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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want give my bf a blowjob whilst he watches other women on TV

118 replies

MirkleMe · 01/10/2020 14:00

This is not ok is it?

I've suspected he's been watching women on TV whilst we were having sex before but last night he literally asked for a blowjob when someone he fancied appeared on TV.

So basically he wants me to suck him off while he watches this other woman.

I haven't raised this with him because I know he will deny it and call me crazy.

This isn't normal is it?

It makes me feel like I'm not good enough to turn him on. I also feel used. Am I overacting and this is just something some men like to do?

OP posts:
Lockheart · 01/10/2020 17:09

You're not BU to say no to anything you don't want to do.

If you enjoy a healthy and mutually satisfying sexual relationship then I wouldn't say he's BU to ask for something he wants.

However it sounds like that is very much not the case.

SoulofanAggron · 01/10/2020 17:11

My ex-FWB had a lot of health problems, so he would have very little sensation and difficulty coming. I would give him oral while he watched transvestite porn. It was ok for us, but then we weren't really in a romantic relationship.

RozHuntleysStump · 01/10/2020 17:15

I was with someone once who wanted to watch Celtic during sex. I said no and still slept with him!

Blondiney · 01/10/2020 17:16

@hexmeginny

I've suspected he's been watching women on TV whilst we were having sex before but last night he literally asked for a blowjob when someone he fancied appeared on TV.

I don't get this bit.. how would you not know? Are you somehow in different rooms while doing the deed?

He must be exceedingly well endowed. Shock
VenusClapTrap · 01/10/2020 17:25

Ha ha! I’m totally with Bubbly Barbara! 😂

BitOfFun · 01/10/2020 17:26

This thread is incredibly crude; why can't people use the Sex topic?

Prettybluepigeons · 01/10/2020 17:30

GrinGrinGrin

innerspinner · 01/10/2020 17:33

Well this is odd. I need to know who he wants to watch on the “telly.” Do you know, OP? I mean, maybe he fancied someone in a BBC drama, but st best, he’s likely to only be watching her intermittently, or for a few seconds - then there will be a murder or something, as per most TV. Or maybe he likes a newsreader or weather woman, but then..., flash, it’s Boris Johnson again. I don’t see how this can work at all.

Idontbelieveit12 · 01/10/2020 17:34

Barbara’s hubby obvs doesn’t wash much Grin

RuffleCrow · 01/10/2020 17:34

It would be ok if you were actually into it too. But clearly you're not, so definitely don't do this. Is your relationship good otherwise?

markzuckerbergsgreytshirt · 01/10/2020 17:41

Just dump him

iklboo · 01/10/2020 17:46

Personally, I wouldn't be impressed if DH asked me to do this with the telly on regardless of what he was watching, but I am a bit old-fashioned

Maybe he thought they were watching Gobblebox?

hexmeginny · 01/10/2020 17:48

@BitOfFun

This thread is incredibly crude; why can't people use the Sex topic?
ooh matron!
SarahBellam · 01/10/2020 18:07

Oh god. I hate IKEA. Does this mean I have to stop giving BJs?

PhilSwagielka · 01/10/2020 18:15

@BubblyBarbara

Ask him to go down on you whilst you are watching your celebrity crush on TV and see how he feels!

I wouldn't. You might not like the answer. I think a man would engage in anything sexual even if you were on your phone posting on MN.

BJs are disgusting anyway. Maybe something you'd do in the lustful part of a relationship but do you really want to suck on some rancid old body part of someone you later go shopping at IKEA with. No thanks.

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read in here.
FourPlasticRings · 01/10/2020 18:23

@hexmeginny

ooh matron!

GrinGrinGrin

Emeraldshamrock · 01/10/2020 18:24

Trust your instincts you may be paranoid or right on the mark.
Men are obvious he's probably use to wanking watching tv.
It doesn't sound like a good sex life giving him a bj while he's watching a celebrity on tv he sounds like a selfish lover.
If it was an adult film I'd get it.
Tell him to piss off.

liverbird10 · 01/10/2020 18:34

@Blondiney GrinGrin

Leolion09 · 01/10/2020 18:44

@RozHuntleysStump me too except it was United Hmm I've learnt since then Grin

PhilSwagielka · 01/10/2020 19:00

I couldn’t give a man head if he was watching Everton, I’d start screaming at the telly!

nosswith · 01/10/2020 19:20

About 25 of you think this is OK?

AllAboutTheMonet · 01/10/2020 19:27

GrinGrin iklboo

RedDiamond · 01/10/2020 19:35

OP must be hard at it. They posted at 14.00hrs...

IWantT0BreakFree · 01/10/2020 19:50

He isn't really being unreasonable to ask for something that turns him on, you're definitely not unreasonable to say no if its not your thing.

You know some couples like that sort of thing right? Confused

This is an odd way to frame it. OP isn't describing a situation where her partner has been honest about a fantasy or something he wants to try, and given OP the opportunity to accept or decline. He isn't "asking for something that turns him on". It reads to me like he's hoping she hasn't noticed that he is ogling someone on the TV and he's trying to get her to unwittingly perform the role of 'living blow up doll' so that he can pretend it's actually his celebrity crush who's giving him head. It's not OK to involve someone else in a sexual game that they don't know they are part of. It's not alright for OP's partner to try and trick her into being a sex aid so that he can pretend she is someone else, when she thinks she is actually having a genuinely intimate experience with someone who loves her.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 01/10/2020 20:11

If you're going to quote me then please quote the parts where I say that they need communication and discussion of boundaries and respect too Hmm

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