes anyway.

Twigletfairy · 03/10/2020 17:51

What about if she got some second hand stuff? You can get full boxes of stuff off places like eBay for really cheap and it's often actually quite good quality

Devlesko · 03/10/2020 17:51

Just buy a couple of nice outfits for if you go somewhere nice with baby, the rest can be dyed or stain removed as others have said.
I agree your dm has bought enough and you'd have had to have bought them yourself anyway.

thecognoscenti · 03/10/2020 17:52

@Oysterbabe

I would just put the baby in them and not worry about it. They'll only fit for 5 minutes anyway.
This is what I'd do! Baby won't care. Seems such a waste to just chuck them.
sapnupuas · 03/10/2020 17:54

Was it a fountain pen? Would one of those eraser pens work? Like we used to get it school (made of "pigs piss").

Grasping at straws, here.

Nottherealslimshady · 03/10/2020 17:54

God I'd be absolutely gutted. They shouldn't have been washed with everything else. I'd let her replace the nicer stuff and replace the basics with bulk packs of cheap stuff. I wouldn't be putting my new baby in ink stained clothes, yeah they still work but with your first baby you want them in nice new stuff.

Minimumstandard · 03/10/2020 17:54

I'd ask her if she could choose one really nice outfit that she likes for baby and then buy a few inexpensive outfits for photos/trips out. The ink-stained stuff will be fine for grubbing around the house and middle of the night changes. Try bleach on the white stuff (rewash obviously).

Xiaoxiong · 03/10/2020 17:55

Ooh I know I don't care a bit about this now but I would have been gutted before DS1 was born so do feel for you. It's no help telling you from my perspective many years after raising 2 very sicky babies that this stuff doesn't matter so Flowers and I promise one day this will be a funny memory with your parents about the pen and how lovely your mum was trying to help out etc.

I'd not let your mum replace stuff, but maybe you could as a project together dye them various colours - blue, green or purple will all cover the stains. And/or keep them for wearing under snowsuits etc because they will fit for such a very short time.