What to do about ruined baby clothes?

[User36258]

I’m currently pregnant with my first baby. My mum (who has been so amazing and generous about this pregnancy) offered to take the baby clothes we have bought and wash them for us so they’re ready for the arrival of the baby. We gratefully accepted this offer of help.

Unfortunately, due to an unnoticed pen which was in the pocket of some of my dad’s trousers when they were washed, the majority of the clothes have been ruined by the pen exploding and ink leaking everywhere. They are still technically usable, but covered in huge, ugly, black ink stains.

My mum is beside herself and has said she will replace everything. The trouble is, we are talking a couple of hundred pounds at least, and it’s money she doesn’t easily have to hand as she is now retired. She has also already paid for so much - she bought all our nursery furniture for instance and has spend days helping us paint and decorate.

We can’t really afford to replace the clothes either. But I feel guilty accepting her offer of replacements when it was a total accident, and it’s not easy for her to replace them. So I’m thinking I could just buy some inexpensive basics to replace what has been ruined, knowing that people will likely gift us nice things when the baby is born anyway.

My mum is really pressing us to let her replace the clothes, and I think she might feel less guilty if she did. But I don’t want her to feel guilty, she was doing a nice thing and accidents happen. So should I just insist that it’s fine and she doesn’t need to replace them, or should I accept her offer?

Milk will usually take out ink stains. Might be worth a try.

I was going to say just keep them and use them - get what stains out that you can but honestly they'd get stained eventually anyway. It's really nothing to get upset over.

Perhaps try milk first, if not try stain remover. If that doesn't work you don't have anything to lose by trying bleach then a dye. I wouldn't let you mum replace everything though, and you will get clothes when your baby is born.

The clothes are a real mix. Some supermarket / high street basics (plain babygrows, vests etc) that aren’t really a problem because we can hopefully dye them or replace them inexpensively. And some eBay bundles, which we can replace without spending too much. But a fair bit was pricier stuff - House of Margaux, Jojo Maman Bebe, Mori etc. It wasn’t all newborn / 0-3, we had some 3-6 months as well. Those items could cost as much as £20-30 per outfit so the cost quickly adds up. You don’t notice it so much when it’s just the odd thing here and there over a period of months!

We’ve definitely spent more than we needed to and bought more, but we got carried away with the excitement a bit. And because we don’t know if we’re having a boy or a girl it’s all unisex, so we had the idea it could be used for a subsequent baby if we have one, or given to friends and family once we didn’t need it any more.

Like most first time mums you have probably gone overboard with clothes. New babies are hardly in clothes for 5 minutes and with covid I doubt you will be going far with your new baby. To be fair new babies also look nicest and are comfiest in plain cotton white sleep suits anyway (these, white muslim squares and plain white vests are available in packs very cheaply in all the supermarkets). All babies whites can be washed together (thus avoiding any more mishaps with a pen or dark stray sock etc). They are also much more practical and you can wash all of babies whites together. Maybe let mum buy you a snowsuit if one got ruined, or one nice outfit, or a pack of half a dozen white sleep suits and vests which won’t break the bank if she absolutely insists. You will no doubt be inundated with baby clothes.

I'd maybe choose a 'going home from hospital' outfit for the baby together- something that feels special but that wont break the bank. And get a few supermarket basics and Ebay/ facebook bundles. They grow so fast out of the early stuff that it will be in good condition most likely. I think most people overspend on tiny baby clothes, they get a load of cute outfits then realise when they are sleeping and puking so much that cheap baby grows are most practical

Definitely one of the stain removers for biro. You could also try emailing the customer services team at the stain remover company if it doesn’t work and explain. Make sure you follow the stain removal instructions to the letter - I would do that first of all. It was a total accident and these things happen so I fully understand why you don’t want your mum to spend money replacing. If you can’t get the stains out then I would buy some packs of basic white bay gros/vests, wash them all in non bio and add something like comfort pure to the rinse, tumble dry if possible and they will be as good as really expensive ones. You may also find that friends rally round when they know what’s happened.

Sorry should also add I wouldn’t use them stained as your poor mum will feel dreadful every time she sees baby in one.

@OoohTheStatsDontLie I love the idea of a going home outfit, that way it’s something a bit special and she would really enjoy being involved in choosing it. Thank you for the suggestion!

Dr beckmans have a stain remover kit that gets pen out! £4.99 in Sainsbury's. It's saved me a few times when ds has left a biro in a short pocket

I used to work in a bridal shop and we used vagisel on stains on wedding dresses. I was trying on my own wedding dress and my mum didnt realise she was bleeding. All down my wedding dress. Took it out too after a few tears

I’m making a list of all the stain removal methods to try!

You can buy solvents that remove ink from clothing. I know solvents aren't ideal but you can wash the clothes through a couple of times to make sure they're clear of it. Hopefully that would help?

I would tell her not to worry, maybe let her buy babies first shoes. It's one of the few things I've kept in the baby boxes.

What MikeUniformMike saya - your mum's house contents insurance will almost certainly pay out and the two of you can go shopping together!

Fingers crossed for you.

Try the tips for removal first, it was an accident and no doubt your dps are upset that this biro was in the wash. It'll be something you're laugh over in the future

I think perhaps getting a going home from hospital is a good idea. 💐 Buy mum a bunch of flowers and tell her not to worry

Just my baby who was in tiny/small sizes for months then? Talking 1-2/2-4 months when she was walking around at 9 months in a big-ish cloth nappy. Massively stained stuff for that long would have done my head in and we stopped getting poo leaks when we switched to cloth but she did throw up on everything constantly for about 5 months, but that and then cloth nappies had massively improved my ability to wash stuff really well.

Biro (like a bic) tends to wash out over time, well the writing on clothes does anyway not sure about big splodges. Lots of stain remover (could even do a concentrated soak) long wash cycles and good quality detergent goes a long way.

Stain remover , re-wash and leave on the washing line for a week or two. I managed to save a new white top which was covered in bolognese sauce by leaving it outside for about a week! Worth a try!

Try spraying the ink stains with cheap hairspray, leave it to stand until ink marks start to bleed on the fabric then machine wash using bio detergent and a colour catcher sheet in the wash to catch the stray ink.

My son used to come home covered in black ink on his shirts from school and this worked every time. It might help salvage some items at least.

Your mum must feel dreadful although why on earth didn’t she wash them as a load by themselves?

If I were her I’d want to replace every stitch and I’d insist on doing it. I’m currently buying clothes for a granddaughter who arrives next month and I can’t get my head round anyone not caring about ink stained new born clothes.

You said

She has also already paid for so much - she bought all our nursery furniture for instance and has spend days helping us paint and decorate.

So she’s already saved you a big chunk of money. Surely if you won’t use stained clothes you can spend the money you’ve saved on buying replacements

Am quite shocked you’re considering letting your mum buy the clothes

As I said @MostlyHappyMummy, I’m not comfortable accepting her offer to replace them. She is being very insistent about doing so because she feels guilty, but I’ve tried very hard to reassure her that she really doesn’t need to, and that accidents just happen sometimes.

Bless your (and her!) heart. It's just one of those things. Just wanted to wish you well with your stain removal!

Also to second the idea of dyeing some bits if it doesn't work. Some of my favourite outfits for my little one were navy blue.

Also to say that we're coming into winter and you may be surprised at how much kicking around at home you do in those first few months (and how many outfit changes they go through in a day!). You could always have a stock of 'going out' clothes and a stock of scruffy home clothes kept separately as a last resort? Honestly, early on if I managed to change DC out of their sleep outfit before they pooed up the back of it, I felt like I won the motherhood trophy for the day!

Definitely try home insurance

Also if your mum wants to buy something I would suggest one outfit at each age / stage - that way she can spread the money out and you’ll get more use from it than loads of tiny baby stuff anyway.

For some "nicer" bits (saw you've bought things from JoJo etc), it's worth looking at the outlet section on their website, there's usually a surprising amount on there and for much cheaper! Mamas and Papas have a similar outlet section on their website.